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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not have a "precious" first born?

15 replies

MoonUnitAlpha · 11/02/2011 22:05

I've read some PFB threads recently and am starting to think that maybe I have been a bit unreasonable not to be more precious about ds Hmm

Lots of posters have mentioned having pre-child ideals like no TV, no formula, no sugar, no dummies - surely I'm not the only one who didn't even start with good intentions?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 11/02/2011 22:07

no.i didnt either!! thought i would learn as i went

also,had been a nanny for a while before dd came along,so was well vesed with uptight employers who were more than pfb!!

GreenEyesandHam · 11/02/2011 22:07

I'd love to say no, but sadly I sooooooo did.

I sometimes 'go back' in my imagination, just to point and laugh at my younger self

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/02/2011 22:08

Give yourself time MoonUnit, there is bound to be something that gets you all riled up eventually Grin

In seriousness, YANBU. DH and I went into parenting very relaxed, and the things that we are 'PFB-ish' (for want of a better word) about now that DS is 2 and a half are things that we've picked up along the way.

I am waiting with interest to see how we are with DC2 :)

Original poster
MoonUnitAlpha · 11/02/2011 22:14

I'm sure there must be something I'll have to be precious about...

OP posts:
celebmum · 11/02/2011 22:15

i don't know if i am PFBish....? how do i find this out?? what would i be doing if i am?? Confused

thegreatpudenda · 11/02/2011 22:16

Well I started off with the intention of giving mine a dummy and watching as much tv as he wanted. As it turned out he wouldn't hold a dummy in his mouth and kept pulling the sky box of the shelf and trying to put the live wires in his mouth so we now have no dummy or tv! He does have formula and some sugar though (not sure how they could have NO sugar).

GypsyMoth · 11/02/2011 22:16

how do you feel about mcdonalds???Grin

Original poster
MoonUnitAlpha · 11/02/2011 22:18

I've not taken him to MacDonalds yet but he has eaten chips in the Ikea cafe Blush

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 11/02/2011 22:21

What's so "good" about having unrealistic overly precious insane expectations.

It's not as if McDonalds is poison and everyone who lets their child eat it has failed, some of us don't think it's particularly bad.

GypsyMoth · 11/02/2011 22:23

there was a thread trillian today,the op would not have it that it was ok,for a party,as a one off....no,no,no.....she would not give in!

Squitten · 11/02/2011 22:27

My first-born is currently 2 and doing a good impression of hellspawn most days so "precious" is not generally one of my feelings about the little sod Wink

If anything I'm likely to be more precious over newborn DS2 whilst trying to not repeat the mistakes I feel I already made!

TrillianAstra · 11/02/2011 22:34

Tiffany That's why I'm questioning the "surely I'm not the only one who didn't even start with good intentions?" in the OP.

It's as if she is saying that we should all aspire to be like the mad woman, but we fail. Instead, we might choose to not be overly finicky about our babies.

Squitten I thinyou are confusing the two ways of using the word precious.

Precious = beloved, rare, priceless, yes your baby is that.

Precious = affected, fastidious, fussy, overly particular, this is what we shoud try not to be and what we are accusing people of being when we say PFB.

COCKadoodledooo · 11/02/2011 22:37

I don't recall being PFB-ish with ds1.

My father in law keeps going on about the fact we'd say "Oh the book doesn't say he should do that yet" and shite like that. We didn't btw (had no fcking baby books), but the old goat does like to make up completely random crap about other people reminisce.

My friend at school is ridiculously utterly PFB with her son who is a week older than my ds2. He is also her second child. She keeps trying the competitive stuff on me too, but I don't give a crap!

zipzap · 11/02/2011 22:44

DH was very ill when ds1 was born so didn't have time for him to be PFB; too busy looking after dh Sad

however do wonder if ds2 is turning into P2B - not sure if it is because i have more time to worry or if he is just more accident prone than his big bro...

overthehillmum · 11/02/2011 22:47

YANBU, I had my first kid at 21 years and second one at 22 years, looking back I haven't a clue how they turned out so normal, I was slapdash, just tried to get through each stage, my weaning technique consisted of mashing banana and sugar and feeding her that, putting them in front of the telly to get ironing done, not showing them flash cards or encouraging their potential by doing lots of baby group things... having now read up on all the things I should have actually have done I am horrified at myself Grin, I am only 42 and some of my friends are just having kids and I struggle to even hold them cos I am scared I am going to drop them or something, yet I can remember balancing one 14 month year old in one arm and the newborn in the waltzing down the stairs without a second thought!! I think I may turn into the granny from hell when my kids have theirs....

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