to think these mums were making unfair generalisations?

[HollyFP]

Having lunch with some other first time mums and babies yesterday. The conversation turned to nurseries, as some as returning to work soon.
One of the mums said she has discounted a nursery because it has a male nursery worker. She felt uncomfortable with that, even though by her own admission it was a fantastic nursery otherwise. Apparently a male nursery worker in the area has been suspected or charged with paedophilia, and this is why she feels uncomfortable putting her DC into a nursery (not the same one) which has a male worker on its staff.

AIBU to think this is an unfair generalisation to male nursery workers and unhealthy attitude in general?! I can see how she came to form that opinion but it seems strangely over-reactionary to me. Ultimately of course it's entirely her choice where she leaves her DC during the day.

I was too surprised at the time to question her opinion, but the more I thought about it afterwards the more I felt sad about it.

well, she should feel uneasy about female nursery workers since the two recent cases.

So who does she suggest works in the nursery? Fluffy bunnies?

Silly woman.

YANBU, rather than unfair it seems pretty disgusting to me. I reeeeeeeally hate the current tendency for people to assume that all men are paedophiles. As we know from the case recently in the news, women can commit sex crimes in nurseries too.

D

i agree we cant keep assuming that all men in nurseries nannys or midwives etc are to be treated with suspision. why are they more likely to have indecent feelings towards children than a woman? no reason. maybe we should create genderless robots and have them bring up our children for fear of us and all other adults going crazy and looking at children inappropriatly.

it is very sad indeed

I agree it is an over reaction. However, a friend who was sexually abused as a child readily admits she is OTT in protecting her own children as a result of her childhood. Perhaps this mum has had experiences - either herself or close family or friends - that makes her OTT with her children?

I would be very concerned about fluffy bunnies working in a nursery. I would want to see proof of their qualifications, and reassurance about e.coli risk.

Good point. H&S risk.

Fairies?

My dd and now Ds go to a nursery that has the most wonderful male teacher. He is the favourite member of staff and get the best Christmas gifts!!! He reAlly gets stuck in with the games and the boys worship him as he loves ball games tennis etc. It's been brilliAnt for both of mine and for those children with no male role model I'd say even better!

YANBU

I think the more male workers there are in this field the better. It will help to put a stop to this horrible prejudice that is developing towards men.

My local children's centre has a male family support worker and the kids love him. He plays differently to the females so it's nice to have the diversity.

Hmmm.

It depends on the Faries really.

I mean they could either steal your teeth, act as scouts for a pre-pubescent abducting children to form a militia to oppose some pirates in his homeland, be replacing the children with changelings and spiriting the actual children away to the land of Faerie or looking pretty on flowers.

The vetting process might be prohibitive.

You are quite right of course. Fairies are far too dangerous to be allowed access to children.

I suppose we could not employ small cartoon woodland creatures, who can sing and dance for the children and clear up the nursery?

That MIGHT be acceptable.

After a full Risk Assessment.

The small cartoon woodland creatures may leave their droppings behind, creating a cross infection risk.

Ah - but the point is they are CARTOON animals and therefore do not defecate. Or at least if they do it's just paint that looks like shit.

It's her choice. But I can see a male role model being good for some children, particularly if there is no man around at home, and some men are particularly good with kids of both sexes.

I would LOVE it if I could find a nursery with a male assistant. In primary schools there a massive shortage of male teachers and it's really hard to demonstrate a sense of equality to children, if they perceive the care and education of children as 'woman's work'. Similarly in a nursery, it just re-inforces the idea that daddies do 'proper jobs' while mummies look after children.

Your friend's daft.

Exactly Lisascat I hate the gender stereotypes this kind of talk brings up. But at a basic level its just unfair generalisations.

It's no surprise that men don't tend to work in these areas if that is the attitude of some people.

I am about to say something that sounds a bit sexist - but I wonder if more women tend to work with young children because they are actually better at it / like young children more? Surely in this day and age where there are no barriers, if men wanted to they would be doing it.

I think its a real shame that there aren't more male nursery workers and primary school teachers/lsa. The children love them.

YANBU. My DS has a male nursery assistant and he's great. The person that takes his Jo Jingles class is also male. I like the fact that my DS has other positive male role models in addition to his dad and other family members.

This view that men must be a bit dodgy if they want to work with children is very sad indeed.

Ali unfortunately I think there are still barriers to men working in this field - people's attitudes for one will discourage them. If I decided to put my DD in a nursery I would love to find one with a male worker. It shows that men are just as capable as women at caring for children. Sadly the very rare occurrance of paedophilia within childcare settings has clouded the judgement of some people.

Keepcalm that is exactly what this mum said, 'youve got to wonder why they (men) want to work with kids)'

The annoying thing for me is that I really like this mum, we see each other 2-3 times a week with other babies etc, but I can't help feeling slightly differently towards her after this :(

Another Mum & I were just last night praising the chap who works in DD's nursery - just the one man in the building and the kids love him!! It's a shame there aren't more men working at pre-school level, though I can see why nurseries also have to be very careful.