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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Reception children and after school activities AIBU

22 replies

grumpymcgrump · 11/02/2011 10:54

so - whilst im ina grump about the half term, play date thing. im also in a grump about afterschool activites.
( am in a generally grumpy mood)
Dd does swimming on a friday. She started march last year and she loves it.
Last few weeks her swimming class has got infultrated by pushy parents children and im a bit narked off about that.

But, mostly , AIBU to not sign my child up to any other activies yet. I think just swimming is fine. SOME of the other girls are doing dancing one night, cheerleading the next, rainbows the other etc... etc...
i wouldnt mind DD doing rainbows, but i think im going to wait until brownines as its 5:30 till 6:30 and shes currently going to bed at 6:30.

Most of her friends are doing rainbows and i feel a bit crap that im not letting her go, but i dont believe in a constant stream of activities, i think down time is important. Plus, from a purely selfish point of view, i would struggle to fit it all in AND shes only just turned 5 FFS.

Plently of time of all these kinds of things if she wants. or not, if she doesnt want to.

OP posts:

Fiddledee · 11/02/2011 10:58

You do what you want for your DD and don't judge others on what they want to do for their DC they are doing it for the best. They and their kids may have more stamina and or different priorities. Butt out and don't call them pushy.

ShatnersBassoon · 11/02/2011 11:01

I think this is a non-issue. Your child would be too tired to do an activity every night and you don't want to disrupt her bedtime routine, some children love doing things every evening and can go to bed later. No problem there.

Loopymumsy · 11/02/2011 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieLeeCurtis · 11/02/2011 11:02

YEs, try not to feel pressurised, or to make assumptions about others. My DCs did very little after school until fairly recently (Juniors), because they were very tired after school. They should only do what they enjoy, at this stage, IMO

KnittedBreast · 11/02/2011 11:02

see i actually think that encourgaing kids to be out of the house an experiencing motivation and successes outside of school work etc is a good thing. My 2 year old does gymnastics but im not training her up for the olymipics i just want my children to know from a young age there is more to life than school homework tc dinner and bed each night.

when i was growing up my parents didnt see the importance inspiring me want more for myself so i really strive to OFFER my children these cahcnes if they dont want them thats fine. Of course there has to be balance, you cant tire them out all the time. but i think new experiences and the feeling of self worth is a good thing.

maxpower · 11/02/2011 11:03

my DD has only just started reception and I've just signed her up to an after school tennis club. I know she wants to do dancing as well, so will look into that for a weekend activity. Do as much or as little as you think is suitable for her and that you can manage logistically. Are the mums of the other girls you refer to working single parents?

AnnMarlow · 11/02/2011 11:03

YANBU but neither are other people. DD does dancing after school on Mondays and then Rainbows from 5pm until 6pm on Tuesdays. I wouldn't want her to do any more but am happy with what she is doing. Doesn't mean that children doing more or fewer activities are wrong though.

hewlettsdaughter · 11/02/2011 11:04

YANBU. If it helps, I have made exactly the same decisions re my dd as you(she is now year 2, swims once a week and is down on the list for brownies (we gave rainbows a miss).

Some kids probably thrive on lots of activities but I didn't think it was right for my dd.

Gleekfreak · 11/02/2011 11:05

My DS (4) is in reception and just does swimming sat and a playdate every other wk-he's too tired for anything else, but it's up to you-you know your DC best and know what they're capable of without overwhelming them. One of DD's friends does something every night of the week-on one night has ballet and gymnastics! , my DD (6) just does swimming sat, violin wed, with a playdate on a fri-suits her and me. :)

Original poster

grumpymcgrump · 11/02/2011 11:05

i can call them pushy parents if i want to :)
They are the ones that have jumped on the bandwagon and are shouting at the top of their voices what their children do each night of the week and how much it costs and then trying to get their child into a higher class, becuase, even though they cant swim, they reckon they will learn much quicker than everyone else.

Im just surprised that so much money is being spent on afterschool activites and how much they do and then annoyed at the face pulling i get becuase ive said DD isnt going to be going dancing/cheerleading (??!?!?!) rainbows, streetdancing, gymnastics right now

OP posts:

Dancergirl · 11/02/2011 11:07

YANBU

Even doing ONE after school activity is too much for reception children. Don't worry what everyone else is doing. You can get carried away with all these activities but actually young children benefit more from being at home and having free time to play.

My dds all do ballet which they love but I try and make sure there is plenty of time at home too.

Brownies I would highly recommend! Good idea to miss out rainbows.

Onetoomanycornettos · 11/02/2011 11:08

Well, you are quite grumpy because I don't think others really care what you do for your children. I don't even know what most people's children do as standard, I do what suits mine (and actually seems similar to here) which is extra stuff (music, dance) on Sat but not in the week. Mine do go to after-school club a couple of times a week, though, and that is very exciting but tiring, so I already feel like that is an activity in itself.

mrsgboring · 11/02/2011 11:11

We have had to give up on swimming since DS1 started Reception. It was our only after school activity and even that was really too much for him. I do feel sad that we can't manage it though as neurotic about all the other children learning to swim and my DS1 refusing. Sigh.

He does learn loads in his free play at home - endless junk modelling, playdates and even reading independently. None of which we'd have time for if we were out at classes all week playing the "my child is better than your child" game in the changing rooms...

Round here they don't take Beavers until they're five and a half (don't know if it's the same for Rainbows) so most won't start in YrR

Sullwah · 11/02/2011 11:16

I just hate the term "pushy parents".

It just seems to be so judgy. We are all doing what we think is best for our own personal circumstances

TotemPole · 11/02/2011 11:16

I think a few after school activities is ok at that age. It gives them chance to meet children outside of their own classroom/school and try different things out.

Original poster

grumpymcgrump · 11/02/2011 11:23

maxpower why would you think i mean the other mums are working single parents????
what has that got to do with anything? and why do you think i mean that?

Im not juding anyone, each to their own, i know its not right for my DD and i have been feeling a bit pressured to sign her up to all these things and mums have been passing details round the school gate like wildfire.
Then when they ask if i have called the rainbows or whatever and i say no, ive decided to give it a miss, i get a face pulled at me.

OP posts:

GloriaSmut · 11/02/2011 11:23

I kept after-school activities to an absolute minimum until Juniors. We did have "playdates", which we called "having a friend for tea" but not more than once a week in term time.

I'm a huge believer in children needing (the mental and physical) space for free play and time to wind down after school and I don't think they benefit from too many structured activities when very young. I also believed in fairly early bedtimes when they were in Reception because school is such a tiring experience so anything that finished as late as 6.30 wouldn't have been on.

You don't deny your child any sort of opportunities by waiting until they are old enough to cope with a busier timetable of out of school activities.

TotemPole · 11/02/2011 11:24

grumpy, does the school run any after school clubs?

FanjolinaJolie · 11/02/2011 11:30

We did swimming one afternoon after school while DD1 was in reception.

Nothing more.

They're tired (and grumpy) enough after school without adding a load of other activities into the mix.

Original poster

grumpymcgrump · 11/02/2011 11:42

they do. but not for reception aged children.
ive also been doing playdates, but really only one every other week.

OP posts:

Flowergarden1 · 11/02/2011 12:07

We don't do any after school activities in Reception, except playing with friends . I don't care what other parents think is right for their children; I know what's right for mine.

Decorhate · 11/02/2011 12:11

I agree that one after school activity is plenty for Reception children. I just did swimming lessons for mine at that stage too. They can build up to do more activities as they get older.

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