Would you rather live somewhere you hate but own, or live somewhere you live and private rent?

[ijudge]

This is the choice we are faced with and truly have no idea what to do for the best.

We really dislike where we live now, bad neighbours, quite a rough area, - but we do own our house, no equity with a mortgage we are struggling to pay and won't end till we are 65.

Move to another part of the country where we would like to live, somewhere beautiful where we could rent forever and raise the children in a better area.

What would you choose

Short term happiness over long term security?
Live for now or plan for later?

We are going round in circles and would appreciate any advice

Going seems the easy option.

Walking away would mean breathing a huge sigh of relief.

But then long term are we screwing ourselves over?

if you don't have to bring up your children in a bad area why do it that is much more important than whether you own your own house or not. Property market terrible if you can hold it out for a couple of years it may bounce back or it may not.

Rent in a place I love.

Totally agree with expat - it's only in the UK that renting is considered to be "throwing" your money away. FGS - accomodation is a basic need. Is buying clothing (and then not reselling after you're done) considered throwing your money away?

We rent in a lovely area ,good schools etc , we missed the boat to buy and buy to let mortgages are like rocking horse shit without a huge deposit ,so i have accepted that without a lottery win ,this is where we are at . We could own but only if we uproot from all our friends and family and move to a not nice area ,with not very good schools and a high crime rate.

I mention the buy to let bit ,because we could afford a little flat/house in the local town ,which we could rent out for the next 20 years till the kids were big enough to throw out leave home

to me this is an absolute no brainer.

what is the point of financial security if you are unhappy? (assuming that you dont mean having to live hand to move with ongoing money worries, if you do move)

we have just moved area.. new school new home, new town, new friends. but our old life was good too, we just wanted to be more rural and to have a smaller mortgage.

i find myself shaking my head in disbelief as i read this. it seems so clear to me, love.

you say the area is rough and the neighbours arent nice. you must act in the children's best interests, surely. what do you think is more relevant to their lives? home ownership or the points i've just mentioned??

'hand to mouth' . sorry.

I think your happiness is priceless, renting in the nicer area without being responsible for repairs will take away so much stress. From the sound of it your bought house is not security for the future because what will happen when you are old and can't afford to maintain it?

Mmmmmm - misery in a house I won't even own outright until I'm 65, or a happy, fulfilled life in a place I love with better schools for my children and happier parents? I think I know what I would go for. You only get the one life.

If you are in negative equity now and struggling to cover your monthly mortgage payments, I'm sorry to say it, but things are not likely to get any better over the next few years... you may end up having your house repossessed anyway if the cost of living rises / benefit cuts / wage freezes start biting at your ankles, or God forbid, you are made redundant.

I would say the only downside of renting is if you have to move a lot because of landlords only wanting to let for a short period, but if you are confident you can find a long-term rent, I would say go for it. I think we need to move away from our obsession with having a mortgage in this country, and quickly. They are becoming less and less affordable for the working and middle class.

Rent somewhere you love.

Helping kids out when they are older is all well and good, but not if is going to make you miserable now. In anycase owning your house will only help them if you sell, and who knows if that will be possible.

Sell now and be happy.

Sorry you are in this siutation :(

Are you screwing yourselves over? I think you have to compare the rent to an interest only mortgage. If that £200 is paying off the capital each month, you aren't really 'saving' it by not paying it - you are just using it differently. £200pm paying off your capital is about the same as £200pm in an ISA for instance, except you probably (like the rest of us!!) wont do that and it will get spent - there for you may have a better standard of living, but less of an investment. I very much doubt house prices will be the same in 10 years as they are now - but even if they are you will have built equity in the house with your £200 plus each month.

I think there is a lot to be said for living in a house you own myself. There is far more stability and you can do what you want to it (pretty much). There's just that feeling of 'it's ours'.

But, you have to weigh that up against how bad it is where you are - if it's making you all miserable or scared and it's not just one set of neighbours then maybe renting isn't so bad - you just have to take the risk that the LL will give you notice and you may not find something near enough the school your kids are already in :(

How would you be screwing yourselves over?

The area you are bringing your children up in will affect them negatively. This would be different if you don't have any choice, but you do.

If you move they will go to a better school; have less chance of becoming friends with or being bullied by yobs and have parents who are more relaxed and will therefore be better parents.

All you are giving up is the fact that you "own" a house. Owning is great if you can pay off your mortgage when you are younger and have lots of years when you have extra disposable income.

But for you, you will finish paying off the mortgage when you are 65. The only benefit would be when you die your children will inherit the house and will benefit from its sale.

But as someone else said, lots of research shows that people earn more if they go to a good school. A happy childhood in a place where the whole family enjoys living will set them up better emotionally for their adult life. And you could save some of the extra £200 a month for your children when they are adults.

Saving money could actually be much more benefacial for your children than inheriting a house. Most people inherit a house when they are middle age or older- as they have to wait for parents to die. But extra money is often more helpful earlier in someone's life. For example, to help with degree or training costs, for deposit on first house or when they have their first baby.

Rent and be happy, feel safe and be able to provide your children with a nice environment and a good education. They need safety, they need happt parents, they need to be well educated and they need a good example set and they need it now. Helping them out when they are older won't compensate for a miserable childhood in a shitty school with appalling neighbours.

I rent a house with a huge garden, having owned in the past and found it nothing but a drain on all my resources. My rented house is in a beautiful village, one of the most desirable in the country with virtually no crime, no antisocial behaviour and countryside to die for. To buy in this village would be out of my reach as a lone parent - there is nothing under at least a quarter of a million.

As frenchfancy said, sell now and be happy.

Hi, ijudge.

How can a home be happy if it's a millstone round your neck?

Why work hard to support a mortgage, when you could be supporting a family?

You only get one chance at life (yeah cliche, but true) Don't waste it!

As homeownership becomes less and less achievable by more and more people, particularly the younger generation who will be saddled with huge student loan debts, low wages and high taxes as well as stricter lending rules, hopefully this ridiculous stigma about renting will decrease and rental laws will change.

I own a house in an area I don't like but it's best for the children to be here, the day the youngest finishes high school in erm 10 years time we will move like a shot.
And if that means renting because I'm now priced out of my chosen area so be it.
There are lots of advantages to NOT owning a house once you reach a certain age, but save in other ways so your life's work isn't for nothing iyswim.

The only thing that would make me cautious about selling in order to rent is that you can be moved on at such short notice by private landlords (a friend of mine has moved three times in the past two years, is about to have a baby and has been served notice again - all because LLs have decided to sell, not because she has been anything other than brilliant tenant).

In your situation, if I could move to a better area and find a LL who was in it for the long term, then I would definitely rent.

I am relieved to hear so many of you believe we are not mad for wanting to sell to rent.

It's not really about the money that comes from owning our own house that makes the choice a difficult one, its the stabiltiy. How does a child feel when they have to keep moving hous? Is that fair?

on the reverse side, ijude, is it fair for them to grow up in a bad neighbourhood, in bad schools, when you could provide better (just not owning)?

because the reality is kids from nicer areas statistically do better than those from not nice ones.

I think that if the house is in a rentable condition you should try renting it out for a year,and renting a place for yourselves.

We have lived in the same house for all the time that our children were growing up and they both used to moan at me that everyone else moved and they didn't and it wasn't fair! They thought it was boring of us.

Is there any way that they can stay at the same school but you can move to rent a house in a better part of town?

I think doing this could be a compromise solution so that some of the factors in their lives stay the same (school, friends) and one changes (house). There is much less trauma for them this way.

I would stick it out,we went through negative equity in the 90's the interest rate on our mortgage actually went up to 15% for a year, it was really tough and I had to delay having kids which is why at one point I was 50 with primary school kid, however now we have paid off our mortgage we have some security no matter what life throws at us.
Emsyj idea sounds like a good one.

I rent and will probably never be able to buy.
I don't actually like where I live, the town I mean but it;s not bad as such, it's just not for me but DD is happy here.
We're on a really safe estate with lots of things going on for kids and DD's school. She has lots of friends and it's really convenient.
I've been in the house 10 years and my LL has no intention of selling, he owns 7 houses in the street and I know him as he runs the youth club DD goes to.
I don't see him over house matters, that's all dealt with through letting agents.

Even if I could own now, I doubt I'd buy anywhere other than the estate, not because I love it, but because it's great for DD and that's what's important.
Moving to the other side of town would mean she wouldn't be able to walk to school with her friends and I'd be tied into lifts to her youth club and back and she wouldn't be able to go out to the playgrounds on her own, or even in the street which she can here.
As it's a Navy estate in part, it's all young families here.

I gave up owning in order to rent.

I owned in a poor rural area when my DS was tiny. I have no family and I had no friends there.

I sold up and moved to somewhere I am happy. I would love nothing more than to own a home to pass on to my DS however that's not going to happen, I have exchanged that possibility for making social ties and having culture and stimulation close at hand.

In all likelihood I will never get back on the housing ladder but I do not doubt I am happier here than I was in my own place out in the grim sticks.

It cost me money to make this move so the fact it will save you money I'd say would make it easier.

Get a proper valuation on your home in case you have underestimated the potential for equity. Get several valuations actually. Then you can do the maths with realistic figures.

I am in a house I loathe (bought when ex and I got together, I didnt loathe it then!), but I own it and I have to say that that does make me feel better than when I rented. I hated the insecurity of renting, having to move because the landlord wanted to sell up etc. I had to move 3 times in 18 months at one point and it was hell. Now I know that I only have to move if I want to, and although I hate that it isnt big enough and needs work doing on it that we cant currently afford, it is our home and the kids home. I feel happier that they will always have the security.

Is downsizing to a smaller property in a compromise area a possibility?

I would own rather than rent personally.

I take your point about security. You need to find a bigger landlord who is renting houses out as a business. Not just someone who is renting out one or two houses short term.

Could you research where you want to live and see whether you would be able to rent a house from someone who is looking for long term tenants. And a family would be more attractive to a landlord looking for long term tenants than a single person or young childless couple, who may be more likely to want to move on.