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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this kid is either bad mannered or underfed

18 replies

WimpleOfTheBallet · 10/02/2011 23:08

When DDs friend (both 6) came over to play, I gave both girls a decent meal plus pudding and drinks.

They played for ten or 15 miutes and then asked for crisps...it was th friend wanting crisps...I gave them some.

10 minutes later they appeared wanting biscuits and more ice cream...this went on for three effing hours!

The kid isn't overweight...a bit chunky...but not fat...all she effing did was ask (rudely) fo more food! I kept having to say "Say please" in a fake pleasant manner!

My DD eats quite a lot...but after spaghetti and meatballs (home made) bread, salad and ice creams would not the average child be happpy for an hour or so?

For three hours I had to put up with this kid asking for food every second. Should I have said no?

I don't like refusing food...fruit, the odd crip, a biccy...it's fine if they eat their meals....in moderation!

WHY do some kids act like this? Is it rude or normal? FTR her parents are nice people.

OP posts:

SecretNutellaFix · 10/02/2011 23:09

I would have said no after the crisps I think.

SecretNutellaFix · 10/02/2011 23:10

But considering you said that she didn't say please, I would go with the first option.

MsKLo · 10/02/2011 23:12

If she is verging on the chub side she ain't underfed!

Thingumy · 10/02/2011 23:13

She's not underfed if she's 'chunky'

It sounds like she gets what she wants and is a bit greedy in regards to food.

I would of said no to all food requests after dinner.

I would of allowed a few sweets as a treat though (am not that mean).

GreenEyesandHam · 10/02/2011 23:14

That's kids for ya.

They can ask for what they want, doesn't mean they'll get

Did your daughter eat it all as well?

2cats2many · 10/02/2011 23:14

Two issues here:

Being rude- I would have been asking for a 'please'.
Constantly eating- my daughter is going through a growth spurt at the moment and is insanely hungry all of the time. She just never seems full. I'd like to think that she wouldn't go hungry if she was at someone else's house.

AgentZigzag · 10/02/2011 23:14

She's not at home and is trying it on, her mum probably controls what she eats and would be mortified she was so rude forgetting her Ps and Qs.

I'd just put it down to being at someone elses house without her mum or dad.

One of DD1s friends does this, I give them stuff within reason then just point them in the direction of the fruitbowl - which they strangely turn down

piprabbit · 10/02/2011 23:15

I think you have two issues here.

First, the child's rudeness - YANBU to expect her to be able to ask nicely if she would like something, and to thank you properly.

Second, the eating thing, which is odd. Perhaps she was trying it on, perhaps she is growing fast and getting very hungry, perhaps you had treats available that she normally wouldn't get. Whatever the answer, I think I would have put my foot down on the second or third request and said that it was the last time and no point in them asking again.
YABSU, because you gave in to a couple of 6 year olds and are now blaming a 6yo for asking for more when you kept saying yes.

Tryharder · 10/02/2011 23:16

Sounds a bit strange. But if you say she's chunky, her parents have probably put her on a "diet" i.e no snacks, eating outside of meals etc and she knows that the only way she will get those things is to get them from other people's houses.

It's not normal to eat like that. Her parents would probably go ape shit if they knew she had been asking for food like that.

But I have to say YABU to be bothered by it. As least you didn't have my DS1's friend round (also 6) who turns his nose up at everything and says it is "yuck" - cheeky little fecker.

piprabbit · 10/02/2011 23:16

x-post with 2cats - oops.

bubbleOseven · 10/02/2011 23:18

just a thought,

could it be that your portion sizes are a bit on the small side? and that's why she was still hungry

it's a possibility (not being bitchy, honest)

AgentZigzag · 10/02/2011 23:18

And my DD isn't above getting her friend to come and ask me for stuff she knows I would normally say no to, the little minx.

onimolap · 10/02/2011 23:18

I would keep feeding the visitor, for you can never know another child's habits and appetite. But I would offer things like fruit or (perennial standby here) rice cakes. If they're not wanted, the child isn't that hungry.

I would also do my level best to ignore, ignore, ignore the lack of please and thank you, but I know I'd find it hard. - and I would certainly tell my DC later that it leaves a bad impression and I'd be mortified if they ever did the same.

GreenEyesandHam · 10/02/2011 23:19

Lol bubbleOseven that crossed my mind as well :o

COCKadoodledooo · 10/02/2011 23:24

Maybe she's got worms, best get yourself some Ovex!

Original poster

WimpleOfTheBallet · 10/02/2011 23:24

Bubble no! My portions are quite hefty...I just find it hard to say no....I want whoever comes to be happy. I'm a pushover. Next time I'll say "Fruit! Only Fruit"

TO be fair my DD didn't really eat any of the extra crap...only the ice cream.

I think that because my DD is very shy around adults she doesn't know well...I expect them al to be like that.

OP posts:

Thingumy · 10/02/2011 23:27

'I would keep feeding the visitor'

What is she? A cuckoo?

Slightlyreluctantexpat · 10/02/2011 23:29

She was trying it on. Sounds like they were making a game of it. Next time just say no.

Flip