Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is this ungrateful?

27 replies

mommmmyof2 · 10/02/2011 15:17

DD came out of school, the weather not so bright infact drizzling of rain.Me and ds already soaked to the bone.

Anyway dd comes out and says she has a book sale, now I have no money on me, not alot in the house.she starts crying infront of everyone saying she really wants a new book.

I told her that she can get one Saturday but no she said that is too long.So I ended up shouting at her and embarressing myself.

She then wanted me to get my money and walk back over to the school in the rain.I said no,last time there was a book sale I bought her a book.I would not deprive her of a book but she just made a right meal out of it.

Not really my fault, but AIBU fot not walking back to the school?

OP posts:
Hammy02 · 10/02/2011 15:19

Of course YANBU. Your DD needs to know that no means no.

wahwahwah · 10/02/2011 15:19

It happens to us all. How old is she?

LoopyLoopsPoopaScoop · 10/02/2011 15:21

Of course YANBU. She needs to learn that she can't always get what she wants.

Original poster
mommmmyof2 · 10/02/2011 15:21

She is 6 going on 16.Just wondered if anyone else would have walked back over.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 10/02/2011 15:22

Definitely not being unreasonable.

When mummy says no, mummy means no.

If you gave in she'd learn that the opposite is true.

And after the show she put on I would say n book on Saturday either.

I am assuming she is of school age so 4+, so definitely old enough to learn.

mjloveswineoclock · 10/02/2011 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

coldtits · 10/02/2011 15:23

YANBU

But the cause for her upset is that teachers (head teachers especially) like to trump it up into A Big Thing with comments like "aAfter school we are having a BOOK SALE, so make sure you tell your mum or dad so you ccan be rewarded for all your hard work" etcetc

Twunts.

Bogeyface · 10/02/2011 15:24

I certainly wouldnt have done. There has been the odd occasion where I have forgotten something like a school fayre that I promised we would go to, when I have nipped home for some money, but in this instance, no I definetely wouldnt.

Even if I had been half inclined to go back, the tantrum would have put paid to that!

oldwomaninashoe · 10/02/2011 15:24

No, YANBU and for crying and causing a fuss I'm afraid in my book (no pun intended) she would have been punished.

Original poster
mommmmyof2 · 10/02/2011 15:24

Thank you I was beginning to feel like I was a horrible monster the way she was going on she said 'I had ruined her day' and I am quite soft at the best of times!

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 10/02/2011 15:25

I agree with Coldtits.

I loathed book sales and didn't buy dd a book from them as they were (a) overpriced and (b) sold crap books.

You were right in not giving in to your dd.

mjloveswineoclock · 10/02/2011 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mommmmyof2 · 10/02/2011 15:30

She loves her books, I think I was asking to because lately I think she feels everything she has asked for I have said no, but it is down to bad timing or no money, I do try my best and has more than some so it really does annoy me when she acts like a spoilt brat

OP posts:
mummytime · 10/02/2011 15:45

If she gets everything she asks for then she will act like a spoilt brat. Children do need to learn that sometimes they can't have things. Being mean I would have just said "No we are not buying a book today."

Actually at these book fairs my kids either spend hours trying to find anyhing they would like, or want somethin that isn't even really a book (kits, rubbers, KidFaxes).

Original poster
mommmmyof2 · 10/02/2011 15:47

Well yes mummy last book she bought from the school she read it once then lost it! I did mention that to her in her rage!

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 10/02/2011 15:47

YABU even the think about buying over priced books from the school!

littlebylittle · 10/02/2011 15:50

I say no to most things. We haven't got much spare cash and even if we had I wouldn't think it was a good idea. I don't think dd resents it, I try to say yes sometimes and she is very grateful for what she has. I can't have everything I want and I try to explain it in a kind way that accepts and understands her being upset for a bit if she especially wanted it.

Original poster
mommmmyof2 · 10/02/2011 15:53

My dd seems to be getting worse with age though, I don't want to say no to everything, and today was not my fault anyway but she does say things like 'you always say I can have things, then you never get them me' it does hurt sometimes.

I try my best but I don't want her to take things for granted either.

OP posts:
ConnorTraceptive · 10/02/2011 15:54

Our school has finally listened to popular opinion and stopped holding book sales. Yanbu.

Original poster
mommmmyof2 · 10/02/2011 15:59

Her school always seems to be doing things last minute anyway without notice, and that in itself is annoying!

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 10/02/2011 16:15

Wow, if you think you're mean then I must be the wicked witch of the west.

If I had been slightly swayed at all then the crying would have made it a definite no not the other way round. I can't stand histrionics.

I agree with doing your bit to support the school and have done all that but don't feel obliged to chuck money at them every time.

ENormaSnob · 10/02/2011 16:18

Yadnbu

LessNarkyPuffin · 10/02/2011 16:21

No means no and school booksales are a rip off.

JamieLeeCurtis · 10/02/2011 16:26

IME - they get a bee in their bonnet about something when they are in class - looking forward to it. They come out of school, tired, hungry and irrational, it's raining, and BANG - confrontation.

IME - 6 is the age when they start saying "mean" things. Try not to rise to it. You don't have to give in, but acknowledge her disappointment, stick a biscuit down her and get home quickly.

I used to really hate school pick up because of rattiness - it is getting better

Original poster
mommmmyof2 · 10/02/2011 16:53

She can be hurtful but I try to take it with a pinch of salt, glad now I never gave in and went back, people at the school are going to wonder what was wrong, I never shout normally at the school, can't believe she pushed me that far!

OP posts: