to want a job but have lost all confidence in even applying for one...

[superv1xen]

....and even the thought of working (should i get one) is scary.

i am 31 and have been out of the workplace since april 2006 when my eldest was born, and other than two (disastrous) attempts to return to work, one of which was 6 months training as a nurse (which i couldnt handle tbh) and 2 months working in customer services at weekends (which i quit because i didn't want to work weekends) i have done nothing work wise :(

i feel unemployable tbh. i am not that bright, i have gcse's and a levels but i passed them years ago before my brain turned to mush after the dc :( and the jobs i had from 18 - 26 i could never stick at and my CV is pretty patchy. i used to do office work, customer services, that kind of thing.

i actually don't really want to work but we desperately need the money sadly. i thought about starting a cleaning business (as, if theres one thing i am good at, its cleaning lol) but i don't think i could handle being self employed dealing with stuff like paying my own tax etc, then theres the start up costs and if i would even ever get any work.

i sound pathetic dont i? :(

oh and i haven't got a degree, i did start one when i left school but lasted only a year before getting bored and quitting.

there is nothing wrong with you and there are plenty of jobs out there.

Why dont you ring a local recruitment consultanct as see if they have some trainee positions.

If you are good at cleaning, give that a go.

If you join a good agency, they will find the clients, help you with any paperwork involved, and you'll be good to go.

Good luck!

i don't really want to do cleaning - its just that i know i'm good at it!

but i would do it, so yeah, maybe approaching an agency might be a start.

ideally i want to do office work but just can't see anyone employing me!

I think an agency would be your best bet and you can get office work through agencies as well Why not approach and say what you would bewillingto do. Once you have a bit more confidence through doing stuff with the agency you will feel better about life in general, the CV will look better.

Re starting your own business - get back in the workplace first - it is a big step to get used to going out to work again and can be a shock to the system esp planning all the rest of your life around new commitments. You can then look at going solo when the time is right.

Good luck

This is me a few weeks ago!!!

I completely and utterly sympathise. I finished A levels (good ones) and then had DD the following year. Done absolutely nothing work wise (am doing OU degree but until I qualify that means sod all it seems)

DH is only going to work PT - he's been off for ages waiting for surgery and it seems we will be better off with both of us PT.

I know I've no hope in hell of getting a job ATM and I've made my peace with that. So I've started volunteering! I have till training next week at a charity shop, so I'll be there once a week. At least then I'll be able to say I have retail experience.

I'm also getting a CRB in order to volunteer at my local SureStart centre and infant school.

This is all very worthy stuff but tbh it is very selfish of me... It's going to do wonders for my cv. Is there any way you could get some volunteering work somewhere? :)

You need the money, and you're confident you can do a good job with the cleaning. You'll sail through the interview. I think you'll soon build up a name for yourself and get some good references under your belt, for a possible later change to office work.

Oh please don't be so hard on yourself! Why not think about something you actually like doing, if you like something there's more chance that you'll stick with it.
Throw yourself into work and it'll feel like you never left
Good Luck!

thanks for all the positive suggestions and replies :)

re the volunteering freudian i already do a bit, i am a parent governor at my eldest's school and have also been on the parent's committee at a sure start centre (although both roles basically seem to involve sitting in meetings, eating biscuits and nodding occasionally ;) )

also, because i haven't really got any many relevant qualifications, i will only be able to get minimum wage work, being realistic, and then most of that would probably be eaten up in childcare anyway :(

Ah but round here (Midlands) good cleaners earn £10 an hour, so that may well be the bext option in the short term.

How about this for a plan (though I don't know how many days a week you have free?)

1. Get some cleaning work 2 days per week (most people want cleaners Thurs/Fri) Advertise in all the local newsagents etc or contact agencies.

1. Do a course, any course, 1 day a week - computer skills, book-keeping, phone skills etc Anything. Will get you out of the house, broaden your horizons and look to employers like you are serious about updating your skills. Learndirect offer good stuff for SAHMs returning to work.

1. Volunteer in a charity doing an admin role - most will bit your hand off! even if stuffing envelopes or photocopying you will gain invaluable experience, self-esteem and friends. Also opportunities often arise and charities can't afford to advertise widely so you may see job adverts you don't usually see!

Good luck!

I meant bite your hand off, of course

It is disheartening isn't it. I am resigned to the fact that until I've qualified as a teacher (at least another 4 years) I will only be able to do low level retail or office work - neither of which I have experience in ATM!

Re: SureStart - my local ones are desperate for volunteers to do reception/admin/phone-manning (hoping they'll let me do it soon) - is that something you could offer to do? That'll build up your repertoire a bit. Or manning the toy/parenting book libraries? Anything that involves these skills of organisation etc.

well i have decided to bite the bullet and place an ad as a cleaner, will have to see what comes of it :)