Bus bother! Twice in one day!

[LifeIsButtercream]

I went to town yesterday with my 21m old daughter in her compact buggy (old-style M&P Luna). The buses near us have one one buggy spot, fits one buggy comfortably or two at a squeeze. Don't get me wrong if I was on there with DD and a mum with a newborn was boarding I would whip DD out of the buggy and fold up to make room as we are more able to do that then they are, and we always squeeze up to make room if other buggys get on.

On way into town we started off as the only buggy on the bus, about halfway there another buggy boarded, so I stood up and tucked DD's buggy behind the bendy pole with the bell on for wheelchair users to allow them to fit. We got to town and I asked if they could move their buggy so I could get past, the response I got was "No, we're not getting off yet so I'm not moving my buggy, you'll have to manage" - I was a bit taken aback, but fortunately a kind young man helped lift DD's buggy so it would fit past the pole and we could get off.

Ok, bad luck I thought, encountering a rather rude woman, but we can't all be helpful, move on.

On way home, we were waiting at bus station, DD was asleep at this point, we waited in the queue behind a mum with a little boy, about 4yrs old at a guess. We go to get on board, this little lad goes and sits on the middle of the three fold-up seats in the buggy area, his mum goes further back and sits a few rows away. I roll the buggy on and ask the lad gently whether I could park my buggy in its space. He shakes his head. I ask his mum, in a friendly way, if I could please use the buggy space (I was tired and rain-soaked by this point), she says "No, he likes to sit there and he was there first" - I appealled to her along the lines of it was the only space where I could fit my buggy and DD was sleeping, I'd have to get off, she again says no, he wants to sit there.

So, off me and DD get off, driver shrugs and shakes his head when I ask if I could tuck in as best I could in the wider aisle at the front. Luckily I had a day pass so hadn't paid extra. And to rub salt in it, as the bus doors close and it pulls away, the lad gets up and runs to sit by his mum.

AIBU in thinking this was possibly the shittest day EVER on the buses?

Wow how did you manage to remain polite! Some people are just arseholes. Have a nice glass of wine and next time tell them to get the hell out of the way!!

YANBU - I am open mouthed at the people you encountered! What utter selfish twats. Those fold seats are specifically for people in need (obviously wheelchair users first) and you had a need to use that space. How can anyone think their child is more important - idiotic bint! As for you'll have to manage woman - cow!

I dont think I would have been quite so tolerant!! You must have the patience of a saint!

Sorry - never did buggies and buses, but I cannot understand why you got off? Could you just not sit down and leave buggy next to you in the aisle and if anyone complained point out that the boy was taking up the buggy parking space? Or am I just belligerent and you are very accommodating a mild-mannered?

I'm astounded at how polite you are.
Or perhaps I'm a loud mouthed bitch

The 1st one, I'd have got cross with & as for the 2nd.

Why are people such selfish fuckers though?

Years ago I got on our local bus with tiny baby & toddler. Some woman with a 4 year old kid (I knew as at the same toddler group) was sat at the back of the bus with her kid. She wouldn;t fold down her buggy that the kids WASN'T sat in, so I had to struggle to fold down my buggy, holding a 6 week old baby & I was still recovering from a section. I still give the woman evils to this day

6 week old baby is nearly 9.

TImes have certainly changed since I was a kid. Back then, you sat your child on your own knee if adults needed seats, or if the child was a bit older, you told them to stand so an adult could sit down. :(

Public transport seems to bring out the worst in some people.

We live near Kingston, and a woman was badly beaten by some thug, not too long ago, all because their pushchairs touched. So it is understandable when people do back down rather than risk coming up against some violent nutter.

www.kingstonguardian.co.uk/news/8413748.Disabled_mum_assaulted_on_packed_Kingston_bus/

kids is a new one usually its old people here
One day I was on the bus (there was plenty of empty seats) a lady with loads of shopping sitting just beyond the buggy part was told by two old dears to get up she was like and told them to bugger off she paid for her seat they didnt

in both cases you should have asked the driver to deal with it,

its mothers liek this get us ALL a bad name for being inconsiderate and PFB even when we aren't

Bubble - that is such a disturbing link - truly awful!

Lurkey - are those seats not for the elderly?

I would have tried to focus on enjoying the moral high ground on the first bus, and refused to get off the second. Some people are selfish, ill-mannered bastards.

Sadly BOTG, that is not an unusual occurance, that one is more severe than most, which is why it made the news, but I never feel too safe on buses round here.

My FIL was a bus driver for a while and he was assaulted twice.

Being on a bus when the kids come out of school is absolutely horrendous and to be avoided at all costs. The language and behaviour of most of them is feral.

Hello all - sorry the housework fairies required my attention!

I admit I was a bit weak, especially on the second bus - I was tired and exasperated and very much not in the mood for a dispute so I thought 'sod it' and hopped off, we were outside a newsie anyway, so bought some chocolate (cloud, meet silver lining).

On the first bus the young man offered to help me before I'd even had chance to digest what the buggy owner had said. Re-reading my post I do sound like a bit of a push-over lol!

does sound absolutely dreadful - BTW you were waaaay too polite to these nightmares.

for the first one who wouldn't move their buggy I would have made a scene I'm afraid. How bloody rude & inconsiderate!

Re the 2nd one I would have gone to the driver - they are fold up chairs and the area is for A wheelchairs, B buggies C other comers.

YANBU but I would have stood my ground in the second instance, created a fuss and held the bus up if need be. Boy is that kid gonna grow up with a sense of a entitlement.

YAdefinatelyNBU

I'm shocked the bus driver didn't tell him to move - here if there's someone in those seats and a buggy gets on they do

And at that woman refusing to move, I'm always really greatfull when someone does what you do... but then people here rarely do it, and will never ask their DC to get out/sit on a seat and fold their buggies if someone with a baby (as opposed to their toddler/walking child) gets on, which drove me mental when DS was tiny

People are twunts aren't they :(

oh dear.i have just had dd and was planning on using the bus at least once a week and deliberately bought a small compact pushchair to do so,i was planning on sussing out the quiet times.If thats the attitude of people i will be constantly rowing cos unlike you op i am very gobby assertive.
What a shame its come to this tho,when i was pg i almost felt that people deliberatly let doors slam in my face or pushed past me,very sad that we cant all be nice to each other and help out.

outrageous. And i've noticed that with Kingston buses too, Bubble'.(rudeness, not violence though doesn't surprise me) First time in 16 yrs or so that i've started ditching car and taking buses..i know realise why i NEED my car!! I got yelled at recently for having too large shopping bags. I wasnt blocking anyone/anything. Hmmm is there a new rule where you can't go shopping via bus? all this talk of trying to get people to be more green!
The second woman is asking for trouble..the child will be an absolute nightmare for always getting own way..she'll get her karma when he hits puberty!

They tend to have abandoned the luggage areas now in favour of wheelchair spaces anyway, so often there's nowhere else to put the shopping.

I got off two stops early today so that another mum with a buggy could get on. Quite enjoyed the walk back, so wasn't all bad :)

YA Sooo NBU!

Taking a pram, buggy or small child on a bus certainly strengthens your nerve in the long term.

The worst I experienced was 12 years ago when DD1 was a baby: the bus was almost empty apart from this huge dog spread out in the buggy space - I mean really spread out, lying on the floor, tail in the aisle, paws everywhere - and his owner in the seat reserved for the parent or someone accompanying a wheelchair user. I got the pram onto the bus but couldn't get to the buggy space, so asked politely if he could move his dog 'no, he was here first' was the answer. So I tried to manoeuver the pram round anyway (it was a large buggy space, just that the dog was spread across it, ie there was room for both of us if the dog sat up) and, unsurprisingly, a pram wheel caught the edge of the dog's tail. Dog hardly reacts but owner goes ballistic.

The bus driver then gives me hell for causing trouble!

By the way, where we live dogs are allowed on buses on the condition that they wear a muzzle and don't get in the way of wheelchairs and prams. I made an official complaint afterwards and got an apology from the bus company (because the driver had not supported me). But it still rankled. So yes, do complain for the driver not stepping in to support you - the more women do this, the more the bus company is likely to take it seriously.

Gosh OP, where on earth are you catching your buses?

I live in London [which is hardly renowned for the most polite or tolerant commuters] and have never encountered such rude and ill-mannered people as you have had the misfortune to run into today

I also have an old M & P Luna and frequently catch buses around London with 22 month old son. I have generally found fellow travellers [with and without pushchairs] to be very accomodating. Those with pushchairs are perhaps particularly accomodating, I think as we are able to empathise with how exhausting it can be being crammed on a packed bus and trying to manouevre a pushchair into the buggy space without running over anyone's foot or bumping into a seated tutting pensioner.

I really feel for you today. I would have been quite irritated with the selfishness of the people you described and probably would have said something to them about being reasonable and sharing the space available. If the bus driver had refused to back me up I think I would have taken his name and number and made a complaint to the bus company.

But then this is what 12 years of London commuting does to you, it makes you bolshy and argumentative [otherwise you get walked all over ] And to think I used to be a laid back Brisbanite...

The second woman was appalling. And if the child was as young as you saif then she wouldn't have even paid for him so he wasn't entitled to a seat. Driver should have made her move him.