Namechanged for this. DH and I own a house together, in which we live. We moved in a few months ago (when DS was a newborn).
We still own my flat (which was mine before I met DH, and which we are currently renovating with a view to renting it out). Flat has 2 beds and a lounge/dining room, plus small kitchen and bathroom, no outdoor space. House is much larger - 4 beds, larger lounge, dining kitchen, 2 bathrooms, garden. Flat is in the city centre and the house is in a "nappy valley" part of South London, I suppose it's suburbia really.
Thing is, I HATE living in the house. I keep comparing it to the flat and it just comes up second in everything.
I had a great life in the flat - it was in an area with a really buzzy atmosphere, really convenient for seeing my friends, for going to my church and for my family to come and visit me. DH had a commute that took half the time.
We moved out because we thought it would be better to have a house with more space, and a garden for the baby to play in. I thought we needed to be in an area with lots of mother and baby groups, family friendly places, nice organic butcher - all those sorts of things. The area where we live has all this in abundance. Looking back, I realise that I bought the house with this idealised image of motherhood in mind - my baby would be playing on the lawn in dappled shade, while I was in the kitchen making homemade jam (with homegrown raspberries, naturally) and whipping up a batch of cupcakes while a nice organic joint roasted in the oven to be ready when DH came home.
The reality is that my life is a tad different.
I never get to see my friends anymore - DH doesn't get home till nearly 9pm, so by the time he's home and could look after DS, it's too late to go out (by the time I could get into town). I can't stand baby groups. I don't like my NCT group and have dropped out of the meet ups.
I hardly ever go in the garden, I don't have time to garden it and I certainly don't have time to relax in it (I was really looking forward to having a garden, but we have to pay a gardener to stop it going feral).
It's more dfficult for my family to visit us here (although TBH my mother could make more effort - she is difficult at the best of times - she could visit more if she wanted to).
The ONLY advantage to the house is that we have more space. DH likes this. I would cheeerfully throw away 90% of what I own to go back to the flat.
I know my life wouldn't be the same as it was pre-baby even if we were still in the flat. But I just feel that in moving to the house I have given up loads of stuff I really enjoyed but in return I haven't really got any of the advantages that I was expecting. I also feel that DH isn't really experiencing the disadvantages of the location, as he's at work all day.
DH won't entertain my suggestion that we move back to the flat and rent out the house instead (so if we change our mind when DS is older, we could still come back here). He wants the extra space. I think it's unfair to expect me to stay in an area where I am really unhappy just so we can have a spare room.
AIBU to want to move back to town and rent out the house?