Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To become Catholic in order to ensure decent schooling?

92 replies

catholicschool · 10/02/2011 10:04

dcs both attend Catholic schools and we are a christian family and attend a CofE church.

youngest son is in year 1 and we want him to go to Catholic secondary but that is only guaranteed if he is Catholic Hmm

I now have a dilemma. I am baptised Catholic and am strongly tempted to take youngest son over to the Catholic faith and part of that would be to ensure he gets into the school that his brother currently attends.

I was thinking of returning to the Catholic faith last year after the Pope visited the UK and it inspired me to consider it.

I know I will probably be flamed for this but the only decent schools in our area are Catholic and it's not as though we're atheists who are just planning to pretend to be something we're not iyswim.

I love the fact that our children are receiving a christian based education and that can only be found in Catholic schools as the state secondary schools are secular.

OP posts:
Fayrazzled · 10/02/2011 11:16

teddymum makes a good point: if the outstanding secondary school was CofE would you still be considering reverting to your Catholic faith and having the children baptised Catholics? If the answer is yes, then you have no worries. But if the answer is no, then you are only doing it to get your children into the school which is hypocritical IMO and means a child from a genuine Catholic family may lose out.

cantspel, the Catholic schools in my area do not have 30% non-Catholics. Catholic children have priority and only when places have been allocated are non-Catholics admitted. there is no quota.

faeriefruitcake · 10/02/2011 11:19

A lot of Catholics may question Transub but it is still a central part of the faith or has the papacy changed their minds on that.

JoanofArgos · 10/02/2011 11:21

Sure, Litchick, but I suppose the point I'm making is that if you were going to get annoyed by lots of Catholicy stuff, you'd be wrong to think there wouldn't be much of it to get annoyed by, that's all.

Ariesgirl · 10/02/2011 11:22

Someone said "you have to do what you have to do in order for your children to get the best eduction possible". To me this sums up what is wrong with many people and education system in this country. So it's alright if YOUR kids have the best education possible? Fuck everyone else! How selfish can you get! And just how far would you go?

Timeforabiscuit · 10/02/2011 11:28

I'm a former catholic, facing same issue (best schools catholic) but with a key diffence I don't want my children to have a secular education, if you want that education for your child I think you should commit to it.

Its not as if catholisim comes with no strings attached - there are parts with are distinctly uncomfortable (Condoms? post rape abortion? anything involving females).

The RE part of curriculum maybe very narrow, sex education and some parts of the science curriculum curtalied - It depends what you think an education for your child means

If you want that education for your child you should be free to make that choice,

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/02/2011 11:29

Ariesgirl, yes, to me it is right that my DD gets a good education. I will say fuck everyone else and I am going as far as leaving my DH to return to England for her to take up a place at a catholic primary school.
Kill me.

Timeforabiscuit · 10/02/2011 11:29

*with = which

cantspel · 10/02/2011 11:30

Fayrazzled the 30% is the national figure so will differ between individual schools.

People seem to have some odd ideas about catholic schools. It is not just catholic children being taught by catholic teachers.

breatheslowly · 10/02/2011 11:32

"Normal" state schools are obliged by law to have a daily act of Christian worship. I think you should send your DC to a "normal" state school and insist on them fulfilling their duty to provide daily worship. Just think of the number of children whose lives you would change by providing them with exposure to Christianity. Or is it just about your DC?

Guildenstern · 10/02/2011 11:34

If you want to be a Catholic, fair enough.

If you don't want to be a Catholic and are just doing it for the school, then YABU.

I cannot understand how people think it's a good idea to teach their children that lying their way into a good school is the way to go. Surely you are just teaching the kids that the end justifies the means - that any amount of deception and hypocrisy is ok providing it leads to something you really want?

That is not a message I would would want my kids to learn. I would rather move house / move country / home educate.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/02/2011 11:38

I should add to my post, DH and DD are both RC I am an atheist, but the best school for DD to attend for senior education is catholic. To ensure that she is admitted, she needs to attend a feeder school. We even bought a house in the catchment area.
Kill me again.

lalalonglegs · 10/02/2011 11:40

Certainly in the area of London in which I live, the Catholic schools are entirely Catholic. There may be a requirement to admit other faiths but, as priority is given to Catholic families attending mass at the churches attached to each individual school, these requirements are never met: even being Catholic is not enough to get your child into a particular school, you have to have been seen to have attended the right church on a weekly basis.

I would also be very Hmm about your chances of getting your child into an oversubscribed Catholic secondary school - the main ones in London, boys' schools in particular, disriminate against children who were baptised into the Catholic faith after the age of one, in some cases, after the age of 6 months. I'd do your research before your son converts.

Original poster
catholicschool · 10/02/2011 11:45

Normal state schools don't have a daily act of worship Hmm and there is no way at all the two that I know would ever entertain the idea despite protestations by me and dh! We'd be laughed and sneered at. Christianity isn't held in very high regard these days which is why I am over the moon that I managed to get my two children into the Catholic schools that they attend at the moment.

If the secondary school was an outstanding CofE I would still have sent them to a Catholic school because from what I have seen there is very little faith content in the CofE schools.

OP posts:
goingroundthebend4 · 10/02/2011 11:46

well my daughter attends a cof E primary school and she is not baptised and were not relgious family and i had to fight to get her in to it .

in the end i won as it is the only school here to go to, other options thats non relgious is over 3 miles away and i argued and appealed that 98% of the pupils don`t even live locally so i really did not care if it meant a child taht was baptised could not attend .Shrug their parents fight not mine

.Oh and the school are fully aware that i wont be attending church services though if my daughters taking apart yes will go to support her and there aware theres no relgious teaching sharing at home to

She started this SeptemberSmile

cantspel · 10/02/2011 11:46

ah but it is usually those who are baptised over one who are doing it to get the certificate to put their names down for catholic primary.

It is usual for catholics to bapise a baby quite quickly after birth so it is a good indicator that people are playing the system.

vintageteacups · 10/02/2011 11:56

Normal state schools don't have a daily act of worship

Think you'll find they do. Our C of E does and I thought that all CofE schools did?

Or did you mean normal as in non-faith schools?

goingroundthebend4 · 10/02/2011 12:06

hmm where we live all primarys do tahst broadly christian they did try to ask about secondry but after ds school wrote to parents they informed the council that they will not be offering a braodly christian daily act of worship

Original poster
catholicschool · 10/02/2011 12:07

I mean 'normal'as in non faith. Neither of the previous schools had any act of worship whatsoever and abandoned a traditional Christmas celebration several years ago.

OP posts:
TheButterflyCollector · 10/02/2011 12:09

"Ariesgirl, yes, to me it is right that my DD gets a good education. I will say fuck everyone else...
Kill me."

That sums it up pretty comprehensively for me too, Kreecher. Which one of us would Ariesgirl like to shoot first, I wonder? :)

lalalonglegs · 10/02/2011 12:11

Exactly cantspel, therefore, if catholicschool decides to get her Y1 (6yo) son baptised at this stage, it's very unlikely to do the job on an admissions board who are taking this sort of thing into account. Also, she will be under pressure to be confirmed a Catholic herself (if she has not already been) in order for the baptism to take place. I have friends who send their sons to Brompton Oratory and Wimbledon College and they are genuinely observant but also had to jump through hoops and sign up for lay roles within their parish in order to gain extra "points" on their sons' applications. Faith really has been commodified for those with high school-aged children Hmm.

Original poster
catholicschool · 10/02/2011 12:12

My youngest son has already been baptised in the CofE church so he can't be baptised Catholic now.

OP posts:
rathlin · 10/02/2011 12:13

I thought you were baptised a Christian rather than a Catholic or Protestant?

In any case YABU, I am a practising Catholic, my son is being raised a Catholic and I want him to go to a Catholic school. It's going to be hard enough to get him into the school (being Catholic is the easy part) - you are being very unCatholic by essentially switching your son's faith just to get him into a school and robbing a place from a Catholic child. Shame on you!

Original poster
catholicschool · 10/02/2011 12:14

I don't live in a high density area so the competition for places isn't fierce. There is another very good secondary school within 2 miles and that attracts most of the parents to send their children there.

OP posts:
cantspel · 10/02/2011 12:19

My sons catholic primary acted as a feeder to 2 catholic secondary schools. The first and and largest of the 2 required a from signed by the our priest confirming attendance at mass and any other input into the church community. the other didn't rquire the form. In the end we went for the second school just because the first is massive (around 2000 pupils) where as the other has under 700.
Demand for both schools is very high and even being a practising catholic doesn't mean your child will get in.

lalalonglegs · 10/02/2011 12:19

I think, you can be baptised into a different faith if you have already been baptised into another. It's one of the rites of acceptance into that church. How can you "guarantee" that he is Catholic otherwise? I was brought up Catholic and would not have been able to make my confession or later my communion unless I had been baptised first.

If you're right and he can't be subsequently baptised then you're stuffed really, aren't you, regardless of the ethics of having it done.