Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To wish some mums would just think a bit more?

45 replies

newbeemummy · 10/02/2011 09:22

I'm rather cross about this, but will try not to rant too much.

DD has recently been diagonsed with Impetigo, when we first noticed the spots we thought it may be Chicken Pox so we texted all the mums of the babies we'd seen that week to let them know, so once she was diagnosed with impetigo, we then texted them all again, to let them know.

It now turns out that one of the mums who attends one of the play groups didn't bother to tell anyone that her DS had imetigo (which she knew about at the time), and thinks it's such a coincidence that our DD caught it the same week as her DS (she was playing with him a few days before her spots started to show - when he already had it).

Anyway I get home last night and DD now has conjunctivitis, again another mum has decided to take her DD to a party with loads of other children, some as young as 4 weeks and let them spread this.

I appreciate kids will get ill and will pick things up from each other, I know it's all part opf growing up and developing their immune system.

But FFS how about either making the sensible choice and saying "my DD has XYZ, so we won't be attending" or at least tell the other parents so they can make the choice as to whether or not to expose their kids to it.

OP posts:

TiggyD · 10/02/2011 09:25

Taking a child with an infectious illness somewhere where they will infect other children is a lot like going up to children and slapping them in the face. It causes pain and distress to the children who get infected.

ReturnOfTheBoomBap · 10/02/2011 09:26

How do you know the other mum knew her child had conjuctivitis?

Original poster

newbeemummy · 10/02/2011 09:26

That's my view - but I thought I was maybe being old fashioned. surely if you're contagious, you stay away?

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/02/2011 09:27

Possibly the mums are a bit embarrassed. I know that is ridiculous but still, it could be.
Similarly with nits, why not let the school know so they can send a letter home.
although, touch wood, DD hasn't had nits since leaving her friendwithaslatternlymother last school.

Hassled · 10/02/2011 09:27

YANBU. Yes, everyone gets exposed to bugs and that's usually a good thing but if your child has a highly contagious infection then FFS keep them at home.

A boy in DS3's class was sick on the carpet during circle time one afternoon. The next morning he was back in school - and of course then loads of kids got ill. I realise he was probably carryinng the bug before he was actually sick, but I could barely speak to the parents for months - and of course didn't have the guts to actually confront them about it :o.

Original poster

newbeemummy · 10/02/2011 09:28

@ ReturnoftheBoomBap - the other mum knew as she told my DH when we left the party, I only found this out last night when I commented that I wondered where she'd got it from.

OP posts:

ReturnOfTheBoomBap · 10/02/2011 09:30

I think people are way too precious about this. Hassled, maybe the child seemed better that morning, the parent had to go to work and it seemed the best thing all round for him to be in school?

I wouldn't bring a child I knew was infectious or had a D&V bug to a party or send them to school, no, but I'll be damned if I am going to keep my kids indoors every time they have a minor ailment in case they breathe in the direction of someone else's PFB.

ostracized · 10/02/2011 09:34

I agree with you newbeemummy - when ds was a baby one of the mothers from my nct group came over with her daughter whom she claimed had recovered from a severe tummy bug involving diarrhoea. Her daughter didn't look very recovered as she spent the entire visit lying listlessly on her mother's knee. Sure enough ds caught it and we even ended up going to A & E as we were so worried about him pooing copious amounts of goo and being dehydrated. I rang the mother in question ostensibly to ask if ds's symptoms sounded like her dd's but in reality I thought she should know what had happened. Maybe arsey of me but I was really annoyed. Sometimes Mums are desperate to get out of the house and go to other people's houses for entertainment and I can understand that, but I suppose you have to know where to draw the line - cold might be ok depending, but infectious illness definitely not.

Suchffun · 10/02/2011 09:35

YANBU, some parents are idiots.

You'd have to be REALLY stupid to take a child to play with others, knowing that they had impetigo. The other mum is extremely selfish.

DH and I have three days holiday 'spare' between now and 2012, after covering school holidays, so I have a very small safety net for taking time off work with infectious children. I accept that infectious ilness is part of childhood but would be livid with someone being so careless. And I'm lucky - my children are in good health so it doesn't matter too much if they get ill, for children (and adults) with immune system problems, it can be a lot more serious.

CockularDepravity · 10/02/2011 09:37

YANBU. Some mothers really are just clueless, selfish simpletons.

bamboostalks · 10/02/2011 09:37

Well, NHS advice is not to keep them off school etc with conjunctivitis so it may be difficult to avoid this.

Daisypod · 10/02/2011 09:50

S&V really bugs me. Our school has a rule that they have to be away from school for 48 hours after the last bout but very few parents stick to this and lie just to get their child back in school. We have now had one go around nearly all the kids in school, activities and school trips have had to be cancelled as at any one time half the class has been off. From a selfish pov I am 6 months pregnant and I really do not want to be subjected to it. The worst bit was last weekend DD1 had a friend to stay the night and it was only the next day that we found out the night before her family had all had the S&V bug great so send your DD to my family for the night to infect my three kids and a pregnant lady!

Impetigo, S&V and conjunctivitis are horrible and difficult to manage, why people feel the need to inflict these things on others is beyond me.

Original poster

newbeemummy · 10/02/2011 09:53

Thank you all so much - I feel so much better for reading your posts.

I'm still annoyed, but at least I know I'm not being unreasonable. :)

OP posts:

slartybartfast · 10/02/2011 09:53

48 hours seems a bit extreme though. imo

24 hours may be

bumpsnowjustplump · 10/02/2011 09:58

My son has just had two very bad bouts of Conjunctivitis.. I didn't know it was Conjunctivitis until the second bout and took him to dr. I just assumed it was sticky eyes that he always gets with a cold. During that time he came with me to take dd to preschool and ballet

As far as I know i didn't pass it on and as soon as i knew what it was I was more careful but even so dd had to go to school so he still went out...

Impetigo, d&v and chicken pox is totally out of order though. I was stuck indoors for 4 blooming weeks when my two had chicken pox.. It was hard but we managed, no way would I risk passing that on!!

prettymuchapixiegirl · 10/02/2011 10:05

I think it's very selfish when parents take their children out and about if they have an infectious illness. We spent most of the Christmas holidays with a D&V bug going through our house, as a selfish family member insisted on going to another family member's house on Xmas day when she, her DH and kids had all had sickness and diahorrea all the previous week!

Another friend bought her DS round to play with green sticky eyes and said "Oh he's probably got conjunctivitis".

GeekLove · 10/02/2011 10:07

Sometimes though you might not know if your child is infectious if they are not obviously I'll. I took my son to a stay and play and he just lay down and cried - he only got measles symptoms two days later. I did notify the nursery and other people with smallmchildren when it was apparent.

bumpsnowjustplump · 10/02/2011 10:12

prettymuch i hope that wasn't me although I didn't know so wouldn't have said that...

curlymama · 10/02/2011 10:16

I don't think anyone would hold it a parent that genuinely didn't know their child was harbouring something infectious, and there are lots of cases where this will happen. Cp for example.

But when a parent knows their child had had d&v, or impetigo and then knowingly allows them to be in contact with other children, it is incredibly selfish. It's like thet really couldn't give a shit about anyone elses child, as long as their own child doesn't have to miss a party or playdate abd they can still get to work.

SenoritaViva · 10/02/2011 10:22

Bamboo - school is different as they can make a risk assessment e.g. impetigo, ensure they have own pencils etc. But I think with small babies, where hands, toys etc are uncontrolled/unaware is different.

I'd have been cross too. YABU

SenoritaViva · 10/02/2011 10:22

Whoops, YANBU!!!

lazylula · 10/02/2011 10:24

YANBU! I was at a tots group yesterday and a child came in and promptly threw up over the floor. The mum and nan cleaned the child up and the floor (just using kitchen roll mind, no water or anti bacterial spray ect) then tried to send the child off to play! They didn't even take her or themselves off to the bathroom to wash their hands! A friend approached the lady who runs the group and suggested it wasn't really wise that the child stayed and the leader did speak to the grandmother about leaving but they chose to stay! What was worse was they were allowing the child to coo over a very young baby! Worse still was by the end of the session the child was as white as a ghost, looked really poorly, had spent the whole time sitting being cuddled and still they kept her there! Very selfish in all ways if you ask me!

mamatomany · 10/02/2011 10:40

Our daughter caught impetigo and the GP said not to worry about keeping her off school, a bit of research on the internet said the opposite so we met in the middle and kept her off for 48 hours rather than until it had cleared up.
Maybe the HCP's are giving conflicting advice for a chance ?

SenoritaViva · 10/02/2011 10:48

lazylula that is disgusting! I would have actually complained to the leader that they did not insist on taking the child home.

lazylula · 10/02/2011 10:48

With Impertigo, the policy USED to be, once treatment had commenced they could return to school (5 years ago). This meant that once the first application of the cream had been applied it was fine. This has probably been changed now as I am sure it was the same for conjunctivitis, once drops had been applied it was fine but read the other day that no exclusion is now necessary (this is school recommendations by the way). Ds1's school was advising only 24 hrs abscence after the last bout of sickness/diarheoa (sp), I checked online and with friends and kept him off for the 48 hrs recommended everywhere else.

Flip

1 2