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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DS1's father to collect DS2 from school?

21 replies

Sharkadder · 09/02/2011 18:55

DS1 (9) and DS2 (4) go to the same school. DS1's biodad lives pretty much opposite the school, we live 5 mins away in the other direction. Decent relationship with DS's father; we broke up before DS was born so have had nearly 10 years to grow up iyswim. We have our moments but things are civil and he's nice to DS's brothers.

Aaaanyway, I really really want to go and see The King's Speech and as DH is away a daytime is my best bet. The local cinema (also 5 mins away), is showing it at 1.25 daily - it'll finish at 3.38, making me 8 minutes late (well, 15 with walking time), to collect the DCs.

BUT DS1 goes to his father's on Thursdays and he takes work from home day and collects him. AIBU to ask him to collect DS2 too and take him to his for ten minutes?

OP posts:
taintedpaint · 09/02/2011 18:57

Well, you could ask, but you have no right to argue if he says no, even if it's just because he doesn't want to.

Would it disrupt his time with his DS if you were to arrive to collect one and not the other? Ie, would DS1 chuck a wobbly?

Can't decide if YABU or not....

Original poster
Sharkadder · 09/02/2011 18:58

(I have considered saying I am held up at a doctor's appointment but that would be bad, yes?)

OP posts:
Grabaspoon · 09/02/2011 18:59

Can a friend not have him over for tea?

Original poster
Sharkadder · 09/02/2011 18:59

Nah, DS1 would love it. He enjoys his Thursdays and when we've all been at his father's in the past has liked showing off his stuff to DS2.

Totally agree I couldn't say anything other than oh okay then if he said no, but is even asking massively cheeky? Not like it's an emergency or anything (and no, not planning to lie, just crossed my mind!)

OP posts:
AlfalfaMum · 09/02/2011 19:00

10 minutes? Nah.
If it was hours and the father was trying to get his work done it might be a bit annoying for him, but 10 minutes is nothing.
I'm dieing to see The King's Speech, take any chance you can get Envy

Olessaty · 09/02/2011 19:01

I would be honest and ask him outright. For only ten minutes with no real inconvenience, I could only see him saying no if he's being particularly difficult. I'd do it for my ex if he asked, and indeed have asked my ex and his girlfriend for help in the past.

eviscerateyourmemory · 09/02/2011 19:01

I think it would be OK to ask, as long as you would understand if he said no.

Its the sort of favour that it would be reasonable to ask a friend to do for you, IMO, so if you have an OK relationship with DS father, then would be OK to ask.

gobehindabushfgs · 09/02/2011 19:01

Depends on your relationship, but if I were him I wouldn't want to set the precedent - it isn't a vital appointment, you just want to go to the cinema and it clashes with pick-up time. From your ex's point of view, what's to stop this being the thin end of the wedge?

You can only ask though. He'll either mind or he won't.

Original poster
Sharkadder · 09/02/2011 19:02

Grabaspoon, could ask, but all DS2's good friends are still on half days and it seems like overkill for ten minutes. Could ask someone to hang on to him for ten minutes in the playground I suppose. Or could always leave the cinema ten minutes early but I am guessing that would be the most important ten minutes of the film!

OP posts:
Fontsnob · 09/02/2011 19:06

My DH would do it if his exp asked. So I think it's worth asking.

IWantToBeAFairyWhenIGrowUp · 09/02/2011 19:07

Just ask him, he's most likely to say yes if its for a short time, if not arrange if for an evening and go with a friend while your hubby looks after your kids.

I want to see that film as well so hope he says yes for you. Smile

GORGEOUSX · 09/02/2011 19:12

YANBU - but definitely don't lie. Anything could happen.

Original poster
Sharkadder · 09/02/2011 19:16

I won't lie - we met through a shared interest in cinema originally so hopefully he'll understand??

OP posts:
mamas12 · 09/02/2011 19:18

I would say would you mind hanging around the school gates for ten minutes to watch out for xxx on wed because could be a little late.
No need to explain anything else about where you are going or doing.
You never know he could say pick him up from his.

FabbyChic · 09/02/2011 19:20

Ask him now before its too late!

activate · 09/02/2011 19:20

ask

doubt he'd say no for 15 mins

Original poster
Sharkadder · 09/02/2011 19:21

Have emailed him, fingers crossed!

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 09/02/2011 19:28

I would ask but make it clear i understand if he doesn't want to.

I get on well with my ex mil who collects DD1 from school to go to her dad every other weekend, DD2 has just started same school and I would think nothing of asking her to grab them both if I needed to and I'm pretty sure she would (haven't needed to up until now).

Original poster
Sharkadder · 09/02/2011 23:07

He said yes, 'just this once'. Yay!

OP posts:
mumbar · 09/02/2011 23:15

Glad he said yes. I asked x-p girlfriend (of only 5 months at the time) to watch DS for me whilst I popped to shop for milk.

Now his DW and better with DS than he is. Grin

kittybuttoon · 09/02/2011 23:29

That's nice, OP - enjoy the movie. I hear it's really good!

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