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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want my own car!

15 replies

angelicapickles · 09/02/2011 17:44

I'm just about to take my driving test (10 years after first starting to learn!) and DH has a massive 4x4..

Not trying to start a 4x4 war here (I actually love it - especially when it snowed!) but I just do not feel comfortable driving it.

DH has said that as he gets the train to work, I can just use that car to get around in during the week.

I'm only going to be taking my 3 month DD to baby groups / shopping etc so I asked DH if we couldn't just get me a little runaround,

A) so I could practice in it a bit in these 2 weeks before my test (4x4 is automatic and practice is not really beneficial!)

B) so I could feel comfortable driving around - I just think with that massive beast of a car I'll end up staying in rather than driving it.

DH says he needs his car for weekends... Dogs / golf etc, and that a car for me would be double insurance / tax / parking permit.

So... AIBU? My maternity leave pay has just taken a massive nosedive so it would be him primarily paying for it - but then I do raise his child! Lol

OP posts:

MrSpoc · 09/02/2011 17:46

if you can afford it as a family then buy one.

A kia picanto is only group insurance, £30 per year for tax and very fuel efficiant. Not much extra cost involed.

taintedpaint · 09/02/2011 17:48

I hate 4x4s, partially for the reasons you state, but it doesn't sound like it makes sense to get another car with your current set up.

Does DH need a 4x4? I ask because I'm wondering if you could sell that and get a car you would both be comfortable driving.

Original poster

angelicapickles · 09/02/2011 17:54

He claims he needs it. It's a daily fight I will never win...

He is glued to it at weekends in fairness... And it fits dogs / pram / shopping / golf clubs / stuff to dump...

I just think I will never drive it! I'm so excited to finally be able to drive my baby around, go to groups that are too far to walk to, get a bit of freedom, but DH only repeats 'you'll get used to it'

Yeah, I won't.

OP posts:

lurkerspeaks · 09/02/2011 18:16

You will get used to it.....everyone who drives an articulated lorry had just passed their driving test once!

However another few things to think about - Is he precious about it? ie. will he whinge if you ding it (you will at some point, for instance I kerbed my alloy's parking last night and i've been driving for rather a long time....)

Will you need a second car at weekends?

Are you intending to go back to work? Do you need a second car to enable this?

Violethill · 09/02/2011 18:20

Well... you would get used to it, but I think 4x4s are massive, anti-environment and anti-social beasts, so I can't in all honestly say you should try to!!

I think lurker's point is sensible. Will you be using a car for driving to work after your ML? If so, you can reasonably finance a small car out of your earnings. If you;re not going to be working, then you don't really need a car, and its a bit much to expect another one if there's a perfectly good one sitting at home.

scurryfunge · 09/02/2011 18:24

Could you sell the 4x4 and but an estate instead so you can still get dogs and prams in?

scurryfunge · 09/02/2011 18:24

buy, not but

curlymama · 09/02/2011 18:25

I think you should try to get used to it. If when you've passed your test, you give it a proper go and really don't like it, then have the discussion with him again. You really should try first though.

If you try, and still want your own car and he won't be convinced, bump into a post somewhere accidentally on purpose, and make him see that it would be much better and less expensive for you to have your own little car.

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 09/02/2011 20:35

YANBU - if you're not confident driving it then something has to change...

What could you get? That's quite exciting!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 09/02/2011 21:00

I eventually managed to get a little Clio to drive around in and my driving has improved so much now I get lots of practice. We had a Megane which was quite wide and generally made me really nervous.

If you can afford it (even for a short while) then do it. I would try to drive the 4x4 at weekends etc so you can get more familiar with it.

Previously, I felt sick even thinking about driving, shook with nerves and my legs were so wobbly it was tricky driving the Megane. Now, I'm all over town picking up my freecycle items. I still prefer familiar areas and am rubbish as parking (to be improved!) but I'll happily drive without too much worry. It was the best thing we did and I'm keen to keep my car even though it's tight financially to fund it.

COCKadoodledooo · 09/02/2011 21:01

Buy a Morris Minor! No road tax, next to nothing for the insurance.

If you're too scared to drive the car you have access too, well what's the point in taking your test? Can you sell it to dh like that?

COCKadoodledooo · 09/02/2011 21:02

That's YANBU btw!

CockularDepravity · 09/02/2011 21:12

You and your child will be far safer in the 4x4 than a little runaround. Food for thought.

zest01 · 09/02/2011 21:20

Yabu, as you are expecting him to pay for a second car when one is already sitting on the drive.

We only need and therefore only run one car. As we are a big family, it is a big car and it took me a while to get used to it, but that's just how it is, and I'm fine in it now.

FakePlasticTrees · 09/02/2011 21:27

Well, if you won't need a car at the weekends, and you can't really afford another car, then it seems pointless buying another. I think i'd be nervous driving a big 4x4 too, I passed my test 12 years ago but have only driven little, cheap cars. However, you will get used to it - no one learns to drive in a 4x4 - so at some point everyone who drives one had to have a 'first drive' in a big car.

Perhaps give it a month after passing your test and if you hate driving it then talk again. Oh, and get your DH to agree to go out with you in the car several times so you're not having a first drive in it on your own.

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