A close family member with four very young children has a mercurial and unpredictable husband; he expects everything in the family to be done his way; he makes decisions about what they're doing and repeatedly changes his mind at a moment's notice; he has dragged her pretty much against her will to a tropical country where he refuses to allow any of the family to use modern medicine including antibiotics to the extent that she fears for the children if they so much as graze their knee; he promises help around the house and rarely delivers; it seems he is out shagging other women back in their tropical idyll. If he feels he is not getting his own way in any matter he takes to his bed for ten days at a time and requires nursing, for want of a better word.
My relative has changed so much in the last few years, has lost her trust in her extended family and has become very hardened and judgmental. Quite a lot of this is probably due to tiredness tbh, but there is no respite in sight for her.
At what point does living with a person with mental illness become too much in your opinion? Do you think it's an individual decision about when "love and honour, in sickness and in health" becomes too much?
I feel that she is like a lobster put into cold water and had the heat gradually turned up over the years until she is now in utterly different water and has not noticed.
My question: what would you do? Should I just sit back and wait? I have tried to make clear that I am there for her no matter what but she has become very difficult to talk to about anything.