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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell DS' nursery that their gleaming reputation...

31 replies

mamadiva · 08/02/2011 17:15

is a pile of crap because they are nothing but a shower of useless incompetent buggers! sometimes?!!

DS is 4 and we put him into a nursery last year because it has a fantastic reputation and is very highly regarded in our area, last year he started his 1st year of funded and it was fine but since then they opened a larger building and he has been moved there for his 2nd year.

Now since moving to the new building I have noticed the place has gone seriously down hill and I am just getting so sick of it!

Problem 1. Crappy snacks -£21 for 3 months and everyday it is cereal or a biscuit
Problem 2. At christmas they got a shawdy one hour party with no santa, although he was at the door handing them a gift as they left their concert
Problem 3. Always asking for sponsored money stuff for trips, they have not left the nursery once but they did buy new toys for the baby room and some for them.
Problem 4. The main issue, last week DS went to nursery witha brand new hat on which got lost, nowhere to be found since. Today he went with the matching brand new scarf and gloves which have now dissapeared also. Along with his gym kit/bag and water bottle!

I am just so fecking sick of the place I am tempted to take hij out but I know he would miss it.

Sorry for droning but am so Angry

OP posts:
MrsRichardHammond · 08/02/2011 17:20

YABU in my opinion. Thats par for the course for a lot of nurseries. £21 for 3 months fees or 3 months of snacks? Either way thats not a bad price if he's there every day.

Yes all of the above IS a bit galling but it is normal for nursery and school - no matter how good the reputation or area etc.

But if you are THAT unhappy then do move him.

bubbleOseven · 08/02/2011 17:24

Problem 1 - YANBU - for £21 I'd expect a fruit or yoghurt snack. Would it be possible to provide your own snack?

Problem 2 - YABU - they had a party, a concert and a gift from Santa, what more do you want.

Problem 3 - YABU - sponsorship money is optional.

Problem 4 - YANBU - these missing items must be in nursery somewhere because you said he's never once been out - tell them you want them back, be insistent. I take it they've got name tags attached.

Ragwort · 08/02/2011 17:25

What sort of nursery is it? Is it a private one or voluntary run/attached to a school?

Things will always get lost at nurseries/schools - just don't send in 'new' or 'best' stuff.

YAB totally U to complain about a Christmas party; perhaps you could offer to go in and help if you feel you have some good ideas to share.

stealthsquiggle · 08/02/2011 17:26

I think it would take more than that to put me off a nursery, TBH (it must have been really great last year!)

gillybean2 · 08/02/2011 17:40

YABU

  1. £1.60 a day for snacks including drink. You can't actually get a lot for that. If they have prepared food someone has to go on a food heigen course in order to even cut up an apple. If you have other suggestions by all means put it to them. But a member of staff will be giving up their unpaid free time to go and buy those snacks and they have to store them.

  2. Do you know how much paperwork is involved in getting a police checked santa (or finding someone prepared to volunteer to do it!?) Maybe it's time to get yourself on the committee so you have half a clue! A santa at the door wouldn't require the same level of expense/paperwork as a grotto type santa. PLus some young children are actually terrified of santa. Much better to have him out in the open where everyone is fine and friendly about it then in some darkened grotto.

Do you know how many parents complain at having to come along to a xmas party? Do you realise that the staff give up their time and dont get paid for wrapping presents, organising a party etc And most of the staff (including the qualified and supervisors) are probably on minimum wage and doing training on top for which it's unlikely they get paid extra time for their hours doing that...

  1. The money they get for your 'free' hours will barely cover the cost of staff. Staff can not be paid from fund raising so all fundraising will go on new toys, xmas party/xmas gift and possibly outings. The actual amount received from fundraising is often minimal, no matter how hard you try. Why not come up with some new ideas if you think they need a boost in the direction.

  2. Were the lost clothing items clearly labeled with your ds's name? Where did you leave the hat - carefully zipped in his coat pocket or just hanging on a peg where it could easily get knocked off/put in another child's bag by mistake? God help you when he starts primary school and every item looks the same...
    Never ever send a child to nursery in new clothes. There is always the chance they will get lost, messy/ruined, damaged. If the gym bag was clearly labeled it should come back at some point hopefully. Probably picked up by someone else if it looked similar to their childs. And some children will be picked up by grandparents or child minder who may not know what is and isn't the childs and have to take their word for it or guess. Always put an identifying label (on the outside in BIG letters with permanent pen!)

You haven't mentioned once if your ds is happy there. If the staff are friendly and he is happy to go. If they take good care of him and he has fun while there...

By all means move your ds to another nursery if you are not happy. You'll find it will be similar I'm sure in regard to the points you have mentioned, which actually aren't the important points when choosing a nursery imo... Biscuit

purepurple · 08/02/2011 17:58

YABU for all the reasons listed above.
I work in a nursery and what you have described is nothing compared to what happens on a daily basis in most nurseries. For example a 4 year old today rolled up a sticker and put it in his ear. It had apparently disappeared and the member of staff tried looking with a torch and couldn't see it. The deputy manager (I kid you not) then said she would fish it out with a pair of tweezers. She was disuaded from doing this, and eventually listened to the voice of reason (me) and phoned his parents who came and collected him and took him to the GP. Luckily for us, the management are not very hands on.

gillybean2 · 08/02/2011 18:27

sorry my calculation above was off. £21 a quarter for snacks comes to £1.60 a week. So 32p a day...

What do you suggest they buy for that bearing in mind it needs to be bought in bulk and stored and can't involve any preparation unless they have a qualified member of staff there to do it each time (yes even just for cutting up an apple). Also anyone buying something like yoghurt would need to ensure it is stored at the recommended temperature between picking it up off the shelf, getting it to nursery and giving it to your child. And whoever buys the snacks is probably doing in on a voluntary basis in their own iunpaid free time

So other than biscuits or cereal you'll be suggesting...? And bearing in mind they provide a drink too which is usualy a choice of milk or water and if snack is cereal they need more milk too...

SecretSlattern · 08/02/2011 18:31

nice

TabithaTwitchet · 08/02/2011 18:37

YANBU about losing the clothes - but perhaps it isn't the nursery's fault.
Last year DD lost her brand new (expensive, mini boden) clearly named towelling hoodie at nursery. It wasn't anywhere to be found in the lost property box and never came back. I have a suspicion that one of the other parents might have snapped it up :(
And yes, maybe it was stupid of me to send her in a new item of clothing, but I bought it because it was so practical and ideal to wear at nursery, where she often got wet/sandy etc.

BeeBox · 08/02/2011 18:39

YABU. This is nursery life. The odd pair of lost gloves and biscuits for snacks - it's not exactly neglect, is it?

HappyMummyOfOne · 08/02/2011 18:41

Am actually Biscuit at your post OP.

So you get a free nursery place and the most you have to moan about is there is no santa! The free sessions dont even begin to cover the actual costs hence why they need to fundraise.

32p a day for snacks will hardly buy anything, send you own and dont pay if it means that much to you.

What will you do when its school, I am feeling sorry for the teachers already.

Original poster
mamadiva · 08/02/2011 19:13

Eight just to clarify yesafter speaking to DP I do think I have been unreasonable on some of it but I am just bloody annoyed with the constant gripes.

I realise that £21 is cheap that is not the issue but the fact that last year in the same nursery they got atleast a variation once or tweice a week. I would'nt care if they even got 1 piece if fruit a week or a slice of toast just so it's not the same thing every day! A few of the parents have complained about this. Again I know the girl who does this during her working hours and that is what she is told to buy.

WRT to christmas my main point is that they sent out a form asking for money FOR A CHRISTMAS TRIP which was going to cost £200 for all children to go to the cinema (I know 2 members of staff who work there) they receieved £432 but still never got a trip, and most of the toys purchased are in the baby building. Oh and the hour long 'party' was in normal hours even though there placement is 2 and a half hours.

I have offered to help on many an occassion (I have worked in childcare since leaving school) but they say they are not allowed to accept parental help because of disclosures which is fair enough.

Oh and it's a government funded place I am not just scrounging them for whatever reason

The lost clothing is understandable but it is the fact that this afternoon the girl huffed away because I asked her if she could have a look (not allowed in the building) when sveryone else had gone for the scarf and she said he hadnt had one on, even though I took him to the door with it on Hmm

I don't know I am going to college after the summer to gain my early years qualifications (qualified to work with older kids) but I hate tot hink of working somewhere that disorganised.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamadiva · 08/02/2011 19:14

Happy- dont feel sorr for anyone it's the fact that last year they were fantastic but this year after opening the 'super' building it has gone down hill a hell of a lot.

And a few people have tried to send snacks but nto allowed as other kids will be left out.

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 08/02/2011 20:18

The trip thing sounds Hmm, but I don't get why you would expect them to do a party outside normal hours.

Ragwort · 08/02/2011 21:11

I think your name says it all.

Original poster
mamadiva · 09/02/2011 07:43

I did'nt expect a party out of hours, I expected a half decent thing like last years.

Admittedly yes a bit stroppy but I really am just bloody dissappointed with the place, last year they were a lot smaller but were building a 'super centre' and since it has lowered the quality of everything there and it's not just me who has noticed.

Even a lot of the kids are bored because they don't get to do much anymore or go anywhere. To me that is not right. :(

I really don't get how it's stroppy to ask that once a week the kids get either a piece of fruit or a slice of toast instead of cereal and biscuit that they have had everyday since August.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamadiva · 09/02/2011 07:47

Ooh just re-read thing abotu party, it does loook like I wanted it out of hours.

No my thing about that was their place is for 2.5 hours but on the day of the party they were only allowed to be there for an hour and were told several times that santa was coming to seee them but he never showwed up. I would understand if they needed a disclosure but every year it is a staff member.

OP posts:
pleasechange · 09/02/2011 08:01

You are getting this service for free (ok bar the 32p or whatever a day for snacks!). I pay £1100 per month for my son's nursery. If you want better value for money then suggest you find somewhere else, even if that does mean you'd actually have to pay. Honestly from your gripes I don't know what the problem is.

And if they're only there for 2.5 hours a day, why would it really be necessary for them to be 'going out'? Can't you bring your child out afterwards? I really think your expectations are way too high

specialsmasher · 09/02/2011 08:05

YABU - your comment about their 'gleaming' reputation sounds disproportionately bitter.

pleasechange · 09/02/2011 08:08

Yes, maybe the gleaming reputation was actually related to the content of what they do with the children, curriculum based etc. You seem to be concentrated on peripheral issues you perceive rather than the actual core reason your child is at the nursery. It sounds like you were expecting some luxury, all frills-attached activity session every day

Original poster
mamadiva · 09/02/2011 08:23

Look I have already said I was being unreasonable on some parts but WRT the funded session everyone is entitled to it as he will be starting school in August.

The reason I am not happy with the not going out is because we are repeatedly asked to fundraise for trips out (which I don't have an issue with) but it's the fact of the 6 times we have raised money they have spent the money on another part of the nursery.

That was a big part of the reason why I sent him there they did a lot with the kids to start with as there is a park round the corner and shops etc they used to do that and we were told we would have to pay £2 a week for swimming lessons with them which is fine but although we have been asked for and handed over the money they have nmever actually gone.

My miain issue with the place is that they promise a lot and don't deliver like I said I know atleast 3 other kids who say they are bored because the teachers don't do anything except drawing and lego every single day since last August. Hmm

And about paying for it, I did initially send DS there full time last hyear but lost my job so cannot afford to do that now and if I could I would'nt because of how they are now.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 09/02/2011 08:32

Wait til your ds starts school - this will all pale into insignificance Grin

MissyMorrison87 · 09/02/2011 08:36

I think the whole point the Op is try to get across is that the nursery was fantastic before they don't god knows how much on a new building, meaning now the quality has suffered. Plus the fact that they send letTrrs out asking for donations SPECIFICALLY FOR DAYS OUT then the money gets spent elsewhere. Add the fact that property is FREQUENTLY being lost thenthe staff are denying it's previous existence and even the most reasonable person would probably be pissed off IMO. Yes the other niggles are merely minor things but money being taken for one thing and being used for a different purpose altogether would really rile me! Maybe they should use it for facitities for the children of parents who paid in first place?

OP have you considered a formal complaint to the person who runs the place? I oils but only for the really big things as if you bring up all the minor things too it's as if you are just whinging.

O

breatheslowly · 09/02/2011 09:33

Why don't you ask for the trip money back?

dexifehatz · 13/02/2011 22:58

I agree with the OP re a biscuit EVERYDAY.Where is their Healthy Eating Plan?

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