Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I am, I went nuts at DD4, come and kick my arse

43 replies

PJDunkin · 08/02/2011 14:45

I wanted to get out in the fresh air, I got DDs bike out and we went out to practice cycling. She still has stabilisers and seems to find it difficult get the pedals going and keep the momentum.

So we were up and down the road outside our house, I was pushing gently on her back to get going then encouraging 'keep pedalling' 'it's easier once you get rolling'

And so it went on for about 20 minutes, but every time I took my hand off her back she just gave up.

I gave up.

We went indoors, she took her shoes and coat off and I said we'll try again later then, she said 'when I'm six' I just got so angry, I grabbed her arms at her shoulders and just started yelling in her face, called her lazy, shouted on about how I hated being stuck in the house, wanted to get out, why don't you want to get out, you're so lazy etc.

She burst into tears, I don't think I hurt her physically, just scared her. I feel dreadful, I was right in her face, saw her face crumple as she was about to cry, can't get the image out of my head.

I calmed down, we had lunch, she's been very subdued.

Now kick my arse I deserve it.

OP posts:

marmy55 · 08/02/2011 15:06

oh poor little scrap, she was probably tired :(

Boozilla · 08/02/2011 15:10

Posieparker - thank God someone posted that, I thought it was just me!

LawrieMarlow · 08/02/2011 15:14

I sometimes get frustrated with DD and bike riding - she is 5 and can't ride on her own yet. DS could do it at 4. Don't know why I get frustrated with her - most of the time I hide it and say sensible (and true) things like I couldn't ride a bike until I was 9.

But although I haven't yelled at her about it, I am sure I could.

Definitely no kicking from me.

mayorquimby · 08/02/2011 15:17

You lost it, no biggie.
Happens to everyone. Which some posters should remember next time someone posts about their dh/dp losing it with the kids and decrying him as an obvious bastard and abuser.
Everyone loses their temper now and again. Apologise to her and get on with your day.

gleechie · 08/02/2011 15:23

The fact you feel bad about it just shows your a good person, we all lose our tempers sometimes. She'll have forgotten it by tomorrow. :)

whatdoiknowanyway · 08/02/2011 15:32

DD2 struggled with bike riding. Just couldnt do it although DD1 had no trouble.(funny enough now seeing same thing with learning to drive).
So we got an extension bike to go on back of ours and it was fantastic. Gave her practice with balance and peddling so she could still enjoy cycling and then she graduated to her own bike when she had developed the necessary skills. Kids develop at different rates and 4 is quite young for bike riding.

timetosmile · 08/02/2011 15:34

Wait til they're 10 and mimic the stuff they hear the teachers say - after one non-specific rant at the lot of them generally after a terrible teatime (you all KNOW the ones I mean), DS1 said calmly "I can see that you're upset, Mum, but could you try to control your emotions a bit better"

We've all been there...apologise and cuddle and move on...

timetosmile · 08/02/2011 15:36

btw, DD wasn't off stabilisers until 6.5yrs..wasn't interested, I wasn't as patient as some of you in trotting behind bikes.
When she was ready she got it sorted in 1/2 hour!

LibraPoppyGirl · 08/02/2011 15:38

@timetosmile don't you just love it when they start that!!

DS is 13 now and leaves me looking with some of the adult/teacher comments he fires back at me. It's all I can do not to laugh (sometimes I do)

thebountymuncher · 08/02/2011 15:46

I didn't even teach my DD to ride without stabilisers my neighbour did!

DS has just turned 4 and still can't pedal, his patience is as short as mine though! (and sadly no neighbour this time to teach him!)

PJ- frustration gets the better of most of us at some point, when you're desperate for fresh air and feel like you're being held captive at home, it's enought to tip you over the edge!

Give your DD a big hug, and apology- tomorrow is a new day!

And a 'don't be too hard on yourself' hug from me to you.

Original poster

PJDunkin · 08/02/2011 15:50

Thanks everyone, you have made me feel a lot better, even though a kicking was what I asked for.

I have said sorry for being cross and squeezed and wouldn't let go cuddled.

Just went to pick up DD1 from school and stopped on the way back to get them each a comic, now happily doing stickers, will go and join them now.

OP posts:

LibraPoppyGirl · 08/02/2011 15:58

Hurrah have fun x

InPraiseOfBacchus · 08/02/2011 18:10

kicks you around the room

Nah, not really. Although what you said to her was sort of telling. Do you resent your kids a teeny tiny bit for keeping you in the house all day? Is there any way you could have one or two more days to yourself?

All the best. x

mumbar · 08/02/2011 18:33

Oh PJDunkin you just took me back 3 years . DS was the same, wouldn't try. I also got cross and felt guilty saying he wanted a bike I saved hard for it but he wouldn't even try and ride it. I took off the stablizers which showed him he needed to pedal to blance.

No kicking here but you should be proud that you apologised. Your DD will realise your human which is no bad thing.

mumbar · 08/02/2011 18:33

blance = balance !!

BootyMum · 08/02/2011 22:18

Sorry, but I feel calling a 4 year old learning to ride a bike "lazy" when she expresses feeling not big enough to do it correctly is pretty crap actually.

I don't want to beat you up about it as I guess you feel bad enough already.

But I don't agree with the posters who seem to say it is understandable and not such a biggy really.

You are the adult and need to deal with your feelings of resentment. This may involve speaking with a professional, it may mean you need to make some changes in your life somewhere.

But please, for your daughter's sake, try and work out what made you snap like this and don't just sweep it under the carpet.

glitteryturd · 08/02/2011 22:38

I remember about maybe a year ago I lost my temper biiiig time. I was shopping and I lost my car park ticket, my daughter of 18 months at the time was screaming and the car next to me was parked so close I had to climb in from the other side to get my daughter in. And something just clicked. I started screaming 'shut up shut up shut up' in the car park. Proper screaming. Then I tried to get out of the car park and the guy wanted me to park back up and fill out a form about losing my ticket...I threw my 20 quid fine at him and told him to either raise the barrier or lose it and u just drove, narrowly missing it. I got about half a mile before I pulled over and broke my heart while cuddling my daughter. I have never lost it like that since and I still think about it in pure shame.

So please don't think your alone. Being a mum is hard and maybe once we do lose it like that. It doesn't happen every day or mostly more than that once. But we all snap at some point. Hugs x

mumeeee · 08/02/2011 23:10

Everybody loses thier temper sometimes so don't beat yourself up about it, But you do need to apolagise to your DD and also give her a litle slack about riding a bike without stabilers, Not many 4 year olds can ride without them, I know several 7 year olds who still use them,

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread