Our Doctor was shitty with me this morning. Was IBU, or was he?

[AgentZigzag]

My DD1 (10) had asthma diagnosed when she was about 4, until 2 years ago when she was prescribed Piriton she had 3 or 4 chest infections a year, after taking Piriton it's now about 1 or 2 a year.

This involves her being so out of breath she can't walk up the stairs/talk, really listless, pale, coughing all day/night.

It's awful to see your normally energetic DC regularly in such a state.

I've estimated that she's probably had 20 odd chest infections so far, so I know the symptoms very well because they're the same every time.

I took her to the Doctors this morning and when he asked me what he could do for us I said 'I think she has another chest infection', and he said 'Don't tell me she has a chest infection, I'll tell you what's wrong with her', and to say he was annoyed would be an understatement.

The reason this phrase made me angry (and I'm paraphrasing what I said to him) was because sometimes when I've taken her along saying the same thing (not sure how many times), they've said 'It's just a cold making her asthma worse, antibiotics won't help'.

So we've gone away, the asthma has got worse and we go back two days later (after watching her suffer), they give us antibios and it starts clearing up after another couple of days.

I know it's not just a cold and the antibios aren't just coincidently working, and I understand Doctors don't like people googling symptoms and telling them their job, but I don't see this as the same thing.

I just see it as easier for me to say 'I think she has a chest infection' than go through the same thing every single time, he can confirm she has or that he thinks she doesn't.

The Doctor we saw was one of two we see, we've been going for 8 years, I trust him because he's always so caring and doesn't rush you.

I was angry at the time but didn't raise my voice or let it creep into my tone. I'm sure of this. By the end of the appointment he was talking really kindly to us as per normal.

But now I'm upset at the way he was, perhaps he was having a bad day or is generally pissed off at me saying she has a chest infection and not phrasing it as 'Her asthma is bad'. Perhaps he just had some bad news or something? I don't know

DD1 was at him, and says she's glad I spoke up and said something, she also believes he was shitty straight off (and not because I've spun it that way to her).

So was IBU to say 'I think she has a chest infection'? Given that I know DD1's asthma like the back of my hand, and if I go away without antibios DD1 has another at least 4 days of agonising breathing.

Was I right to answer the Doctor back and explain why I said it? He didn't take it very well, but I thought he was out of order at the time.

I'm dreading her being ill again with it, I don't really want to change doctors after all this time, and as I've said I really trust and like the practice, how can I deal with it?

I'm totally open to being told I was unreasonable, and I would appreciate objective views.

Sorry it's long, I'm trying not to drip feed.

No, YANBU. You told the doc what you thought was wrong, given that you know her and her history best. It is up to him then to examine her and come to a conclusion based on as much info as available to him.

Our doc was really shitty to me once when DS was 18 months old, I was 8 months pregnant.
He was totally out of order and I regret to this day not responding to his rudeness. They are doctors, not Gods!!!!

Aaaw - don't worry. It'll blow over.

Controversial I'm afraid... But I think it's your GPs job to diagnose and your job to describe the symptoms.

I have been asthmatic since I was 7, I'm now 33. I and my parents regularly suspected chest infections for me but in fact I was only ever suffering actual asthma symptoms brought on by allergy. Has your daughter has allergy tests. Do you know what changed my life? Two things, Seretide inhalers and ripping up every single carpet in my house, especially the bedroom.

YANBU - like others have said, you have seen enough chest infetions by now so you ought to recognise the symptoms, there is nothing wrong with making a suggestion as to what you think might be wrong. You would only be going to the doctor's if you think there is a problem, so why should he get funny about you telling him what you think the problem is? .

My GP is the other way entirely - he always goes to patient.co.uk and sends me away with a printout so I have started doing it myself before I go in for regular things - I now say something along the lines of 'I think it might be x' - and on occasion I have to ask him if he wants to check first as he just starts printing out the prescription for me assuming it's correct! (I always am)

I think he must have just had a bad day - try not to worry, if you normally find the surgery fine then it's probably just a one-off.

Hope your LO feels better soon.

As a complete aside, does anyone else have a stupidly good-looking doctor?? He's always the one I get when I have something really gross like bacterial conjuntivitis or some horrible mole that needs removing somewhere embarrassing.

I'm sure I give him nightmares...sigh...

Thanks for that post boo, that sounds awful for you and your DS.

There does seem to be a general trend towards patients being asked their opinion about their own medicine and treatment, but they can't have it both ways and then get shitty when they speak up for themselves.

If he's normally great, I'd drop it.

NBU. Bearing in mind he's usually a good doctor to you and he was fine by the end of the appointment, it sounds like its either a bad day or a case of you suffering from a difficult patient before you. Not ideal from a Doctor and an apology would have been nice but if its out of character I wouldn't let it get you too angry.

I think you were perfectly reasonable. Agree that it sounds like he was just having a bad day.

I have a kind of lung damage - bronchiecstasis - which means that I get frequent chest infections and tbh I know when I have an infection. So I also say to my GP I think I have an infection.

YANBU You are entitled to say what you think!!

My DD has tonsillitis a lot. If I think she has it, I say "I think she has tonsillitis again" That way the Dr realises she has had it before, and can rule it in or out straight away. It would be daft for me to say "she has a sore throat", just like it would have been daft of you to say "she is coughing". None of the Drs I've seen have taken offence.

I think he must have been having a bad day though if you say he is usually lovely. Don't worry about it, Drs are human too!

Not unreasonable of you, but I wouldn't really have given it much thought once I left the office - they're human and they get crotchety too. My ds gets around 4 ear infections a year, and hospital has advised that he gets antibiotics asap on starting one. Similarly to you, we know what sorts it - drops work, orals don't. Dh phone doc for her last infection and went from her saying "come and see the nurse mid-morning for a swab to confirm" to "I'll leave a prescription for oral and drops" by the end of the consultation. They have to be convinced, whereas you've seen it before, it's fair enough.

Hope she's better soon.

maybe just grumpy because he had seen some one with a sore head who swore they had a brain tumour and demanded a scan.It does happen,I have 2 SIL who behave this way and don't know why docs don't show them the door.

agent. It must be awful for your DD to suffer like this twice a year and for you to have to watch her suffer.

Thing with chest infections though is many parents take children with coughs and cold to GP, chest is clear and phlem is from dripping down the throat and is coughed up.

Having said that however after many visits to GP as a child wih a cough (I was ahthmatic) and getting (well my mum getting) the shitty its only a cough, asthma due to cold response I recently ignored an obvious chesty cough for 8 days. Finally when I was in so much pain and struggling to breathe saw GP who listened and said he could hear crackles and popping all over my chest. He then asked why I'd left it for so long.

Guess theres no middle ground.

YANBU to go to the GP with concerns over a specific illness when you recognise the symptoms and asking if it could be that again.

Hope your DD is better soon.

YANBU. I think it's pretty normal to say you think you're suffering with a particular thing if you've been diagnosed with it previously and recognise the symptoms from before.

It's not like you're going in an saying you think she's suffering with lymphangioleiomyomatosis or something.

im chronic asthmatic diagnosed from birth. isn't piriton an antihistamine? if so, have you reduced allergens in the home? as a kid i was always getting colds / chest infections and frequently fought for breath but things improved greatly as an adult. it's not that i grew out of it as the symptoms swiftly return when i go back to my parental home or any other house with pets / musty carpets and soft furnishings /damp and or mould. also farmland areas can set it off (particulalry wheat). now i leave in a clean home with laminate floors, foam bedding and the dust levels are kept down.

Thanks again for your posts, for not kicking my arse, and saying you hope DD is better soon.

She's on 5 puffs of ventolin every 20 mins, which is just about controlling it, but she looks terrible. Very grey and ill

I think anything I'd have said would have been some sort of opinion and would have set off the normal diagnosing questions, I was just trying to cut to the chase.

Like posters have said, he has her records there right in front of him and can see it keeps repeating, I wonder if it's anything to do with them trying to keep a lid on prescribing antibios?

Are you asking if my house is a shitheap kepler?

I like to keep the house clean and tidy, but I'm not obsessive IYSWIM? This definately does kick off after she's had a cold, it just seems to go straight to her chest. I would have expected it to be more frequent if it was dust etc allergy.

Have been told it could be hayfever, different plants/trees at different times of year.

Think your Dr either has a crap bedside manner or was having a very bad day. I frequently go to the Dr and say "I think I have another UTI". Dr then says "what are your symptoms", I tell him and hand over a tube of pee. At the end of the day you're allocated a 5 min slot and I'm always aware of this so try and get right to the point rather than faffing about saying "well 3 days ago I started with a tummy ache, last night I felt hot and my temp is raised, I'm going to the loo frequently, etc, etc, etc.

Agent, is your DD under a consultant? Might be worth getting to see one if not.

I have been asthmatic for a very long time, but with the consultants support now keep a "rescue pack" in the house - steroids, anti-biotics, antacids. That has made a massive difference to my life.

And also, I have two drugs that have changed my life - Singulair tablets and Symbicort inhaler. Made a massive difference, and I rarely get the post-cold infections now.

IME GPs sometimes need a little support from a consultant when asthma is severe and ongoing. x

I was going to suggest that you go and see a consultant. My sister had chronic asthma as a child and endless infections and was constantly being fobbed off by GPs. She actually has something totally different wrong with her but it took another 20 years for her to be properly diagnosed by a consultant finally.

It would be definitely worth trying to ascertain the cause of the infections and having the medical backing to get her ABs when you need them rather than when the GP thinks she should have them.

It is a difficult job for GPs, they don't want to hand out ABs like liquid smarties and difficult to tell the difference between a viral and bacterial infection.

I can't believe all these posts saying you should only describe the symptoms or use certain phrases, ridiculous. It is the doctor's job to listen in those first few moments and get you to say the right information, you shouldn't as a patient be made to feel bad or that you should have read a manual on 'how to be a patient and say the right things' to go to the doctors.

'I think she has a chest infection again' or whatever is a perfect way to start a conversation.

Some doctors are rather precious IMO,as are other health professionals (but not all). They also spend their entire lives on the defensive trying to get people not to have antibiotics.

However, don't get upset about it to the extent that you are, it's not worth it and if he is normally nice, chalk it up to a bad day and the fact that he has probably had 10 patients in a row ask for antibiotics!

Am rushing off so short post, I second pushing for a respiratory referral but most importantly if your dc is needing ventolin every 20 mins you really need to be in a and e.
Hope she feels better soon

She's not under a consultant ATM.

She went into hospital for a few days about four years ago after a particularly bad episode so they could monitor it.

It felt at the time that they actually just wanted to check we were giving her her inhalers properly. Which we were.

While she was there they said if it got bad again she was allowed to have 10 puffs every 20 mins.

It's very rare we have to resort to that though.

Not seen anyone else at the hospital since then, possibly because the Piriton made such a difference.

Knackeredmother, I really hope that if she was so bad she needed a and e that the Dr would have sent us there.

She's bad, but she has been worse, so bad I wrote out an 'asthma attack plan' so if we were in any doubt whether she was at risk of something worse we would know what it'd look like.

For us it's all about measuring it by controlling the medicine at regular intervals, and using the peak flow monitor I had to argue to get.

Is that correct 5 puffs every 20 minutes? If so I'd second knackered she needs to go up to the hospital, sounds like she's struggling poor girl.

As for the doctor, very rude and uncalled for, I have started appointments in exactly the same way, it's just a starter isn't it, as other posters have pointed out, you didn't say 'she has a chest infection', just that you think she does, it's then up to him to have a look and make his diagnosis, so it's not your fault at all.

I would definately say he'd had several patients that morning with googled printouts, he shouldn't have taken it out on you though, what a shame if you say he's been great in the past, I think I would try to forget it, go to see him again next time and see how he is then.

was going to start a new thread but as this is so similar I hope no-one minds if I jump on? DS has had a cough and cold since christmas. At the start of Jan I took him and got told "viral- go away". Took him back 3 weeks later and was given antibiotics and told tocome back in a week if it wasn't better. It did get better until the antibiotics ran out then very quickly got worse again. DP took him back and was told "viral - go away" Why tell us to bring him back if they're aren't going to do anything and clearly the antibiotics were working so why not prescribe some more?

OP hope you don;t mind the hijack. I can;t really see why the dr should be so arsey with you when, as you say, you have a reasonable clue as to what it is.