US wedding quandry

[QuintessentialShadows]

Dhs cousin is getting married. He and his fiance live in Boston. Dhs cousin has one brother, and two cousins he is/has been in touch with in recent years. He is my sons godfather. We are invited to the wedding, me, dh and our two boys.

They have changed the date of the wedding so it is no longer during school holidays, but in term time. This means we would not be able to go. So effectively, the only people from the grooms side will be his mum and his brother. The rest of the guests will be brides family and their friends.

I am disappointed. I know IABU. But I am still disappointed.

We just can not afford to fly to the US for a wedding, and only spend the maximum of two weeks ds1 will be allowed out from school.

If the wedding was during the holidays, we would have made a holiday out of it. But not really feasible in May, both due to work and school.

I just dont understand why they had to bring the wedding forward, and into dates that means that the grooms close family cant come (other than his mother and brother)

Well, if they don't have DC, then they probably haven't considered term dates. It's not really something you think about until you have children.

You could say that you will be unable to come because of the dates. They changed the date, so must reasonably expect that not everyone will be able to make it.

Or you could go for the 2 weeks. I think that would be my approach. I know it might be more expensive for you, but at least that way you will be able to attend the wedding.

They know we would have problems making it, as dh told his aunt, and she told the groom, before the save the dates went out. Which means they have good reason to make the change, I suppose.

It's a shame for you, but it's their wedding, so they have to choose the dates that suit them best. Whatever they choose, there will be someone who can't make it. It is a shame though that the groom won't have many people from his side there, but then he knew that when he made the date change

Maybe there is a reason they had to change the wedding date, and I am sure they know that because of the distance it will be a bit ambitious to expect many to fly over from the UK.

But are you saying you could go for a minimum of two weeks? If so, then go for it as flights to the US are a lot cheaper in May, and two weeks there is still enough for a holiday too.

I would have thought 2 weeks was plenty of time for a holiday - I've been to the USA and to canada both for 2 weeks and it's been fine.

If you arrived the day before the wedding then you could do that and then enjoy a family holiday afterwards. Or are they expecting you to spend more than just the wedding day involved with their plans?

No, they only expect us to spend one day. It is a fantastic resort, on the coast, with tennis and swimming pools, spa, and horse riding on the beach.... It is only that it is term time.... I would love to spend MORE than 3 weeks. But knowing the flight costs, we would not be able to afford that. (we are flying from the north of Norway, not the uk, tickets are nearly £2k)

I don't understand how can you afford it in the school holidays but not at term time? Are the flights more expensive?

The thing is, school holidays are 2 months here. from 16th June to 18th august. If we take our holiday in MAY, we will be back 3-4 days before the end of term. Further, we will have two months ahead of us, where the kids will be out from school, the other kids on holiday, and we will have used our holiday allowance, and be unable to go anywhere, and we wont be able to afford going somewhere either.

are they living in the states? why not visit them during your summer holidays and see them then instead of the wedding?

ramona, that is a good idea! I need to think about that. Will suggest it to dh.

What ramona suggests.