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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be getting miffed about a present I haven't yet been given!!

38 replies

ThreeBubbasAndManyBumps · 08/02/2011 08:31

I know this is going to sound spoiled (probably because it is!! :o)

It's our wedding anniversary this week - 5 yrs, which is traditionally wood (fnaaar!!). DH doesn't bother normally with the traditional presents, but at the weekend I said I needed to get him a present and he asked what the tradition is this year, and came back from WHSmith with what looks like yet another blinking photo frame. Don't get me wrong, I love photos, and we've just had DC#3 so plenty of photos to choose from, but we have squillions of empty photo frames lying around waiting to be filled. He won't fill them, so they'll only get filled when I get round to it. Last year he bought me a photo frame (but silly photo size so it's still empty). I'm also miffed about the lack of thought that's gone in to it.

AIBU (I know I am!!) to already be miffed about it? :o Hmm :o

btw, I've bought him a decent sleeping bag (wood link is we camp in the woods, and he's really excited about camping as a family of five for our future hols) and a little cricket bat and ball (we've just had a DS and DH is mad about cricket and has already started boring talking to DS about the rules of cricket). :)

braces self

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LaurieFairyCake · 08/02/2011 08:36

YANBU - how boring! I'm afraid I use anniversaries as an excuse for dh to buy me jewellery so for example for your wood year try: this

Way more interesting Grin

FreudianSlippery · 08/02/2011 08:40

In principle I'd say YABU because it is quite spoiled to complain about a gift!

But it's different when it's someone who is supposed to know you inside out (so to speak) - they should be able to choose you something personal that you'll love, even if it's not an expensive gesture.

Original poster
ThreeBubbasAndManyBumps · 08/02/2011 08:49

There are so many things wood-related I would love - jewellery, gardening stuff, a tree?, a sculpture, even fancy pencils (I love creating things)...

To be honest, even if he filled the photo frame, that would be lovely as it would show he'd taken the time to think about it, but as it is...

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marriednotdead · 08/02/2011 09:02

YABU.

Every anniversary of ours so far has been 'flowers from the local florist' year.

I do not anticipate a change, and you are setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect him to suddenly become an inspired gift chooser.

Unless he's got lazy and was before of course.

Original poster
ThreeBubbasAndManyBumps · 08/02/2011 09:08

ooh, flowers would be nice marriednotdead!!! :o Wink :o

I am setting myself up for disappointment, you're right. Just can't get my miffed-off face out of my mind. I just know I'm not going to be able to hide my disappointment! Confused

oooh - another thought - a nice oaky Wine

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Blatherskite · 08/02/2011 09:22

My DH is just as bad. We've been married just over 5 years and since we got married, he's never once bought me flowers Sad He did before we got married but doesn't bother anymore.

We had a big falling out last Mother's Day when he got me some cheap, nasty chocolate cupcakes from Tesco and wrote "Mummy" on them with some left over writing icing he found in the kitchen cupboard. Judged against nothing it wouldn't have been so bad but but he left me babysitting while he went out to get mine and his Mum's presents. He went to the local garden center and bought posh, hand made ginger cakes and jam for his Mum then went to Tesco for my processed rubbish! They weren't even Tesco Finest, they were the cheapest tatt he could find!

Original poster
ThreeBubbasAndManyBumps · 08/02/2011 09:40

:o blathers

"it's the thought that counts" doesn't really help here, does it :(

that's trult awful (though at least he did something for you - mine is still being trained in that dept, although to be fair he's only had four years to get used to me being a mummy Hmm)

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Original poster
ThreeBubbasAndManyBumps · 08/02/2011 09:41

shit, sorry, that was supposed to be Shock not :o (skype uses same symbols for different emoticons) Blush

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Blatherskite · 08/02/2011 09:44

Same here. DS is 4 next month!

Even my Mum, who is usually quick to defend anything he does, was a bit shocked at how crap that was. She took me out and we bought me a little double photo frame (I had just had DD and wanted a little frame for a picture of her to go next to my one of DS by my bed) and a pink and a blue Hyacinth (I love the smell) to make up for him :)

scurryfunge · 08/02/2011 09:47

We have never done anniversary presents but this year we have decided to. It is our china wedding anniversary and I am hoping for a trip to China to celebrate but I am more likely to get a mug from the Esso garage Sad.

Memoo · 08/02/2011 09:47

For our first annivesary which is paper I made dh a scrap book of our first year of marriage, dh bought me a fucking suduko book! Hmm

WimpleOfTheBallet · 08/02/2011 09:48

YANBU my DH had a habit of getting me crap gifts...I had to re-train him. Otherwise it's a waste of money!

I just said things like "Ooh...it's almost valentines day! I'd like some heart shaped earrings!"

And left it at that Grin

Not very subtle maybe but he's happy to know what sort of thing to get me...and if I suggest something open which he can choose himself then I still get a surprise!

Will they be diamonds? Or cheapo ones? Truth s I dont care...I just want something I will use and which is romantic.

I have also said things like "I like underwear from this shop" and pointed....advied him to speak to assistants and tell them "My wife likes vintage looking clothes and is a size 12..."

They always help him and get nice presents!

WimpleOfTheBallet · 08/02/2011 09:49

Grin Memoo "Thank you for my fucking suduko book darling"

ShatnersBassoon · 08/02/2011 09:49

YANBU. Photo frames are pretty thoughtless, no effort gifts. I buy them a lot for my MIL.

Memoo · 08/02/2011 09:52

Words to that effect wimple Grin

RMCW · 08/02/2011 09:52

YAB a bit U.

Dh and I dont really "do" anniversaries and valentines etc....its always seemed really odd to me that people need a specific day to tell someone how they feel and that a gift - any gift - can adequately express that.

Maybe just have a nice meal at home together with a bottle of wine?

Bluemoonrising · 08/02/2011 09:53

Just be really blunt - get all the empty photo frames out and maybe fill a couple (before you get the gift) and say something like 'I don't think we have enough space for all these photo frames, we won't need to buy any more for years!'

And hope he rushes out for something more interesting....

LadySanders · 08/02/2011 09:54

my dh is pretty rubbish at presents generally, i have now got into the habit of sending him emails periodically when i see something indulgent that i like, with a link to the item and a subject header saying 'birthday', or 'christmas'. as for anniversaries, we agreed to just do cards and dinner out...

PorkChopSter · 08/02/2011 09:55

You're lucky you got a photo frame. I had DH following me round threatening to "give me wood" for weeks Hmm

LadySanders · 08/02/2011 09:55

not helped by the fact that we have in the space of 5 weeks, dd birthday, ds2 birthday, valentines day, our anniversary, then my birthday... it's too many presents in one go, we really should have got married in august!

WimpleOfTheBallet · 08/02/2011 09:57

Yes..get them all out and put typed messages in each one...
]
"I do not like photo frames"

"I want diamonds"

"Cheapskate"

etc.

And then line them all up on the mantlepiece!

LadySanders · 08/02/2011 09:57

porkchopster that made me laugh

hmmSleep · 08/02/2011 10:01

It was our 5 yr anniversary last month, I got . . . . a card, well I guess card does come from trees Hmm .

potplant · 08/02/2011 10:01

I think you have to make peace with the fact that he's a crap present buyer. If you want somethng nice either tell him directly (ie I want this) or buy it yourself.

Original poster
ThreeBubbasAndManyBumps · 08/02/2011 10:01

rofl wimple :o - memoo think your DH may be related to mine;

For our 1st year anniversary, I made 12 gift card boxes (same as we'd had for our wedding), and on each one I wrote what significant memory had happened for us for each of the months [soppy git emoticon]. DH bought me... actually genuinely can't remember what he got me Shock, but I do remember thinking WTF!!? (I know that story would have been a lot better with a shit present at the end à la memoo, but I've only just squeezed out my brain with a mahoosive baby) :o

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