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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

By Avoiding a Family Holiday Like the Plague

18 replies

ThePerfectFather · 07/02/2011 12:13

I'll keep it brief: in-laws, wife, baby and a few of the extended family want a family holiday to somewhere remote and rural this spring.

I've been on holiday with the in-laws before and it was like the very first level of hell before you get judged by Minos. A lot of sitting around waiting for someone to tell you what you've done wrong, and a lot of arguing.

Anyway, I've been looking after DD for 2 years as a stay-at-home Dad and obviously my lifestyle now is totally different to my lifestyle pre-baby. I'd love a week of lying in, late nights and even going out a few times. Just a break from the routine.

So the question is - AIBU to opt out of the 'holiday'? I'm not being forced to go but the guilt-tripping from all quarters is starting to ramp up and I need a push either way.

OP posts:
teenyanne · 07/02/2011 12:17

I don't think YABU at all. But that might be because my dh's parents have suggested they come on holiday with us, and I'd rather chew my own arm off.

Did you tell your wife that you would be happy for her to go with your dd and you would quite like a few days off? Otherwise, is it possible that you compromise and join them for a couple of days and have a couple of days at home on your own? That might help reduce the guilt tripping a bit?

kreecherlivesupstairs · 07/02/2011 12:18

I don't think YABU at all. I can't think of very much worse than going away with my ILs.
Can you go away by yourself while your family are doing their thing?

Original poster
ThePerfectFather · 07/02/2011 12:20

teenyanne: Wife and DD are going, that's set in stone. The question is whether I'll come too or stay behind and, frankly, laze around like a fat pig.

It'll be at least 5 or even 6 hours away, so popping down in our old banger is really going to be tricky.

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 07/02/2011 12:26

YANBU. Gomez and I have both taken dc away independently with friends/family for a weekend or a few days and it is so nice to have that quiet time.

Blackduck · 07/02/2011 12:27

I wouldn't do it....I love my in-laws but would rather stab pins in my eyes than spend more than one over night in their company... (dp feels the same about mine, a weekend in York was managed by large amounts of anethetising alcohol....)

purplepidjin · 07/02/2011 12:34

Is there some vital bit of DIY/other house job like steam cleaning the sofas and carpets that needs doing and you don't have time/don't want to disrupt dc? Hmm

A teeny bit on the sexist side, but you wouldn't want your little darlings to breathe in all that dust, and this would be the perfect opportunity to get it done Wink

racmac · 07/02/2011 13:00

no way on earth would i ever go anywhere with my in laws again - never ever, would rather have my eyeballs stabbed with hot pins Grin

I say stay at home and chill out for a week -

OTheHugeManatee · 07/02/2011 13:12

I say stay at home.

Redecorate the hall if you need an excuse, but that'll only take a day or so and you can spend the rest of the time farting and getting up at noon. Grin

controlpantsandgladrags · 07/02/2011 13:13

I would absolutely stay at home. I'm a sahm and I would love to have a proper break from it for a few days Smile

JingleMum · 07/02/2011 13:15

i was thinking of starting a thread about my inlaws and the constant suggestions that they come on our summer holiday with me, DP and DD. it's so awkward!

don't go! you probably work your arse off as a stay at home dad and you are entitled to a few days off. home alone, slobbing around sounds like a better option to me. YANBU.

SNOWBall4girlz · 07/02/2011 13:18

Definitely stay at home I am a mum and did not feel guilty when my dh took the kids to the in laws caravan with the in laws .......a couple of years ago now.
It was great for getting on with stuff but at my own pace. No kids or hubby getting in the way achved loads and got lie ins too.

AgentZigzag · 07/02/2011 13:22

I'd much rather deal with the guilt trips than go, if your DW is OK with you doing that.

I'd much rather stay a week at home and spend the cash we'd have spent on a holiday, on treats and days out instead.

OTheHugeManatee · 07/02/2011 13:25

FWIW, DP occasionally suggests we go on a joint family holiday with his sisters and their DCs. So far I've fended it off. I hope this can continue. Even though I like them all, a big family holiday is my idea of hell, so in my book YANBU at all.

TrillianAstra · 07/02/2011 13:25

I owulnd't want to go on holiday with my in laws or my own parents.

I am an equal-opportunities grumpy bugger.

Original poster
ThePerfectFather · 07/02/2011 13:31

Thank you for the replies. Decision made - Slobfest 2011 is on!

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 07/02/2011 13:32
Grin
NinkyNonker · 07/02/2011 13:49

That sounds amazing, very jealous.

ENormaSnob · 07/02/2011 15:34

Yadnbu

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