We already have 11 DC's...
No, actually we have 1 dd who is 13. We always wanted 2 dc's but dd was born with a congenital condition which may have been genetic. We waited 5 years to find out it wasn't. Then the timing just wasn't right for a new baby so we held off.
I'm now 42. 3 years ago I had my coil removed; we aren't 'actively' ttc but aren't doing anything to prevent it.
DH and I are pretty laid-back; we have a nice stable home and if a baby arrived we'd be thrilled, if it doesn't happen we won't be devastated. We both like the idea of leaving it to fate - if it happens it happens.
I am getting the feeling that if it hasn't happened by now it won't anyway!
Anyway I was chatting with a friend a couple of days a go and the subject came up, and she was HORRIFIED that we have this attitude. She said that it should be a decision, that we should either want a baby or not, that we can't really want it because we aren't trying etc etc. She finished by saying that if we don't care about having a baby would we really care about the baby itself.
At the time I was just 
, ok so that is her opinion. But it's been on my mind and I am actually really upset now. I do care, and if I did get pg I would be over the moon. The baby would definitely be wanted and loved. But we are realistic, chances are that it isn't going to happen and if we go all-out ttc we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. So we just want to let nature take its own way.
TBH she's made me feel like a cold heartless bitch, not caring one way or the other. I almost feel like we need to make a decision, to ttc or not. AI(we)BU to just keep on the way we are?
She is a really good friend btw, she just hasn't got a 'filter' between thinking and speaking IYKWIM. She didn't say it in a nasty way.