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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel upset by this?

3 replies

elephantpoo · 07/02/2011 09:43

Bit of a long one............but please stick with me!!

DD (8) came out of school on Tuesday of last week in a foul mood-this mood occassionally appears when there's been trouble at school / if she feels something is unresolved.
Met my friend (we'll call her "Lucy") on the way out of school, and she commented on DD's bad mood, and said maybe it was related to something she'd heard about that had happened that day at school. After great persuasion (she felt she was betraying a confidence) she told me that DD and 2 other friends had been involved in tearing another girls (we'll call her "x")comic that she'd made at home.
Now, (rightly or wrongly) I strongly believe that things that happen in school and that are dealt with appropriately in school should not then be dragged around outside of school, unless the teacher deems it necessary. However, on this occassion I felt I needed to speak to the teacher and find out what had happened. DD has never done anything spiteful like this before.
Anyway, spoke to the teacher who confirmed that the comic had been ripped (though whether it was deliberate or not is still not known......DD maintains it was an accident). He also said that the comic had been about snails (something DD and her friend share a love of!!) and had mocked DD for liking them. From what I can gather (from DD and the teacher) there was a bit of taunting over this comic - "DD name....you REALLY want to see this!" etc and in a scrabble to get to look at the comic it got ripped.
I am happy with the way the teacher dealt with this. He sat them down together and explained about respecting others' property and also not writing things that set out to upset others' feelings / cause an arguement. Unfortunately the teacher only managed to catch the mother of "x" after school, who went on to tell a very one-sided story to "Lucy", leaving out the bit about the taunting and the subject of the comic. "X"'s mothers children can do no wrong in her eyes and I feel sick with worry that DD has been dragged into this.

After all of this I feel so upset (nearly a week on) that "Lucy" didn't question this information she was given. There was no "that doesn't sound like......DD's name".
I'm also upset that I approached the teacher.......I'd hate for him to think I lack confidence in his ability.
It also upsets me that "x"'s mother can so blatantly lie when it relates to an 8 year old child. It's cruel.
So, Aibu to still be upset by this?
........I probably am, aren't I??

OP posts:
jimper · 07/02/2011 09:47

How is your daughter now? I just think you know what the school gates can be like - some people delight in the idea that another child is in trouble :)

If DD is fine then let it go....there are going to be bigger battles!

elephantpoo · 07/02/2011 09:50

I'm possibley a little naive.....do people really delight in other children getting into trouble??
She's still a little upset about it........nobody likes being doubted.

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsPoopaScoop · 07/02/2011 09:51

Really, let it go. IT isn't a big enough thing to get upset about. To Lucy it will have seemed like such a small thing as to be totally inconsequential, she won't have thought twice about accepting the story she was told.

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