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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To give up my job

21 replies

Biscuitscoco · 06/02/2011 22:22

AIBU to give up my job (over £45K arts manager) because of workplace politics?

Have been completely sidelined at work. Hate it there now. Am I mad to just leave without another job to go to?

OP posts:

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 22:24

Yep! What's the hurry? Surely it's not so bad that you want to end up on the dole?

Start looking around and applying for new jobs.

gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2011 22:24

can you manage without your wage - if so then NO

if not blimey yabu in the current economic climate don't leave until you have somewhere to go x

Garcia10 · 06/02/2011 22:25

I would say that YABU. Why don't you just starting looking for a new position? It is always easier to find a new job whilst you are still in employment. How will you explain leaving this position without one to go to to prospective employers?

smellyfeet · 06/02/2011 22:25

Would you give up working in that kind of role entirely? If you were, getting up and leaving might be hard to get back into the same thing.

But I hear you, the company I work for got taken over and it's been miserable. The great pay and flexible working keeps me going.

mamatomany · 06/02/2011 22:26

Yes give it up and let me have it, I love a bit of politics, reduced my last twat manager to tears with a few home truths, tbh it's the only reason I ever went to work, miss it.

GMajor7 · 06/02/2011 22:40

Arts Manager? 45K? YABVU!!

Original poster

Biscuitscoco · 06/02/2011 22:50

Thanks folks. I know you are right. It's just I have started dreading Sunday nights because I don't want to go tomorrow (childish eh?!).

Job still has some nice aspects (good money, near where I live, some lovely colleagues), but the sidelining thing is horrible and there is one senior manager there who really has it in for me (he is bully, I stood up to him). Makes it depressing.

OP posts:

MrsNonSmoker · 06/02/2011 23:17

Can you go freelance?

MrsNonSmoker · 06/02/2011 23:18

Or get some consultancy work?

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 06/02/2011 23:21

That's crap- my dad went through a similar thing a few years back. If you feel you are being I'll-treated cover your arse for everything- don't drop a single stiitch and keep a diary (not on your work computer ;)) of every single thing they do to be nasty
it just means that you are covered if things get nasty, meanwhile look for another post x

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 06/02/2011 23:22

can you just ris above it & buy yourself lots of lovely treats with the 45k? ie a mulberry handbag or somesuch to make 'em all jealous, massages to make you feel fab....? Anyhoooo, politics are everywhere. Leaving isn't the answer

Janni · 06/02/2011 23:25

Much easier to get a new job when you already have one! For one thing, you will need references and it would be much harder to get them if you've left unexpectedly. Having said that, take your unhappiness seriously and start applying for new jobs - you'll probably find it easier to tolerate your current work if you're actively looking for something else Good luck!

scottishmummy · 06/02/2011 23:34

giving up well paid job in recession is foolish

you need to have discussion, perhaps semi formal with another manager

keep diary of specifics examples sideline

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 23:38

My 8yr old doesn't want to go to school tomorrow but it's one of those things I'm afraid. He'll go, he'll get through it and he'll come out the other end of it...I'm sure you will too until you can find a way of changing jobs.

huddspur · 07/02/2011 00:41

I wouldn't because you're not assured to walk into another

TheMotherOfAllDilemmas · 07/02/2011 01:07

Do you have a HR department that can act as a mediator to sort conflict? Grievance procedure? something of the sort?

Leaving a job in arts at that salary is MADNESS, those positions are scarce, well paid... impossible to find again?

Find another job, before leaving this, because believe me, nobody would understand why you left a £45,000 job in arts to become unemployed for a while (You can't certainly not mention your reasons in an interview).

salsmum · 07/02/2011 01:42

op can I have your job? I'm a poor activities leader in a residential home...earn about 7k, work all hours god sends...even on day off I feel like an arts manager {do loadsa arts n crafts] and everyone in work is always bitching moaning. Please forward job details if you give up. YABU

Margles · 07/02/2011 01:47

I don't think you are being unreasonable (have been there myself although not on £45K) - in that situation your mental health could be seriously damaged and you might not then be able to work at all.

If you can manage financially it might be an opportunity to take your time to find something more congenial or even change direction.

Perhaps you could give yourself a time limit - say 3 months to put some money aside, so that you have a cushion of cash to tide you over? Meanwhile, document everything which goes on so that you are covered if it comes to a showdown.

Original poster

Biscuitscoco · 07/02/2011 08:49

Thank you all for good advice.

I am looking for another job, and I am also keeping a diary as you suggest.

However I am getting increasingly miserable to the point where my husband is telling me to leave.

I know i should just toughen up - and believe me I am usually pretty resilient - but at times it just feels too much.

I like the Mulberry Handbag therapy idea tho! Thanks. x

OP posts:

nomoreheels · 07/02/2011 09:42

Yes, it's good to be careful in these difficult financial times. But if your mental health is suffering, do something quickly. Even if it's taking a job for less pay. As long as you can pay your mortgage/rent/bills you'd be surprised at how much less you can live on. It is so much better to be happier with less money.

I should know. I am currently signed off with stress, 5 months P & very, very burnt out due to a combination of workload & politics. I am stuck for the time being as getting a job now will be too hard (who is going to hire a woman who is due in 4 months?) so I'm toughing it out on sick pay until I can go on ML. Not to mention that it's taken me 3 months just to start to feel better. Panic attacks, insomnia, no appetite, depressed, hopeless... I was in terrible shape.

I didn't walk away when I should have because I was holding out for maternity pay, but TTC took much longer than we expected & well, it all ended up going very very wrong.

If you are that unhappy, do something about it before you get too unwell or stressed out to manage your next move. The longer I left it, the more my confidence and ability to cope eroded.

NestaFiesta · 07/02/2011 09:51

If colleagues make your job so impossible that you see no option but to resign, then you could have a case for constructive dismissal. A diary is a good idea, so keep doing that. HR is your friend

If not, lump it, its good money, grin and bear it whilst looking for soemthing else. On your last day before starting your next job you can tell everyone why you're leaving and feel very satisfied.

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