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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a little pissed off with my friend?

15 replies

sofaqueenie · 06/02/2011 21:24

It was DS's 1st birthday party yesterday. It was nothing too massive, just some food and a few close friends and family.

I like to think that we are fairly close, we have the sort of friendship where we might not see eachother for a few weeks, but when we do we pick up where we left off.

I gave her an invite three weeks prior to Sat, and also spoke to her on Friday night and she said she wouldn't miss it for the world. She's always saying how much she loves DS, and how she doens't get to see him as often as she would like.

I get a text from her on Sat morning saying that she can't come because she needs to sort some wedding things out (they get married abroad in April)

She's known about this party for quite a while, AIBU to be slightly pissed off and hurt that couldn't make it even for half hour?

OP posts:

prettymuchapixiegirl · 06/02/2011 21:27

Does she have children? If not maybe she finds childrens birthday parties boring and didn't like to say?

IreneHeron · 06/02/2011 21:28

I'd be sad but give her the benefit of the doubt. It is only a child's party, and she probably thought there'd be other people there and she wouldn't be missed.

Most people don't really give a shit about someone else's kid's party, especially when they're only one.

C0FFEE · 06/02/2011 21:28

At least they texted you, unlike my friends who just id not turn up.

Original poster

sofaqueenie · 06/02/2011 21:30

No, she has no children. To be honest, we don't know many children as yet so there was only a two year old and my son there.

If that was the case, I just wish she would be honest. I like to think that two friends can be honest with each other without the worry of a fallout.

OP posts:

scurryfunge · 06/02/2011 21:30

Children's parties are incredibly dull for adults, especially if they are not related.

If she works during the week, then maybe she wants to spend time with her fiancé.

trixie123 · 06/02/2011 21:31

I would be pretty annoyed if she said she was coming and then pulled out - assuming she isn't miles away, 1/2 hour at the party wouldn't have killed her. One of my oldest friends who always refers to herself as "Auntie..." in relation to my DS couldn't be arsed to get herself to his 1st birthday and it still pisses me off.

curlymama · 06/02/2011 21:31

If she's planning a wedding, that will be the centre of her world atm. It will be as important to her as your ds's birthday party is to you.

Don't take it personally, she is probably just all consumed with wedding stuff, it doesn't mean that she doesn't think your ds is important.

Or, she might have lied because her and her fiance woke up and had a huge row over something weddingy.

Original poster

sofaqueenie · 06/02/2011 21:31

Irene, I think that turning one is quite an important thing to be honest!

And it's not just someones else party, it was my sons and she is a very good friend.

OP posts:

BootyMum · 06/02/2011 21:32

I think this is rude. Of course your child's first birthday party is important to you and as a good friend she should have made the effort to be there. Presumably she expects you to attend her wedding? Same thing imo, not everyone finds weddings particularly fascinating either...

Original poster

sofaqueenie · 06/02/2011 21:34

Exactly Booty, she's invited me to her hen night next month and I've accepted.

I could be a bitch and turn round and announce that I can't make it because I have 'baby things to sort out' but that would just be petty - still, I think I'd quite like to do it at the moment!

OP posts:

zookeeper · 06/02/2011 21:36

I don't think a child's first birthday is a big deal. Perhaps she didn't either?

IreneHeron · 06/02/2011 21:54

Sorry Sofa, I'm just not one of those people who think birthdays that important. Certainly not baby birthdays. But I'm sorry that you are upset.

I would be upset myself if my child was older and was looking forward to seeing the friend and was old enough to be disappointed at her not being there.

seaweedhead · 06/02/2011 22:02

I'd imagine she just didn't realise how important it was to you. I think YAB a bit U to be that pissed off about it- I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you.

vickster11 · 06/02/2011 22:22

I had a party for my ds 1st birthday and asked all of his little friends. Three mums never bothered turning up. One left a message on facebook when the party started, the other two never bothered to let me know.

barteringlines · 07/02/2011 00:08

I think she was quite rude to give that excuse at the last minute after previously saying she wouldn't miss it for the world. If she didn't want to go she could have at least said she had diahorrhea (sp?) or something.

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