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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really depressed from reading the posts on the Teenagers section

27 replies

squatbottom · 06/02/2011 20:37

I ocasionally have a gander on the teenagers forum to see what might be coming my way in the next couple of years as dcs are nearly reaching their teens.
But OMG the threads are soooo depressing, drugs, porn, arguments, addiction to video games. Is that really what's going to happen to my lovely babies? Shock

OP posts:
Deaddei · 06/02/2011 20:39

Yes.Wink

gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2011 20:39

your a bit unreasonable flaming their forum!

maryz · 06/02/2011 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 06/02/2011 20:41

flaming? how?

and squat - prepare yourself. The teen years are our punishment for everything we did to our parents Wink

alice15 · 06/02/2011 20:41

Except that, bear in mind, people aren't going to post unless they need advice, mostly. So the people whose teens are less demanding won't be posting as much, perhaps. And they don't all have the same problems, of course - my 16 year old has never drunk, smoked or stayed out late, but we have had PLENTY of other problems even so!

BringOnTheGoat · 06/02/2011 20:41

How is it flaming to find what is actually on there depressing? We'd all love to protect our LO's from some of the negative teenage bits they will endure, no?

PlentyOfParsnips · 06/02/2011 20:41

Yes, there are lots of potential problems but you also get to see them blossoming into young adults, which is a wonderful thing. I have found it the trickiest stage since they were toddlers, but every bit as rewarding.

gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2011 20:42

no your not - sorry Grin I was thinking this was a forum FOR teenagers not about them and you where being a bit spylike

I take it back - and yes it scares the big cheeses out of me - I have 3 girls!

WincyEtNightie · 06/02/2011 20:42

YANBU. I sometimes see the threads that are in active convos. Some fab, fab parents that are fantastically thoughtful, considerate and self aware and still struggling majorly.

At least when my 4YO kicks off I know that it's at least 50% likely to be my cack handed parenting. These guys are seriously impressive and still Sad

I'll still flick anyone on the forehead if they come up to me during one of my DD's tantrums and says "wait until she's a teenager" though Wink

maryz · 06/02/2011 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strandednomore · 06/02/2011 20:43

I am terrified of the teenage years- everyone tells me how hard it is, much harder than having toddlers (apparently). On the other hand, it might be nice to not have to be up at 6am every morning with a bouncy 5-yr-old....

Panzee · 06/02/2011 20:44

Punishment for what I did to my parents? Oh bugger....

TheSecondComing · 06/02/2011 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beamur · 06/02/2011 20:45

Two teens in my house - no trouble at all.
Many of them are delightful, funny, intelligent people - just like they were when they were small.
Ok, they do use all the towels, eat all the biscuits and monopolise the TV/computer etc, but on the plus side, they can help out with stuff (a teen in the house means you never have to struggle with gadgets ever again) and they sleep A LOT.

strandednomore · 06/02/2011 20:47

Actually I am more worried about what my dh is going to do to my dd's first boyfriends (think Robert de Niro in Meet the Parents).

Pumpster · 06/02/2011 20:49

In some ways it is so much harder. In some ways it's easier..
I have a baby, a toddler a pre teen, a step teen and a teen so I feel qualified to answer!
I think babies and toddlers are physically exhausting but teens are mentally exhausting. They are all infuriating rewarding in their own ways Grin

Original poster
squatbottom · 06/02/2011 20:51

i take the point that people mainly post when they have problems they're looking for advice on.
But if Hecate's right and teenage years are retribution for what i put my parents through, then I'm in big trouble Shock

I guess the types of posts on the teenager section are just so so different from the other parenting forums that it really stands out.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2011 20:51

Beamur I LOVE your point abut gadgets - my 8 year old already know how to do stuff on the PC that I don;t - as a technophobe I welcome that bit!

bigbeagleeyes · 06/02/2011 20:51

People post on teens if they're having problems and need advice. Not all teens are difficult. Mine is lovely, though I do think that Jake on Two and a Half Men is based on him.

Goblinchild · 06/02/2011 20:53

Mine are lovely, as are their friends. They are on the whole polite, hard-working and have positive plans for their futures.
Most of them help out at home, have part-time jobs, revise sporadically, some of them do argue with their parents but not to the point of serious breakdown.
They seem amazingly tolerant of different choices and ambitions that they all have, and relationships seem based on respect for each other and real affection not just sex.
It isn't all doom and gloom, but people post when there is a problem. If you look at the Relationships board, you'd never enter a partnership again if you thought that was the norm.
My teens are much easier than they were as 9 year olds, or as toddlers. And yes, you get your mornings back at the weekends.
HTH

posey · 06/02/2011 20:53

I remember when dd was about 8...a couple of her very good friends have much older siblings, who were well into teenage then. I remember thinking/worrying about all those things that we had to look forward to with dd (going places on her own, dyeing her hair, having a willfull mind of her own, having friends I didn't like, boyfriends...) the list was endless.
Now we're there and we embrace each age and stage as we did toddler tantrums, starting school, playground politics...mostly it is all fine. Sometimes rubbish and scary, sometmes extremely frustrating, sometimes wet-your-pants hilarious. She has great friends, school is fine (never great, just fine!), she has highs and lows and we deal with them. It keeps you on your toes Grin

I have a 6 year gap between my 2, and I know the parents of my ds's friends look at me and dd and wonder how they'll deal with a teenager. Some of them hate walking past the comp at going home time, they find it scary. I can't see the problem myself.

And when I recently asked my mum what age/stage she enjoyed us best, she said without a moment's hesitation "your teens".
Truly encouraging Smile

strandednomore · 06/02/2011 20:58

Thanks all that is heartening. I am probably scared of the teenage years because I know so few teenagers myself - although my oldest nephew is now 14 and I think is a much nicer person than he was when he was younger.

I can also remember what I was like as a teenager, which fills me with extra dread...I guess it's a lot to do with the loss of control over them. I know I was doing all sorts of things my parents wouldn't have wanted me to, so I assume my two will too!

southeastastra · 06/02/2011 20:58

my ds is 17 is so good. and he can collect the younger child from school so i can work more which is nice

SandStorm · 06/02/2011 21:02

I've not had to post on teenagers yet although I am now at that stage with my oldest daughter. But I think that's because so far I've been able to handle whatever she's thrown my way (which isn't much) okay with my DH.

I have a beautiful, generally well behaved, polite child so don't despair just yet. They do exist.

nomoreheels · 06/02/2011 21:04

I'm expecting my first baby and it's a girl... Part of me is irrationally terrified that one day I'll have to deal with a teen nightmare like the film "Thirteen".... Hmm

I was a pretty tame teen so no payback karma, hopefully.

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