to want to cut this person out of my life

[LittlePudding1]

This is my first post on AIBU so please be gentle with me. Sorry this is a bit long

To try and cut a long story short, me and oh went to a party a few days before my babys due date and stayed over at hotel. I went to bed early and left oh to party the night away. When he finally got back to room it turned out that he'd had a massive row with a friend of a friend.

The following morning a friend of mine told me that the person he had been arguing with had told her that oh had tried to get off with her. Now my friend didnt witness this and neither did anyone else, she was just relaying info from this other person.

I confronted oh and he was horrified and totally denied it and judging by his reaction I totally believed him. Also she is not his type at all.

My friend never once asked how I was afterwards or stopped to think how this info would effect me (I was very hormonal and upset) just kind of assumed that nothing would change and carried on as if nothing had been said. I feel that she was totally selfish and never thought about my feelings at all. Also, she has never apologised for upsetting me.

The difficulty is that we have a lot of mutual friends and I am likely to come in to contact with her for birthdays, nights out and other occasions.

AIBU to expect an apology or want to cut her out of my life? and can I even do this without it effecting our other friends?

sorry, so you want to cut out the person he rowed with or another friend that told you what teh row was about?

What was the argument about ?

Sorry, I am thinking of cutting the friend off who told me the info. I should also have added that this friend is quite well know for exaggering/embelishing stories

Don't really know the person he had a row with, she's a friend of a friend and irritatingly I could never really get to the bottom of what the arguement was about, just some sort of drunken row

It sounds a bit odd to me, if you were my friend I definitely would have handled the situation a bit more delicately as opposed to jumping in and telling you outright then acting like it was nothing..

You could either meet up with her and talk through it with her, from the night itself to how it made you feel. Maybe she is under the impression that you were in fact fine and wanted to forget about it?

If it really is bothering you and you don't want to try and sort thugs out with her just see her personally less and less. Things will just fade out and you won't run the risk of upsetting a whole friendship group by dropping a bomb.

I hope this makes some sense! Xx

YABU

tbh, if someone had said my DH had tried it on with them, i would expect my friend to tell me. would you have preferred your friend to keep quiet about it and let you go on knowing nothing? imagine if it had been true and no-one told you but they all knew?

Why should your friend apologise for relaying information to you? I don't get it.

If I were you, I would be more pre-occupied with finding out what this row was about. It all sounds a bit weird. It also smacks of shooting the messenger a bit.

You're shooting the messenger a bit I'm afraid
sorry x

You're right, she was insensitive. Have you spoken to the one who says oh tried it on with her? (Beware Chinese whispers.) That'd short circuit this 'friend' of yours.

Or maybe you can't face that? Wouldn't blame you. Whatever happened, she wasn't thinking of you.

I don't think your friend has done anything wrong has she?

Either your DP is lying, or the person he argued with is lying. Your anger should be directed at either (or both) of them, not your friend.

So you want to cut off the person who told you that your OH had potentially cheated on you? Really...?

Agree with Lady - shooting the messenger!

Alarm bells ringing everywhere..

It could be perfectly innocent, crossed wires, misunderstandings but really- this is mis-placed anger, I'd be thanking her for letting me know what was being said about my husband and the going seriously Columbo on his ass about this argument