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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm pee'd off that DH got stuck in traffic

16 replies

TallulahDoesTheHula · 06/02/2011 16:28

So DH is on a stag do this weekend. He only got back on Wed from a nearly 3 week work trip away. Fair enough it was a work trip, but it was to somewhere pretty exotic and he got to do and see some fantastic things while away.
I, on the other hand, got to stay at home and look after 2 small DCs whilst being horrendously sick with morning sickness.
This weekend he took the car so we havent even been able to get out much.

He said yesterday on setting off that he would be back by midday on Sunday as they would be leaving straight after breakfast from the hotel.
I said 'that sounds a bit optimistic, surely you wont be up that early for breakfast'
He agreed on thinking about it and said that they'd def be leaving by 11am iah though which would mean home at 2pm.
Fine.

He texts at midday and says only just leaving so wont be home till 3pm. Ok fine, not a problem. I text back and ask him to stop into corner shop on way home and pick up something that I need to cook dinner. He says fine.

I then get a call at 3pm on the dot - I say 'ooh are you in the shop?' but NO, he is still 2 hours away and says he's been stuck in traffic.

Am now p'd off as he wont be back till at least 5pm, which is a whole 5 hours later than his original offering. He didnt call until the time he should have already been home (meaning I was stuck for the thing I needed to cook dinner and no time to walk to the shop myself now)
Plus I cant help but think that 'stuck in traffic' is just another excuse really. He could have made the effort to get up and leave earlier this morning knowing how I am feeling and that I have no car. I bet they still found time to stop somewhere and have a nice lunch Angry

It sounds so petty though to be so cross at the fact he got stuuck in traffic grrrr

OP posts:
altinkum · 06/02/2011 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QOD · 06/02/2011 16:34

Nooooooooo he's on the jolly now Altinkum.

Grrrrrrrrr to him

TallulahDoesTheHula · 06/02/2011 16:36

Sorry for not being clear.
He has been away for last 3 weeks. Got back Wednessday and went away again yesterday first thing on a stag do, so yes he is on a jolly.

I know its not his fault he had a long work trip and it happened to be just at the same time I am feeling really shit, but he does know just how bad I am feeling and said he'd make an effort to get back from his jolly at a reasonable time so as not to use up the whole weekend.
It hasnt worked out like that, which is why I am cross reallly

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 06/02/2011 16:36

I would be pissed off too

Shakirasma · 06/02/2011 16:41

YABU you seem resentful of his work trip because you were stuck th home alone, be to get opportunities like that he must have worked veer hard to get where he is and should be allowed to enjoy the fruits of his labour.

The stag do is a separate issue, it's not his fault it fell so soon after his work trip. It's a one off and I would be hoping he had a blooming good time.

He can't help it if he got stuck in traffic and yes he could have left earlier, but if the rest of the guys weren't ready that early then it's understandable that he didn't want to leave while his mates were all still there.

jenga079 · 06/02/2011 16:42

I'd be cross too. Probably unreasonably, but it's hard not to be jealous/disappointed when you feel like you're getting the raw deal. Maybe reword it as 'missing him' rather than being p-d off though? Not worth spending what time you do have left of the weekend fighting.

Can you arrange some time out for you in return? A massage if you're not feeling too sick for it? Or just a few hours 'off' to spend with girlfriends?

Oh, and don't cook dinner. Surely the least you deserve is a takeaway? Wink

HecateQueenOfWitches · 06/02/2011 17:07

"stuck in traffic" is likely code for "didn't set off until just now" or even "not set off yet"

MorticiaAddams · 06/02/2011 17:22

I wouldn't have let him take the car. We share a car too and if Gomez goes away for a weekend jolly then he has to either get a lift with somebody else or take the train.

trixie123 · 06/02/2011 18:17

YANBU. Its not unreasonable that he went on either trip but I would like to think that DP would make some kind of concession to my situation and either leave me with car or make damm sure he was home by lunch (even 3pm is most of sunday so even if he was on time he has still left you to get on with it for longer than he needed to.) He COULD have left much earlier and then he wouldn't have caught in traffic either.

Gemsy83 · 06/02/2011 18:24

Sorry but I cant stand this martyr mum 'Im at home looking after the kids whilst feeling sick with morning sickness' crap. Either dont keep breeding with these selfish men or put up with it as you agreed to it!

DuelingFanjo · 06/02/2011 18:27

where's the traffic jam? check here

Takeresponsibility · 06/02/2011 18:28

Stuck in traffic, on a Sunday? I'd be looking at the travel reports to see if there had been an accident on his route in which case I'd have a nice cup of tea and a ham sandwich ready for him when he came in (and booked a spa weekend for myself next weekend he was off).

If there is no evidence of a jam then I wouldn't be arsed discussing it with him but I'd book the most expensive treatments at the spa and he'd be paying for them.

PrincessScrumpy · 06/02/2011 18:41

I've got terrible morning sickness and have been violently ill all weekend - dh decided not to go and play football this afternoon for 2 hours so he could stay and look after me and dd1.

I have been out with dd today and while I took her out, dh did the housework!

I'm afraid your dh is being an arse. DH is going to watch football tomorrow night with my dad so won't be home until late and often works late and on Sundays, but he always pulls his weight.

DH would be getting a very cold reception from me if he acted like your dh. Good luck!

shakey1500 · 06/02/2011 19:34

YABU to be pissed off with him. However, in your position, I would also be booking a weekend away for myself :)

ilovesooty · 06/02/2011 20:30

If he has the car it's probably a good thing he didn't set off earlier: he might well not have been fit to drive.

bubblewrapped · 06/02/2011 20:34

If he was travelling with others, then he may have had to wait for them to be ready too.

Could you not have made it to the corner shop yourself?

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