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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sleeping Baby/Child in Car

99 replies

QueenSconetta · 06/02/2011 15:12

Before I start can I just caveat this by saying I HAVEN'T done this as was very unsure but...

What do you think about leaving child (14.5 months in this case but not really relevant) sleeping in the car:

In the driveway at home
WITH A BATTERY POWERED BABY MONITOR (that bit v important)
Wrapped up nice and warm so they won't be cold
Quiet cul-de-sac street with very little passing traffic
Very nosey neighbours across the road

while you going inside (with the other half of the monitor) rather than sitting in the car with them.

Car to house transfer not really an option as will almost certainly wake up and really need the nap.

Thoughts please and thank you.

(Posted in parenting as well then thought this poss better home)

OP posts:

GwendolineMaryLacey · 07/02/2011 07:06

I have to park on the street and as I said above, I've spent hours sitting out in the car with dd while she sleeps. I did start sleeping myself to catch up until the day I was prodded through the open car window by one of a group of about 4 people who clustered round the car and thought I was dead! I don't know who was more embarrassed

littlebylittle · 07/02/2011 07:22

I would. Almost as described in your post, can't relax without monitor. But thankfully at the moment ds will transfer to his cot if all the timings are spot on.

falsemessageoflethargy · 07/02/2011 07:54

Yes I still do it occasionally with dd now and shes nearly 3 if we have been out for lunch with a friend and she has fallen asleep 5 mins from home - I will leave her in there another 20 mins but we are on a very quiet street - almost stepford like and we have big bay windows and the car is right outside them on the drive iyswim (which is quite a way from the pavement).

mamadiva · 07/02/2011 07:55

Leece- Personally I could have done with a hell of a lot more than half an hour to myself when DS was a baby (still could now) so it's nothing to do with having a perfect child or being saintly.

Some people just assess the risks and decide it's not for them, some people do. Makes no difference to my life what others do either way but we were asked our own thoughts and that is what people have done, noone is saying they are saintly as far as I know.

Sconetta- As above people were asked their thoughts not their reasoning, I don't really see why justification is needed for not doing it when people can't justify doing it in the first place.

Like I say it's just not for me for many reasons (too hot/cold, baby being frightened, and uncomfy for LO).

There are also the risks of fire, thieves, kidnappers etc but IMO these are few and far between and like others have said could happen at home really so although the risk is probably slightly higher I doubt that would be most people's main concerns IYSWIM.

crazygracieuk · 07/02/2011 08:06

I'd surf on my phone or read until dc woke up.

TurkeyBurgerThing · 07/02/2011 08:23

I've done this plenty of times. We have our own driveway, but even so I fail to see what could go wrong, especially if you are frequently checking on them!

And I'd rather wake them up than waste time sitting in the car with them.

abenstille · 07/02/2011 08:28

I would and have. Saying that, I could never do the transfer to bed either but at around 14 months (mine now 16mths)it just happened. I pick her out of the car seat, she stirs and does a short few cries, i put her over my shoulder with a blanket around her back and loosely over her head a bit so if she starts looking around theres nothing to see. Then walk in house, straight upstairs into dark room and pop in cot. Sometimes she protests for a couple of mins, but is really too sleepy to bother and self settles. I imagine this would only happen at her long nap time though (12-2) and not at the end of a sleep cycle (one hour in). Hope that helps

LifeOfKate · 07/02/2011 08:57

Ooo, I am at those with children who can sleep through being taken out of the car! Even when DS was a newborn he would wake when we brought the whole carseat into the house

I personally wouldn't leave them. I have to park on the road (and it's quite a wide walkway/verge between front gate and the road), I can only see the car from the kitchen window (and even then, not very well) and I don't have a wireless baby monitor. I don't really have worries about safety, but more what someone else mentioned about them being scared if they woke up alone in the car and nobody was there, especially if I then didn't check again for another 5 minutes. There is no way I could hear him from the house, even with windows/doors open on both car and house.

I have sat in the car with a book/magazine, it's actually quite pleasant to have a bit of peace to sit and read and not feel like I have to rush around doing housework :o

LifeOfKate · 07/02/2011 09:00

abenstille - funny you should say about sleep cycles, I actually have to be quiet around the end of DS's sleep cycle when he's having his 2 hour nap in the house or he wakes up... starting to think maybe I have a particularly light sleeper on my hands

CluckyKate · 07/02/2011 09:01

I also would and have.

I've got horses and our daily routine involved a visit to the stables twice a day to muck-out etc. From quite an early age I would park as close to my stable as possible, in the shade with windows slightly open and leave DD in the car if she was asleep so I could crack on with my chores. One of the dogs got very attached to her and would stand guard while she slept

I would also leave her in the car while I paid for petrol and, shock horror, when I nipped into the village post office to pick up a newspaper.

MollysChambers · 07/02/2011 09:06

I would. We live in the country and the car is parked at the back of the house. Consider the risk to be zero.

howmuchyousay · 07/02/2011 09:13

I have recently disregarded all my prejudices and discovered drive through mcdonalds. Their coffee is actually quite nice. You can sit in the car park :o

At hine, we have our own driveway but it's open to a busy road. I either dash and and get my laptop, as the wireless reaches, ring some friends or, last week as it wasn't too cold, I left the fr

howmuchyousay · 07/02/2011 09:15

I have recently disregarded all my prejudices and discovered drive through mcdonalds. Their coffee is actually quite nice. You can sit in the car park :o

At hine, we have our own driveway but it's open to a busy road. I either dash and and get my laptop, as the wireless reaches, ring some friends or, last week as it wasn't too cold, I left the front door open while I sorted the shoe rack in the hall and mopped the floor.

I say it depends on where the car is, how secluded the driveway etc. I personally don't like leaving the car out of sight.

Do leave them when I pay for petrol though.

ladela · 07/02/2011 09:18

I wouldn't - when I was a kid a car set on fire on our corner, nobody was in it, and hadn't been all afternoon! (the owner was at a footie match). Probably would have done though if I hadn't witnessed that.

littlebylittle · 07/02/2011 09:20

The transfer stage is a blissful little, all too short, phase. It does take precision timing though- has to be asleep at least ten mins and no longer than twenty or it all goes pear shaped. And can't be any noise on street. Am on tenterhooks on the way up the stairs then when he rolls over onto his tummy I know I'm home and dry! Even asked some workmen just outside our house to stop for a minute when I came home last week. Bless them, they did- I could have kissed them but made them a coffee instead!! But I know the days of in car naps are coming back- he woke up one say last week despite best efforts!

Pseudo341 · 07/02/2011 11:32

DD five months not only wakes if car seat is moved but also if door is opened and closed, am hoping she'll grow out of that last one but at the moment I'm stuck waiting in the car. Once she's in a forward facing car seat so I can see her clearly from inside I'll probably leave her on her own, assuming I can escape without waking her. Not saying I wouldn't otherwise, but I'm pleased we have blacked out windows at the back so you have to look in through the windscreen to be able to see anything.

I am increadibly jealous of all these movable sleeping babies, I spend an hour every morning pinned to the sofa while DD takes her morning nap on my lap because that's the only way it happens.

SoupDragon · 07/02/2011 12:01

There appears to me some misunderstandig on this thread - Certainly when I've done it, it is for the benefit of the child, not me so the "I could never relax" argument is irrelevant. I check on them far more often if they are in the car than I would in the house so it certainly isn't relaxing for me and that' s not why I do it. I didn't want the foul, miserable woken up child that would have resulted if I'd move them. the boys were fairly good about being moved though, DD was not.

I would say the risks of a car catching fire are failure equal to the risks of a fox coming in your house and mauling your child and/or an electrical fire in the bedroom.

BuzzLightBeer · 07/02/2011 12:06

overheating? in the UK ins FEBRUARY? More examples here of peoples seeming inability to judge risk.

Carrotsandcelery · 07/02/2011 12:09

I used to do this but could see into car from our living room window. We are in a cul - de - sac and the car was on a driveway, well away from the road.

If it was warm I would leave all the car doors open but if it was hot obviously I had to move them.

I would generally take the opportunity to phone my mum and sit staring into the car while I did it. (the phone didn't work in the car)

babybarrister · 07/02/2011 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amateurish · 07/02/2011 12:27

Do this all the time - kids asleep in the car on the driveway. Can see their faces from the house. Only in the winter though - cars get much too hot in the summer.

littlebylittle · 07/02/2011 12:30

Drive through mcdonalds great too- buy five get one free!

Original poster

QueenSconetta · 07/02/2011 20:22

and a bit absentille has a 16 month old who will sleep 4 hours in the day!!

OP posts:

burnsie · 07/02/2011 20:42

I would have done when mine were tiny BUT my friend did this next to her house in similar conditions but her camper van was on the road next to the house.
She didn't know the brake was faulty. Both van and child went hurtling though her neighbour's kitchen.
Thankfully no damage done to the kid but plenty to the house and van.
It's like most grown up stuff isn't it? You just have to do a mini risk assessment and do whatever feels comfortable.

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