To have doubts about dd going away with family we don't know?

[oneofsuesylvesterscheerios]

Posted earlier on WWYD but twas suggested I post here.

Classmate of dd1 has asked her to go with her to a weekend away in a few weeks time. She's only known this girl since Sept but has 1)never mentioned her 2)never been to her house 3)asked her over, so we don't know the parents at all.

I'm sure they're very nice (I know the dad will have a crb because of his job and he works with young people but this is kind of by-the-by anyway, it's not the point). Think girl is an only child and I can see why she and parents would like her to have a friend with her as there will be activities, etc.

dd1 really wants to go but we've told her we're still thinking about it. I briefly met the dad the other day and I said we'd like to have his duaghter over to play and then we could all have a chat when they come to pick her up maybe?

But I'm generally coming down on the side of No. WWYD?

I'd say no, actually, and I'm pretty laid back. My DD(9 too) loves sleepovers, but to go away for a weekend is not really on if you don't know them. You're not being unreasonable. You'd only be sick with nerves for the whole time.

Their DD isn't your responsibility - they should be used to entertaining her by now. Surely they've got family friends or someone closer they could take instead. I'd give them notice now so that they had time to find someone else. And be upfront.. you could explain that you haven't known them for long, and perhaps the girls could get together at yours a few times later on in the year. Especially a bad idea if they haven't spent any time together out of school, and you've no idea if they'd get on in that context. Imagine if they fell out (9 seems to be a classic age for girls to have love/hate relationships with their friends, for some reason.)

Just had another thought - the problem here could be that they're going away rather than your DD just going for a sleepover at their house. If there's a problem and she wants to come home, she can't. (Sorry, don't mean to frighten you, but that's the reality of it.)

No, am in a bit of a mood, sorry! Lots of shit going on and not your fault at all..

I apologise. I ought to have done it sooner.

At 9 they go away with brownies, cubs, school trips - after meeting the parents a few times - which you have time to do, if I was happy with the parents I would agree with no hesitation! If dd wants to go and is failry used to staying away from home.

It's only a weekend, allthe DCs 9 yo friends stay with each other's famlies.

But of course you need to get to know the family a bit.

LittleMHF - no worries!

Yes, agree with what you say in principle Veggie, but she's not actually been on any overnighters with Brownies, school etc. yet, only on day trips.

She's been away with dh's parents but they know her inside out and that's a bit different I think. I'm so torn about this - it's a great opportunity and I really don't want to make it into a big deal... and yet, even if we meet the parents it will only be at most twice before they are due to go away. Do I really feel OK with entrusting my pfb with them for 3 nights??

No I don't, sadly, and I'm just going to have to go with my gut instinct. You're all right - only I know what dd1 would be like and I think it's too big a step right now. Shame. Oh well.

jusy go with your motherly instincts, and if you get to know them better and she is older, well fine

noone will be harmed if she does not go, just say you dont think she is ready