I know this has probably been done to death, but couldn't find what I was looking for in search.
You know when some people behave in a way that appears so natural to them, ie, they don't bat an eyelid at the time, well that makes me wonder if IABU or not.
I have a friend, who I don't see so much of now, because of her constant boasting/oneupmanship. She is still on my FB, so still in contact, but only see her about once a fortnight now, and very rarely during day.
She has lots of friends and is always in and out of people's houses so she really cant be that bad can she?
Her whole conversation is made up of:
asking me what I think of her new boots/coat etc
telling me what her b/f is going to buy for her next. (This visit, it's a new car even though boyfriends car is 16 years old, an iphone and a new tv not a huge one like mine though because thats crass 
)
Her b/f lives at the other end of the blardy country and has promised her many things that she hasn't got, including things she has needed. When he has let her down in the past, she just puts it out of her mind and goes onto the next desired purchase. No one AFAIK mentions it again.
What sale she is going to next, where it is and what she's going to buy for her gorgeous wonderful DC.
Her DC are beautiful, but they are quite blunt and dare I say it...rude. Her youngest DC actually comes to my face and says 'Your DD disgusts me, wipe her face now.' pulls me up on imagined mispronounced words, and goes through my house pointing out 'disgusting' things that make him feel sick.
He doesn't share, and tells DD she is ugly, nasty, and he hates her etc etc. (He is 5, DD is 2)
My friend just sits there laughing at him, and says 'That's my boy, you can see he's my boy can't you?'
I just smile thinly.
She is having a few problems with her DS screaming in teachers faces, and refusing to work in school, as well as saying he is ill whenever he wants to go home (friend told them he was not ill, just wanted to come home).
I just don't know why we cant be friends and support each other.
Same friend has taken the piss out of my clothes in front of another friend, Friend A, who hadn't even noticed what I was wearing until then, but then started laughing, making me feel really self conscious. I didn't have anything wacky on, just a pair of blue trousers. 
Friend does tell other people things about me, but I admit, I didn't specifically say at the time that I didn't want my relationship breakdown in all it's finest detail broadcast to friend A.
I do feel I cant trust her to keep things to herself, so I dont tell her much anymore, and we could kind of rub along and be friends, and see each other once a fortnight if she weren't so damn competitive. If I ever mention I have bought anything, she sneers at it, has already told me infront of Friend A again, that my frontroom is awful, that I should do XXX and XXX to change it.
It has got better since I distanced myself from her, but why oh why oh why does this friend pour scorn on other people's choice of home/furnishings/clothes/cars/lives, believing hers is superior. I wouldn't insult someone else's home by pointing out all I didn't like about it, in the name of 'telling the truth'.
Is there a point where telling the truth turns into being rude and pointless?
Friend just says she is being honest, and is proud of this fact.
If I was honest, I'd really upset her, and fall out with her.
Why do people do this??
One more thing, her DS has been smoking for a year and she told me about this last time I saw her, she is buying his cigarettes for him. I just said 'Oh, I didn't know he smoked, how long has he been smoking for?'
She replied 'A year, and anyway, when did you start smoking? I'll bet you were younger than my DS, so don't think of being a hypocrite. You can't say it's wrong if you did it yourself blah blah blah' I told her that I was not underage, didn't get my mum to buy my cigs for me, and would be teaching my DC not to make the same mistakes as I had, and if that makes me a hypocrite, then so bloody be it.'
I'm not saying I will be any more successful than friend, but she seems proud that her DS smokes. She was grinning like a cheshire cat whilst telling me.
Other than that, when I have been down/depressed, friend has been there, so would rather not fall out with her.
Any idea's on how to handle this?
AIBU to think most people don't behave like this? I seem to be the only one of our friends who thinks like this, another reason for believing it is just me being oversensitive. I have been there when friend has ripped into another friends clothes etc, and although they look embarrassed, they just laugh it off, and remain friends. Is it just me who can't seem to treat it like water off a ducks back?
I can't imagine there's many people who would like to be gossiped about behind their backs, but maybe they think Friend only does that to others, not them.
Can anyone make sense of this type of behaviour? Where am I going wrong for her to speak to me like she does?