to not want my mum to look after my children while im in hospital

[bumparoo]

ok so my mum is going on all hard done by because iv arranged for a friend to care for my 3 children while im in hospital having baby, but the truth is i just dont trust her the one time in 7 years that i let her look after my son was because he wasnt well and i didnt want to take him on the school run so asked mum 2 watch him for 20mins when i came back he was on the communal stairs trying to get my 2 dogs back into the house.....sorry need to continue wiv another message as im on phone....

You know best. If you don't think your Mmum cn be trusted then you're probably right.

It's hard on her....bt you could say "Oh they're bloody hard work and grannies aren't for telling them off...grannies should only do the nice bits."

Your children don't sound like they know her, she doesn't have them so doesn't know their ins and outs, YANBU asking your friend.

If your mum's determined to come over all offended because you've not asked her, tough, let her get on with it.

Tell her you don't need any extra stress as you've got enough already.

The last thing you want is your attention to be divided between having your baby and worrying about your other DC.

Well if you've only left your mother alone with your children once in seven years, I suppose it would be rather peculiar to suddenly allow her the chance to look after them. But it sounds a rather sad state of affairs all round, to be honest.

....obvously that made me see red abit as i had heard dogs from round the corner so surely my mum could hear them aswell, i got into the house and asked her why my son was outside in his pj's with the dogs, her reply was i asked him to open the door cos i thought i heard a knock.WTF! that could of been anyone at door and she didnt even notice my son was gone anything could of happened...i told her she would never look after my kids again, so why is she making such a fuss now?

....obvously that made me see red abit as i had heard dogs from round the corner so surely my mum could hear them aswell, i got into the house and asked her why my son was outside in his pj's with the dogs, her reply was i asked him to open the door cos i thought i heard a knock.WTF! that could of been anyone at door and she didnt even notice my son was gone anything could of happened...i told her she would never look after my kids again, so why is she making such a fuss now?

How old are your children?

my mum does know them quite well she sees them at least once a fortnight and usually stays the night, its not that she dont kno how to play with them or anything its just that she is very lazy(she was watching tv when son opened door) and she dont think about sticking 2 routine she would just let them fend for themselves...no bath or teeth brushing for bed etc, i want to kno my kids r going school in a clean ironed uniform and want my house 2b fairly tidy wen i come home, which my friend & dp can manage

It's easy to forget just how high maintenence smaller children can be.

It doesn't make her crap that she doesn't do what you do with them, that's the best thing about GP when your a child, you can get away with all kinds of crap

But it's the safety thing, it's something you can't really risk to shut your mum up is it?

they are 7 6 and 4
i feel like im being ungrateful as i do have a good relationship with her otherwise, and i know thier are mums to be that would kill to have thier mum around to help out, i get the feeling she feels abit like a spare part because she hasnt really got a role to play so i asked her if she wanted to come baby shopping hoping that helps abit