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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'we' don't do valentines but Ainu to hope just once to get a romantic surprise.

19 replies

zanz1bar · 05/02/2011 18:40

Anyone else feel the same, secretly, deep down really would love a big romantic pointless and expensive gesture.
I know it's all a big marketing exercise and shallow and gimmick ridden. We celebrate other anniversaries that really matter . And I know that if that's what I want I should just bloody well ask, but...

OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 05/02/2011 18:44

YANBU to hope for it but I suspect you might be a wee bit U if you're expecting anything if you and your significant other have an agreement otherwise :)

WimpleOfTheBallet · 05/02/2011 18:48

YABU to hope but not to hint!

I hint. I know DH wouldn't bother otherwise...he won't know it matters to me unless I let him know. Well I dont have to let him know now...it took around 2 years of training.

lovechoc · 05/02/2011 18:51

YABU - it's all just a marketing ploy for saps to spend more money.

Besides, we have our wedding anniversary the following week so it seems a bit daft to celebrate Valentine's Day.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 05/02/2011 19:00

Nope. Not even a tiny speck of hankering.

imo, it's a pile of unromantic shite. An obligation to make a Romantic Gesture.

Not romantic at all to be romantic on a set day of the year that everyone is instructed to be romantic.

MrsGrahamBellForTheSkiSeason · 05/02/2011 19:03

Lovechoc - hear-hear! We stay in on Valentines cuddled up on the sofa and snigger at people deluded enough to waste their money on crowded places, and buying over-priced pink tat. Yes, if you're a teenager its fun (for some) but for anyone over 19 - sad! Surely you have your own special days?
Yesterday DH suprised me with the gift of a ski-helmett, not very romantic, you might think, but he said he doesn't want me hurt if I fall over backwards again like last time Blush and apparently it was the anniversary of when he first decided he as goin to marry me HmmGrin Total fabrication of course, he often comes out with blarney like that, but worth a lot more to me than 'Valentine's which is not even pretend special to us.

Original poster
zanz1bar · 05/02/2011 20:44

As the title says, we don't do valentines day, and if anyone asks in real life I have a fantastic line about how great the tv dinner for a cozy two is.
But come on don't you just get a little bit of excited hope that just maybe, maybe a bunch of hot house flowers from ripoff.com is coming your way.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 05/02/2011 20:51

no.

Honestly not.

In fact, it was me who told my husband to not bother with all that shit because it annoys the crap out of me.

So no. I don't even have a tiny wish for it. imo, being romantic because you know it is expected of you - is meaningless.

And I don't want meaningless gestures.

mutznutz · 05/02/2011 20:53

No I truly don't.

If my Husband were to suddenly surprise me on any other day..it would mean far more to me. If he chose Valentine's to do it, I'd assume he felt under some sort of pressure.

Original poster
zanz1bar · 05/02/2011 20:54

Oh god I am so shallow!
Just know I would get hysterically excited and weep like an Oscar winner if I got a bunch of rafts.

OP posts:
Original poster
zanz1bar · 05/02/2011 20:55

Should be a bunch of daffs.
iPad has a mind of it's own .

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 05/02/2011 20:56

So tell him.

Is it that you want flowers specifically on feb 14th, or is it that you would like some more romance in your life?

Original poster
zanz1bar · 05/02/2011 21:03

Oh a hell off a lot more romance but Like many couples you take your positions years ago, we don't do that, it's all gimmicks, it's for sado people who don't know the true meaning of love yadda yadda yadda, then you realise as everyone else starts to pack their bags to Paris that actually you would like that too.
Brutally honest, and yes I will let dh know how I feel and how I have gone and changed the goal posts again, well keeps him on his toes suppose.
Just wondered if anyone else spouting the who cares a shit about one lousy day, secretly does care, just a little bit.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 05/02/2011 21:15

It would appear not. Grin

Gemsy83 · 05/02/2011 23:27

I always say lets not bother waste of money etc but feel Sad when someone in the street had a huge bunch of flowers delivered and wish he'd get me some despite me saying dont bother its a waste. A surprise would be lovely. I'd be even happier if it was a random day tbh as me being the moaning cow I am would probably call him an idiot for spending more money on a bunch of flowers that cost a lot less the day before!

igetmorelovefromthecat · 05/02/2011 23:42

My first serious boyfriend (I was 16) drove all the way from his house (over 100 miles) and back again to put a dozen roses on my doorstep before I woke up for school on Valentines Day. Didn't stop, just left the roses and went again.

Sadly in the last 15 years I can't recall any of my other partners really bothering. Can't say I get too upset about it though tbh.

BluddyMoFo · 05/02/2011 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrailMix · 05/02/2011 23:52

Arrange a big, romantic, expensive gesture for him. If you want to shift the goalposts, then get up and start shifting!

TrailMix · 05/02/2011 23:53

X-posted Bluddy

scottishmummy · 05/02/2011 23:54

not fusssed about valentines.birthdays,anniversaries more significant.more personal to us

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