Dh and I both have colds and nasty coughs...

[Carrotsandcelery]

guess who has done the laundry, got washed, got ds to get dressed and is getting ready to take ds out to his activity?
Guess who is lounging on the sofa in dressing gown watching tv?
Am I being unreasonable to be a bit miffed?

Tell him that tomorrow he is getting up and you are having a lie-in.

well to be fair..

did you ask him to help?

did he offer to help?

did you tell him to do any of it?

or are you just being a martyr and suffering on in silence, seething about it...

That's a bit unfair bubblewrapped
She shouldn't have to 'ask' or have him 'offer'.
Its his child too.
She is not being unreasonable, or being a martyr, just wondering if its unreasonable to be miffed that only one of them is bothering to do the chores.

Why on earth should she have asked him to any of it?

I suppose she should ask him if he's being a cheeky twat trying it on by doing nothing.

Do you normally do most of the stuff around the house OP?

If you do, he might just think you enjoy doing it

Kick him up the arse.

No, you shouldnt have to ask, but if I was getting miffed about it, I would have no qualms about saying to my husband "oi, they are your kids too, get off yer arse and help out"...

then if he said no, I would be more justified in being miffed...

Agree with Bubble if you want help..ask for it.

Agree with Bubble if you want help..ask for it.

Oooh I agreed twice lol...

Same here. I've got tonsillitis and sinusitis (thankfully on its way out) and looks like dh probably has the same except he's not pregnant so can take things to help.

Only in this house dh has done everything. He insisted though. I haven't lifted a finger for days.

Is it always this way?

If you just got up and did everything without saying anything then he is probably assuming that you feel much better than he does to be honest.
If you said 'come on, get up and do half this stuff that needs doing then we can BOTH get a rest as I feel just as bad as you' and he still hasnt got up to help out, THEN you can feel miffed and he is being an arse!

He is normally great and we have agreed that I don't ask him to do as it makes him stroppy - we have agreed that he just does anyway which is even better. He knows I am not fine as I have been wretching over the toilet from coughing so much. He is just being pathetic as he has the cold and feels sorry for himself.

He seems to have pulled himself together now though as I took dd with me to ds activity and when I got back lots of housework jobs had been done.

He might be forgiven...

Carrotsandcelery, I could have started this thread myself (in fact I did write a rant about DH on this subject last Monday).

I am 12 weeks pg and last weekend had raging morning sickness on top of cold but, yes, 'twas DH who stayed in bed whilst I looked after DD. Until the point where I literally could not stand up any more, then he was forced to take over (maybe you should feign something?).

My DH has gone to work Monday-Friday this week, worked long hours every day and come home complaining about how ill he is and hacking up his lungs, yet refused to go to the GP (he can go to a private GP at work if needed).

Last night he claimed he was so ill he might need to go to A&E...until the point I got the car keys and said I'd drive him. Then he backed down. Have also spent all day today trying to get him to go to NHS walk-in centre, but he has refused.

Luckily we've got my parents staying this weekend so they are doing most of care for DD whilst DH malingers and I get a break mostly reading Mumsnet. Otherwise I think I might have killed him by now!

(Oh and BTW, he did the same thing over Christmas. DD didn't care but I got f**k all sleep with him hacking away next to me and was sick of his moaning.)

Glad to hear your DH has redeemed himself somewhat, am waiting for mine to do the same!

Oh dear 295 it all sounds very familiar. My dh is lovely until he is ill or I am ill and at his worst if we are both ill at the same time. He just doesn't do ill
His mum is the same too.
I don't expect to be pandered to if we are both ill but it seemed fair to me that we do a bit each.
He did make pudding tonight though so I think, for now, he is excused.
Has your dh tried Actifed tablets at night? They seem to dry things up and reduce the cough at night time a bit.
I wish you a peaceful night's sleep and a more helpful dh in the morning.

maybe he thinks you OP are faffing around on the internet, so obviously nothing needs doing :)

Tee hee - I went to faff on the internet once the jobs were done.
He is now pulling out nose hairs whilst sitting on the sofa. I think I might sleep in the spare room

DH went and got a Chinese takeaway...he has partly redeemed himself!

Oh, and a packet of Mini Eggs, my current craving.

Sounds like my DH. He always has everything so much worse than me! Is your DH making that funny groaning noise men always make when they're ill?

Oooohhh- man flu!

I was ill just before christmas. Still managed to do school runs with my 4 year old, go to her carol concert and nativity play, look after a then 6 month old, housework, cooking, laundry, shopping etc. Just got on with it as he was working.
Oh and also looked after the 2 kids when they came down with it as well.

Then he got it- and could hardly move from the bed, was moaning constantly ,reckoned he "felt like he was dying"

Just told him to do it quietly and "loudly" went on doing all the usual stuff