to think that enthusiastic sex twice a month is plenty when you're a working mum to 3 year old twins!

[vixen1]

Opinions please...

I'm on anti-d's because of the difficulties of dealing with one of our boys who has special needs so my libido is low from the side effects.

I make a special effort at least twice a month and engage enthusiastically.

MY (D)H is "worried" about our marriage on this basis...

WTF? Or AIBU?

Yes the working Mum with 3 kids thing is neither here nor there IMO

Men do worry about lack of sex more- he might be worried you dont love him or find him attractive anymore rather than worrying he isnt getting enough

Yes...what Balia said...he works and parents too I hope?

If he does, then maybe he needs to take the load off you more OP?

I think Balia was making the point that he is in same boat as OP eg he works and is parent

i agree that no one can prescribe the perfect amount of sex, all relationships are different and go through different phases. BUT i think a lot of men (and women) would and do find one or two times a month pretty hard going.
maybe it's not a deal breaker, but it can lead to big problems, IMO.
just like it might not be acceptable for one partner to go out x times a week - the same idea applies that there are thresholds of unacceptable behaviour.

I know that cybo...I worded my words wrongly!

Imeant that if he works r doesn't work she is obviously not feeling the lurve...so he needs to help her more...she's not getting enough rest or something...not sure what.

Going off sex for a while when you're exhausted/ under stress/ run down isn't 'unacceptable behaviour' lol- it's called life

Crikey, no wonder the divorce rates are so high

Hi all, thanks for your replies and advice.

I have loads more to add as I didn't give enough detail about our situation in the original post but I'll have to leave it there because I've just realised I completely forgot to change my username and my husband checks up on my posts.

I just didn't want to create a post and "run" without thanking you all for your input.

FWIW the phrase "engage enthusiastically" perhaps sounds a bit off but what I really mean is that I instigate and we have a fantastic time (in my husband's own words)

Thanks

Now taht youve wrote your post about not changing your name, im more concerned that your DH checks up on your posts? Wtf? Whats that all about, you have a right to privacy surely!

And I dont necessarily think that anti-ds can affect your interest in sex - its more likely to be the illness you are trying to treat in the first place, the deprssion thas causing a lack of interest on your part.

Well I think that's plenty unless that's the only form of intimacy and affection between you...

We're at about once a month at the moment and we don't have kids!

Why on earth is your husband snooping on your posts????? that would be more of an issue to me than the amount of sex.

My husband wouldnt have a clue what my username is here, nor would I tell him.

It's not about how often you do it, it's about how you FEEL about doing it. If you have to force yourself to be enthusiastic, you have a problem within your relationship.

That's not aimed at the OP by the way, just a generalised opinion.

bubblewrapped, thats exactly what I think, makes it sound an altogether different kettle of fish tbh.

What on earth is going on in your relationship OP that drives your DH to do this, it sounds like theres trust and control issues on his part , and if you are aware of this is it affecting how you feel about him and your desire to have a sexual relationship with him?