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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What Wold You have Done?

36 replies

fishtankneedscleaning · 04/02/2011 21:27

Ok. I need to rant!

My dd (9) has friends over to play after school. She is also invited to play at theirs.

This evening I had a mother knock my door (Who I had never seen before). She said "My daughter woould like to come to play with your daughter but she has never been asked. I know that (your dd) asks other children over and my dd feels out of it".

By this time I must have looked stupid because I was standing with my mmouth open and did not know what to say (I was speechless!)

My dd has never mentioned this child!

She went on to say "I will speak to my dd and tell her she can come to tea with (your dd) next Monday ok?" I said, "My dd will not be available nex Monday as she has been invited to a friends home for tea. If she invites your dd for tea one day your dd will be made to feel welcome". The mum went off in a huff saying, "Yeah that'll be the day when my dd is invited. As a neighbour you should make sure our DC get the opportunity to play together".

My dd has never been invited to hers for tea!!

AIBU in thinking this mum is not doing her dd any favours?

OP posts:

fifi25 · 05/02/2011 11:54

I agree, its very strange. Why would you leave your daughter with somone you dont even know. Its such a shame for the daughter. If the mothers going on like this people wont want to get involved with her. I bet its happened before with her being so upfront. Might be worth discreetly asking about.

PuppyMonkey · 05/02/2011 11:56

It's all a bit I think, but in answer to the question what would you have done? Shut the door. Carry on with my life.

alicet · 05/02/2011 15:20

I wouldn't talk to your dd about this girl and persuade her to invite her over. She isn't even in the same year and doesn't llive that near either. plus her mum is clearly a chancer - if her agenda was getting friends for her dd surely the way round it would be to invite YOUR dd over not try and invite her to yours. She is clearly after free babysitting, nothing else.

If your dd ever asks to invite this girl over off her own bat without you suggesting it then by all means invite her. Until then if she ever turns up again with these suggestions I would be telling her that you leave it up to your dd to choose her own friends and she will be invited if your dd asks but otherwise not. And although I don't think I'd go as far as telling her to fuck off leave you alone but I wouldn't invite her in again either.

FreudianSlippery · 05/02/2011 15:26

Utterly bizarre! And quite amusing (to read about anyway - I would've been very upset if it happened to me, I don't do confrontation!)

SenoritaViva · 05/02/2011 15:32

Lazily what Hecate says

StealthPolarBear · 05/02/2011 15:37

"Help MNetters. How can I get out of this without being rude to my dd's best friends mum???"

I'm lost - who is your DD's best friend in all this?

Newgolddream · 05/02/2011 15:48

I had to deal with something similar to this a few years back, when a Mum in my street of a boy who was about 3 chapped on my door and was extremely rude, demanding and confrontational ranting and raving demanding to know why I didnt let her son into my garden to play my DS, who was about 5 or 6. I was initially speechless before stating as it was my garden I could invite or not invite who I liked into it.

The reason I didnt want this boy anywhere near my garden as he is completely wild, I had on a few occasions found him in my house, just strolled in. One time we were all in the garden and my DH went into the kitchen and accidentally hit this boy, who had let himself in my front door and hid behind my kitchen door! My DH got a mouthful of abuse when he tried to explain to this boys Mum to.

And the 1 and only time I did let him in the garden ( we have a lot of play equipment such as chute, swings, trampoline etc etc so I often have trail of DSs friends in) he managed to go on some sort of trashing spree and broke several things. Now all children can be clumsy but he was caught deliberately trying to throw some of my DHs flower pots down the chute!

Anyway he obviously has issues, his parents are well known (not by me at the time) as alcoholics, I used to see him taking his trousers down and peeing in the middle of the road to. It was the cheek of his Mum I couldnt believe!!!

StealthPolarBear · 05/02/2011 15:50

but who is the OP's DD's best friend?

LibraPoppyGirl · 05/02/2011 16:01

The OP's DD's best friend is mentioned on the first page. DD's BF's mother, is a neighbour who quite regularly uses the OP as a free babysitter and spoke to the pushy mother saying something along the lines of "go and have a chat with my DD loves going over there to play and have sleepovers". OP feels that DD's BF's mother already uses her as a free babysitter and would like to get out of that situation, but without rocking the boat for her DD. She doesn't what pushy mother to start trying to use her for the same thing, also pushy mother who has just come on the scene by knocking on the door and asking for her DD to be 'invited' over is DD's BF are not friends or even in the same year at school.

Confused? You will be.....LOL

LibraPoppyGirl · 05/02/2011 16:05

I've confused myself at the end of that last post. Okay ignore from....

"also pushy mother who...."

and read instead as follows...."also pushy mother who has just come on the scene by knocking on the door and asking for her DD to 'invited' over, is NOT even friends with OP's DD or even in the same year at school."

NOW are you confused????

StealthPolarBear · 05/02/2011 16:10

Oh I see, I thought the other woman was pushy mother...

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