Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

|To Elope....

12 replies

Boys2mam · 04/02/2011 20:39

....DP and I are planning a small, casual wedding for October. I'm trying to keep it low-key but its still coming in at £3k+.

All I want is to be married. I would love to have all our family and friends there to celebrate with us but if we sneak off and be married in a registry office we could afford a lovely family holiday and a party when we come back.

DP likes the idea but is apprehensive as people think our big day is planned already for October. My parents think its a fab idea and DP's parents, I think, will be fine but we haven't discussed it any further than us just yet.

I wanted to see what you ladies thought; I know the consensus is your day, your rules but is it naff to exclude your nearest and dearest?

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 04/02/2011 20:41

It is not how you do it that matters but what it means to you in the long run.

A nice family holiday and a party sounds good. Why not opt for that and just have your parents there? No other guests?

friedtoacrisp · 04/02/2011 20:42

No YANBU - we did exactly this. Nobody at our Registry Office ceremony bar us and two witnesses who we kind of knew but not really! I simply couldn't bear the thought of pissing up thousands on a huge wedding - it's the vows that matter, nothing else.

Spinkle · 04/02/2011 20:42

I wish we'd done that.

I hated my wedding day. Your plan sounds much nicer.

BBQWidow · 04/02/2011 20:43

We did this too. We get some snidey comments from some people about it (10 years on), but for us it was more about the marriage than the wedding...plus I'd have been deported if we hadn't got married when we did.

To be honest, it set us up more comfortably for now doing it that way.

KangarooCaught · 04/02/2011 20:44

Personally, love the idea of family and friends celebrating with you & making it a fab wedding day, you'll only ever get married the once, whilst presumably in the future you'll have other family holidays? But no right or wrong answer here, just what you would like to do most.

blueberryboybaitonSafari · 04/02/2011 20:48

We got planned to get married and resulted in a huge family row (DH's aunt worried I would upstage her daughter's bridesmaid dress Hmm in my wedding dress) We then booked the registry office and told both sets of parents and a couple of friends we wanted as witnesses 3 days before we were due to marry and said if you want to come please do if you are busy don't worry, we booked lunch at a local posh hotel for lunch after and had an amazing day, DH and I then used the money we would have spent on a house deposit and a fab Carribean honeymoon. No one was put out and we had a BBQ when we got back for everyone else.

Original poster
Boys2mam · 04/02/2011 20:54

Thanks Ladies.

We have 5 siblings and their partners between us plus our parents, auntie, cousins, friends and then double the amount in kids - it makes it an insane amount for a basic wedding party. I love them all and I think they'll understand.

I'm nervous about breaking the news but more so about the "honeymoon" flight with our two year old :)

OP posts:
Rosestonses · 04/02/2011 21:07

My DH and I decided at quite short notice to go to the USA and get married. Luckily a friends parents were in the same city at the same time and were our witnesses.

At the time I did get upset that no 'family' were there - but my DH was!

When we came back we had a lovely church blessing service and lovely family party ( I will take forever to my grave the quote "I've never been to a party with so much champagne" - all because we spent money on celebrating our union rather than the "wedding")

Do what feels right - I have been to too many weddings where money is no object - but it feels like a production line of what should be done rather than what the bride and groom would like.

Good luck

R

Original poster
Boys2mam · 04/02/2011 21:57

I suppose that since we 'announced' our intention we have to include people when we should have just done it and shared our news.

Loving the idea the more I think about it :)

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 04/02/2011 21:59

It's your day and you should do it how you want to.

Hoopsadazy · 04/02/2011 22:06

I did it, was fab. Only had us and our happiness to worry about instead of money and what turned up and what other people thought. Weather was not ideal, but it didn't matter as we could change plans easily as only us two to sort. Wonderful day. Witnesses - one stranger, one acqaintance in the right place at the right time both said was best wedding ever went to! :)

I am really glad we booked a professional photography and went to his studio straight after since we'd made a bit of effort with ourselves and was great to have a record since no one else was there to remind us! Am pleased to have a pic of the day we got married on the mantlepiece.

WinterLover · 05/02/2011 06:24

I'd love to do that, me DP DSD and our DC when it's born... I can't be bothered with the hassle but I'm the only daughter/granddaughter so I know it would break their hearts :(

New posts on this thread. Refresh page