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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how long I am supposed to look after this girl for ?

14 replies

TheOriginalNutcracker · 04/02/2011 17:58

Newish neighbours, hardley know them, have spoken to them twice I think.

Their dd was out in the garden when two of mine were playing on the trampoline, and ds asked if she could come over, so I said yes. This was now 2 hours ago, and dd2 has just told me that the girls dad came out about an hour ago and told the girl that he was just popping out, and that her mom was asleep in bed and not to disturb her.

Hmm

Ds gets on really well with her and so I dont mind, but i can't even feed her as my shopping hasn't turned up yet, and I have no idea at all when the dad will be back.

I would never leave any of my dc somewhere without specifically asking if it was ok. They don't even really know me.

OP posts:
TallulahDoesTheHula · 04/02/2011 17:59

how old is she?
presumably she is able to go home if you say its time to go, she is just not to disturb the mum when she is at home - i'm sure she knows how to get a snack/watch tv until her dad gets back
send her back if you've had enough and want your DC inside

QuintessentialShadows · 04/02/2011 18:00

Not your problem when dad is back, neither that mum is asleep.
You ring the doorbell and ask to speak to mum. Tell her it is time for her dd to go home, but she can come back another day.

Rhadegunde · 04/02/2011 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 04/02/2011 18:01

How old? Just send her back and see someone answers the door.

unfitmother · 04/02/2011 18:01

Send her back! Shock

Original poster
TheOriginalNutcracker · 04/02/2011 18:02

I don't know if she will be able to get in, unless the door is on the latch.

If no one has come for her by half 6 I will go with her and knock the door loudly.

She is 8

OP posts:
SoftKittyWarmKitty · 04/02/2011 18:03

Out of order imo (the neighbour, not you). You haven't said how old they all are but personally I'd knock on the neighbour's door and tell the mother that the dad has gone out and left her DD in your garden, and that you are about to start your evening meal/bedtime routine, so you thought she'd be ready for her tea but she's welcome to come over to play again another time.

Although the dad told the DD not to wake the mother up, you didn't hear him say that so it's perfectly reasonable that you'd knock on the door. Especially as he didn't even ask.

thumbdabwitch · 04/02/2011 18:03

Agree! if your DC need to come in for their meal, then she needs to go home, regardless of the somnolent state of her mother. Ring on the doorbell and make her go back, nicely of course, but firmly.

How very jolly rude of the father to do that without asking you! The cheek of some people...

Butternutsquash22 · 04/02/2011 18:08

Did you actually see the dad popping out? Or arriving back?

Maybe they decided to use the time to have some undisturbed 'alone time' and are both actually in...?

Just a thought because tbh, this explanation is less weird than what they have actually said they've done!

Fimbo · 04/02/2011 18:09

As someone talking from experience, you need to nip this in the bud now, Nutty otherwise you will just get taken advantage of.

bubblewrapped · 04/02/2011 18:12

So the mum is having a nap.. dad has said be quiet when you go home.

I dont see the problem really. If there was an emergency she could just wake her mum up.

mutznutz · 04/02/2011 18:12

Ask the child if she has a key. If she hasn't then knock on the door and return her when you want to.

Honestly, these things really are only has hard as you make them.

Original poster
TheOriginalNutcracker · 04/02/2011 18:28

She's gone now. I got dd to take her back when my shopping turned up.

Dd said the mum answered the door and said thank's for having her.

Oh the dad had defo gone out and still is out.

I don't mind her being here, i'd just like to be asked really.

OP posts:
Ripeberry · 04/02/2011 18:39

We used to have a 3yr old that came over to our house one day, all by himself (knew him from pre-school).
He played with my daughter whilst I went round to the mum's house (2 doors down) to tell her that he son was with me.

She was not answering the door and I could see she was fast asleep on the sofa!
Opened the door and shouted "Hello" and this made her jump, told her about her son wandering over to our house and she just said "Oh, let himself out again?"
I was just a bit Shock.

But to cut a long story short, he is now 9yrs old and he still comes over every evening until 5.30pm, which I don't mind as he is well behaved and company for my two girls.

Not sure if I still want him over when he's a teenager Hmm

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