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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think dcs are better off with actually very little?

21 replies

alligatorpurse · 04/02/2011 17:28

Obviously I don't mean not enough food or clothes etc. Obviously.

But I've come to the conclusion that the more my dcs get, the more they complain. Today, for example, they each got a balloon at a school event, made into something. The balloon man made several different animals and other impressive things and handed them out randomly. One of mine was happy, the other 3 complained all the way home that they wanted their balloon to be X when actually they got Y.

If there had been no balloon man, they would have just charged around doing nothing in particular and gone home happy.

I hate the idea that they might be spoilt. Treats should be occasional imo, but kids seem to get so much these days. Or am I really bah humbug and need to chill out?

OP posts:

Schnitzel · 04/02/2011 17:38

I think you're talking sense. You can apply the same principle to the adult world too. The more choice and "stuff" there is, the more I believe people actually become unhappier.

EveWasFramed72 · 04/02/2011 17:41

I agree. My DH and I have been careful-ish about how much stuff they get for gift giving holidays, and generally give them one gift they really want, and let the extended family take care of the small stuff. As a result, my two DCs (4 and 3) are usually pretty grateful for what they do get, and it makes it a joy if I get them a little something for a no reason surprise...they get really excited about the smallest treats.

Original poster

alligatorpurse · 04/02/2011 17:41

I also wish there were no bloody toys in the cereal, then there wouldn't be any need for a system of whose turn it is to get it.

OP posts:

catinthehat2 · 04/02/2011 17:43

would struggle to disagree with OP

NotACompleterFinis · 04/02/2011 17:43

Easy that one - don't buy cereal with toys in

Original poster

alligatorpurse · 04/02/2011 17:45

We are careful too, but live among quite affluent people who can afford to give their dcs whatever they want to. I suppose everything is so much affordable now too compared with when I was a child.

OP posts:

Original poster

alligatorpurse · 04/02/2011 17:47

Too right NACF - bran flakes for everyone from now on, and they can count themselves lucky there's food on the table.

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 04/02/2011 17:53

My children now 23 and 17 got stuff on birthdays and christmas, as they got older they got games that came out on the xbox and playstation etc., I never bought for them willy nilly and they were always and still are to this day appreciative of anything they get given.

Being a single parent I worked to provide, nice home, nice clothes, the extra's were given infrequently but were always appreciated.

LadyOfTheManor · 04/02/2011 17:56

Oh I agree. Treats should be occasional-and not necessarily for "good behaviour".

In a world on consumerism I shall begin sewing clothes from now on.

FreudianSlippery · 04/02/2011 17:57

I wholeheartedly agree. It is something DH and I are very careful of.

BertieBotts · 04/02/2011 18:03

This is interesting on the subject.

I was brought up in a house with very little money and am astounded by how often people buy new things etc - I tend to keep stuff until it falls apart and then I really cherish the new version! But then I am aware I can go a bit far in my frugality. So it goes both ways.

LaWeaselMys · 04/02/2011 18:12

Schnitzel's first post is exactly why most people live john lewis. They very carefully limit their stock, so there only ever a few of each type of thing. Much easier to compare, choose and come away happy instead of doubting yourself.

OP... Yes, probably. But I don't think DD is old enough for me to know how she reacts to situations like that. We are still at more is good to share betwen DC stage.

LaWeaselMys · 04/02/2011 18:13

Live? Love

TheVisitor · 04/02/2011 18:14

Yes, definitely! When we've been more flush with money and given more, they've been more whingey. We had a fairly frugal christmas last year, and they appreciate everything they were bought.

DanJARMouse · 04/02/2011 18:16

Do cereals still have free toys?!

We buy a huge range of cereal, and havent had anything in any of them!

Totally agree with OP, kids are spoilt these days... you just have to look at the number of kids aged 3+ with Nintendo DS consoles, X Boxes, Wiis etc!

My kids have none of it!

Ragwort · 04/02/2011 18:22

I agree (also didn't think cereal had toys in any more ) - I am constantly amazed about how much 'stuff' so many children have or those that can't keep their room tidy because they have so much. Another thread today talks about the 'mess' in the living room because of all the toys - surely if you don't have that many toys it won't make a mess?

We have always been very strict about what our son has (given stuff away if he gets too many presents etc) - he therefore does appreciate what he has and looks after things. He has had to save for his one and only 'technological' game which he bought himself, second hand from ebay.

On a recent thread about 4 year olds having a DS console someone commented 'its just another toy' - but why have so many toys, and why spend so much on a toy?

Rant over .

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 04/02/2011 18:28

does cereal have toys in? maybe you're giving them too wide a choice of cereal, never seen a toy in porridge oats
Agree totally OP - I ahve a constant battle with teh GP over this 'cos they can see how unitldy our house always is ( they comment on it) but insist on bringing the kids endless tat hen I am trying desperately to de-clutter. My dad was very deprived as a boy - he wants to give them stuff he would have liked. Our DC are nost definitely not deprived, and it drives me mad! The GP now sneak stuff in when I'm out...

Original poster

alligatorpurse · 04/02/2011 18:28

Interesting link. I agree with most of what he said.

Slight tangent....I'm not expecting great floods of gratitude from my dcs, but I do want them to appreciate things and be aware that there are many people with much, much less. I was brought up in a frugal household and expected to say thank you, often more than once, for everything and would NEVER have complained about anything I was given. I've noticed that now it's fairly acceptable for kids to fuss a bit about what they are given, e.g. at my dd's last birthday party, several of the children asked for a different party bag or prize, and the parents seemed to think that was ok.

My own childhood was a bit too much about etiquette and appearances and there was very little attention to feelings, so I do want my dcs to be able to be honest, and maybe that includes being able to say if they don't like something? Gah...I'm overanalysing this now. It probably depends on the child anyway - my dd1 usually follows the social etiquatte rules of saying thank you and trying to appear grateful even if she doesn't really feel it, whereas my ds is a heart-on-his-sleeve kind of kid, for better or worse.

OP posts:

Original poster

alligatorpurse · 04/02/2011 18:29

Oh...and we are not in UK, which might explain the cereal toys?

OP posts:

verytellytubby · 04/02/2011 18:29

I agree completely.

FooffyShmoofer · 04/02/2011 18:39

Yanbu at all.

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