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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in really starting to dislike my neighbour?

53 replies

ziva · 04/02/2011 12:35

we moved in at the same time as my neighbour 6 years ago.for the first few years all was grand but for the last two years ive become to really dislike her.
she is very loud in general,slamming doors,shouting,music on usually at 6am when shes going out to work.so im awake then despite the kids still being asleep :-(
then her two dogs start howling in the kitchen until 12 when her friend lets them out.they are out til 4pm when neighbour comes home from work.but everyday they manage to get into my garden (they are determined and dig holes,squeeze or climb to get in) so i usually come home from the school run to find my bin tipped,poo all over the garden and mud all over my glass door.i then have to chase the buggers out and block up where they came in.

my neighbour knows what happens but never blocks up the holes herself.they destroyed my garden when we went on holidays,and chewed the swing set.

AIBU to be really pissed off at her?

OP posts:

Original poster

ziva · 04/02/2011 13:21

lol i see british council housing on tv going gosh look at the size of that kitchen,its huge.
meath county council is known as the worst one in ireland.

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peanutbutterkid · 04/02/2011 13:22

Sorry to hijack, in England, Housing Ass. property, who is responsible for trimming the front hedge? I am thinking of a house with a hedge that goes 3-4 foot over the pavement out front. It's a complete nuisance to squeeze by every day; I phoned the HA and they said they'd sort it -- months ago and nothing has happened.

The lady who lives there has lots of young children and nowhere to store the hedge trimmings, anyway; I don't think it's fair of her to be expected to keep the hedges trimmed. She'd need an electric hedge trimmer and a trailer to get it done in reasonable time and haul away. Is she expected to arrange all that?

jenroy29 · 04/02/2011 13:27

Yes it is her resposibility unless she has a disability.

fifi25 · 04/02/2011 13:29

I had the same problem in my last house. I had a huge lawn with a hedge all the way round. I was responsible for it. I had the recycling bin but there was no way the hedge was going to fit in there. I did let it grow once and got a letter about it. I have moved to a house with a smaller garden and my friend lives in my old house. She now realises why i swapped houses with her. I didnt mind doing the lawn but it was a nightmare doing the hedge. It took the best part of 2 days.

peanutbutterkid · 04/02/2011 13:30

That just seems outrageous, you don't have the level of responsibility when renting in the private sector, do you?

fifi25 · 04/02/2011 13:33

Its only the last couple of years that my council have been coming down hard on people. You sign a years unsecure tenancy, one strike and your out. Its much harder with the secure tenancy tenants and they usually have to be taken to court to get an eviction notice. Theres such a high demand for council housing now with thatcher selling them all off.

Original poster

ziva · 04/02/2011 13:34

no peanutbutterkid.if we could afford private rent then house,garden,maintenence etc would be the responsibility of the landlord.right down to the kitchen presses.

OP posts:

jenroy29 · 04/02/2011 13:35

My HA makes it sound like it's more like your own home so you should look after it, iykwim.

Original poster

ziva · 04/02/2011 13:37

omg fifi thats a great idea.here you sign the tenancy and then the council dont give a shit unless you dont pay the rent.?180 a week to clean up next doors dog shit.

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saffy85 · 04/02/2011 13:40

YANBU your neighbour is taking you for granted- "never mind if the dogs crap all over ziva's garden and wreck the place- she wont complain" for you.

Tell her how you feel and if she keeps taking the piss then start playing dirty- I so would!

fifi25 · 04/02/2011 13:41

Ziva - Thats terrible they should take the responsibility and sort anti social issues out, Its not the 80's. I can remember when our council were like and some estates were no go areas.

Original poster

ziva · 04/02/2011 13:42

im going to say it this evening and see how it goes.wish me luck y'all.

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tjacksonpfc · 04/02/2011 13:42

I would definatly go and see her op, I no where your coming from re the howling. My nextdoor neighbour has a dog as do the rest of us in the block of 4 houses. However the rest of us has someone in most of the time with the dogs.

Nest door goes out to work at 7am and gets in between 5-7pm from the second she leaves the house her dog is up at the window barking solidly. Its a jack russell. We have all complained to our HA and they said they would have a word thats as far as it goes.

I even suggested to her that when she goes out she leaves her curtains shut so he cant see the cars going past as we live on a main road. This is what we do even though our dog doesnt bark at the window just looks out of it.

Her response was its not fair on the dog not to be able to see out. It doesnt matter its not fair on the dog to be left locked in for 12 hours a day or for the rest of us to have to listen to him bark for 12 hours. It really winds me up when people have dogs like this.

As for the fence and dog shit I would definatly be getting her round to clean up after her dogs and I would be billing her for the fence and contacting the rspca about the dogs being left for all that time.

Hope you get it sorted op

Original poster

ziva · 04/02/2011 13:47

they should,its written in the tenant handbook but they just dont.where i live now is grand but in my previous house you didnt go outside your door after 7pm.if there was trouble the gardai would always say they had no spare cars so it would be a while etc.

at least where we are now if i need to go to the shop at night,i do.

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fifi25 · 04/02/2011 13:49

If all else fails wait till shes out and chicken wire her side of the fence

RevoltingPeasant · 04/02/2011 13:52

ziva

Don't call the pound or anything: the animals will suffer and it's not their fault.

My mum has a similar problem. She took an old metal spade, scooped up all the dog shit and dropped it on her neighbour's front step, right where she'd have to walk to get in her front door.

She didn't have to do it more than about twice....

kepler10b · 04/02/2011 13:56

you need some lessons in assertiveness. it's perfectly fair enough to go to her and lay out the facts

"hi x, i just wanted to talk to you about a couple of issues. your dogs have dug holes in my garden and done poo in it, damaged our swings and so forth - i realise it was an accident but i just want to find out how you are going to stop it happening again and would you prefer to put right the damage, or shall i do it and let you know the costs incurred for you to reimburse me? also i wanted to let you know that it has been quite noisy of late. i don't know if you are aware but we can hear your music at six in the morning when you are getting ready to go out. also the dogs howl from when you leave to when someone comes to let them out. i'd really appreciate it if there is anything you can do about those two things."

do it politely and without aggression. if she gets angry make sure you just remain calm and collected and let her talk (shout) herself out - perhaps saying you really don't want to fall out over these silly problems and would rather come and talk to her about it than sit stewing at home.

Underachieving · 04/02/2011 13:58

YANBU

You shouldn't have to be the one dog-proofing the fence. It's not fair on you. It's not your responsibility. She really ought to sort her own fence out... But the totally unjust reality is that she's not going to. So what you need to do is to get chicken wire or other wire-net type fence and bury it 2-3 feet down so you have made an underground fence. Then put a solid panel fence on top of the ground. It's a days work, it'll cost a bit, but it's simpler than it sounds. Sadly it'll probably mean digging up precious flowerbeds and lawns which is going to hurt but it's the lesser evil than having these dogs ruin your world all repeatedly. At least if YOU dig the beds up you can save any flowers. When the dogs do it they just trash the place and never put it back.

At this point I expect you are reading and thinking "but I shouldn't have to" and I utterly agree 100%. You shouldn't have to. But it's that or live with the termoil of this happening repeatedly. That sort of termoil gnaws away at you because things you have no control over do. Things you can control are best dealt with and done with for the sake of your peace of mind. Even when those things aren't your responsibility.

As for the noise this is also out of order. I have no legal/sensible ideas to deal with that so I'm going to not comment. I know what I'd do... But it's not something I ought to be promoting.

Original poster

ziva · 04/02/2011 19:20

hey y'all.
right well took the bull by the horns and went in to talk.convo went like this...

me:i think we need to talk about your dogs coming into my back yard.
her:yea i know,theres a gap at the end of the fence so XXX (my dh) should fix it.
me:um what about the dog poo in my garden...
her:its good for the grass

and she shut the door on me.i dont think im going to get anywhere with her.i know we've probably brought this on ourselves by not saying anything so there was no tension but now i feel taken the piss out of.
so dh is pricing chicken wire online and screening willow to hide it.
as he rightly pointed out the dogs are not the friendliest and come the summer i will want to bring my baby (at the moment 11months) out the back to play and if they get in they will probably go straight for her.they have had times snarled at me.

OP posts:

FetchezLaVache · 04/02/2011 19:28

Ziva, this just gets worse! She said "It's good for the grass" and shut the door on you? That's outrageous! No more Ms Nice Gal. Chuck that shit back over, if she objects points out it'll be good for her grass. And if those dogs break into your garden and snarl at your children, for God's sake call the dog warden. You are going to have to play hardball with 2 tiny children to keep safe.

fifi25 · 04/02/2011 19:28

What a bitch.

Original poster

ziva · 04/02/2011 19:36

she had her friends in so it could have been a bit of drink bravado.im preg with number 4 actually lol.
ah well we've decided to block up our side completly so any fence problems she will have to deal with.

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fifi25 · 04/02/2011 19:39

Get the kids to shit in her garden lol

TheVisitor · 04/02/2011 19:42

Definitely chuck the shit over into her garden and start sending her bills for the damage.

Original poster

ziva · 04/02/2011 19:42

oh lmfao.throw shitty nappies in her back.

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