to be having a wobble about husband's vasectomy?

[EsioTrot]

I have 2 IMO beautiful children, a boy and a girl. DD has just turned 1 and after being a bit of a velcro baby is now entering a golden phase of delightfulness. This combined with me getting a teeny tiny bit of time away from the home (am SAHM) has made the last couple of months so enjoyable and I feel like we've finally hit our stride. In all honesty the first 10 months of her life were a bit of a shock to the system and I found the jump from 1 to 2 children far harder than 0 to 1.

DH is convinced that he doesn't want any more children and in my saner moments I agree with him. He has made an appointment to speak to the GP to get a referral for a vasectomy. Financially we can manage at the moment (although money is tight), we can give both children quite a bit of attention and we all fit in our house fairly comfortably. 3 would stretch us financially and if I'm honest probably mentally for me too.

Why then, when I know it makes sense to accept that our family is complete, do I find it so sad to accept that I'll never be pregnant again and we'll never have another baby? I don't even particularly like being pregnant or find the newborn stage easy (tend to overthink things and worry excessively).

I feel so ridiculously lucky to have my children and need someone to kick my arse and tell me to get on with it.

Really cybbo why? Is it spontaneity or just worry free or something I haven't even thought about?

spidookily you've hit the nail on the head.

Well H claims his todger has grown. But I havent measured so I cant be sure

But its def the 'worry' aspect (for him at least) of me getting preggers

Sorry spidookly must pay closer attention

LOL cybbo - better not tell DH, he'll be booking himself in pronto!

It is the best thing 'we've' done

Altho H's sample never came away 100% clear...and he got fed up with giving samples...so you never know

I think the only way to be 100% certain and happy about it is to arrange the snip a few weeks after you find out you are unexpectedly pregnant for the third time . Beleive me I'd have paid him to go!

my (now ex) DH was booked to have it done when our second daughter was 3 - I was 37, he was 42 and we where sure our baby days where over

but I kind of knew deep down I wanted another - so I asked him to wait

we went on to have a 3rd wonderful daughter - she is now 2 and I am so glad we did

1 to 2 was really hard but 2-3 has been ace - me and her dad are now divorcing (not related to having a 3rd) but it's the best decison I made to have her.

If you are even a tiny bit unsure - wait and double up on contraception x

I have 5 DC and had terrible pregnancies and births, 2 stillbirths and 2 miscarriages. Yet even after that and feeling 'done' I don't really want DH having the snip. I have the mirena instead, do have side effects but not that bad and the lack of periods are great.

I am early 30s and you never know what is going to be round the corner. So my reasons whi I don't encourage DH to have the snip are..After losing 4 babies my fertility meant everything to me, I couldn't choose to make myself 'infertile', it's hard to explain. It also scares me reading about cases such as the tragic couple who lost both sons in a crash. He had had the snip and they longed for another child. You can never replace a child, ever, but until you are in those shoes you just never know. Imagining their emptiness is awful.

Luckily my DH is not that keen on it himself.
Re the broodiness though, even though I feel 'done' and have 5 DC and find life chaos at times, I still get sad that I will probably never get pregnant again, have a newborn etc etc. I imagine that I would find it harder if there was no choice even if I changed my mind/wanted it. If baffles me that so many people do something permanent in all honesty but I have friends who have had it with no regrets so each to their own!

So sorry to hear about your babies jellybeans I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to make yourself 'infertile'. Part of the reason I don't want to have any more babies is that I feel so lucky to have the two healthy children I have. I almost feel that I'd be jinxing things or pushing my luck by having a third.

gordy really interesting to hear that you found 2-3 an easier transition. How lovely that DD3 came along.

Orm and thus lies my worry!