...or should I stick it out....

[mulranno]

Think I am having a midlife crisis,and want to change everything about the way we live. But could this feeling just pass in time? So should I just continue to muddle thru? Or would I just be running away? Or would any changes be really unfar on the kids? Feeling vvv tired, vvv disorganised, not on top of anything at home, at work, with friendships, my health, children school etc and so is my husband. We are both 44 have 4 kids at 4 diff schools, one SEN, both work full time running our own businesses. I thought that things would get easier as they got older (12, 10, 9, 4,) ... but the housework, laundry, commitments etc is chaotic and over whelming. Not sure what the point of all this is? House needs so much doing to it. I cant be bothered to do it and not sure we have the cash to do it either. Feel like just selling up - downsizing to a modern house already "done" - loosing most of the mortgage and staying home to improve the quality of life for my family. Or am I just being a whimp?

I never iron. Saves loads of time. We just don't do it . Seriously, though, share with DH how you're feeling and why (if you can). Otherwise I agree with the comment that moving may not be the best option (flight issue...). That said, if you and DH are fully engaged, downsizing may just do the trick - we did it a few years back but went too far and bought abroad before checking out the schools / employment situ. Now find ourselves separating, renting, and with a farmhouse in the sun which technically is our primary residence... . Just take it steady before you jump.

I am ten years+ older than you and have similar problems/feelings.
Although my kids have all left school and they are all at work. There are problems related to that, shift patterns, clean work uniforms (like school).
None of them can afford to leave home (we are in the South East) and it is hard having to live as six adults.
What I would say is DON'T DOWNSIZE, you will need all the space you can get as they get older/bigger Don't move to any area where as they get older they will have to travel miles to College or for jobs.

Stay working it will keep you sane, and try to take as many shortcuts as you can. All mine do their own washing and ironing, wheras it is more practical for me to do the cooking. Make them responsible for their own rooms and don't worry if they live/sleep in shit!

Good Luck

Oh I do sympathise! Recently DH came home and found me sitting on the floor in front of the washing machine crying.
The house is a mess, Xmas cards stil unsent -DC b'day parties not organised, phone calls not returned, dentist not booked, etc etc etc, and the backlog of washing had just driven me over the top. DH sat down next to me, gave me a cuddle and then started to marshal the DC. He gave them tasks, organised what day they each should have their washing brought down, got them to sort socks (a clean mound unsorted) and theatened dire consequences for dirty clothes lying around not in their washing baskets..
We also now spend a couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon where we all make a small inroad into the general mess, and it is starting to look like we are making progress.
Appreciate you have four and the last one tiny, but maybe you could rope DH into thinking about a schedule for them.
So far mine seem to be rallying and even initiating tidying in a small way, so can happen...