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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask her to remove the photos from FB?

23 replies

Canella · 04/02/2011 07:07

or am i being over sensitive??

An acquaintance from school is on my FB friends list - she sent a request and i recognised her face so added her but we were never really friends at school.

So this week she's spent her days uploading old photos from our school days - most of school holidays we went to in the late 80's early 90's - and tagging me in the ones i'm in. She didnt ask me if it was ok but i was in a group so it seemed fair enough.

Obviously fashion and hairstyles were shocking (oh it was a bad time for fashion!!) but i went along with it - i'm not ashamed of how bad the clothes or hair were - i cant turn back time!!

But then last night it was like she had something personal with me and another fella we went to school with - she just kept uploading the absolute worst ugly photos of him and i - there were quite a few!! he commented on it and she said - oh theres more where that came from!!!

Was i BU to message her to ask her to remove them and say enough is enough!! i would never have posted ugly unflattering photos of anyone on the internet so am i being sensitive in asking her to remove them?

OP posts:

nickschick · 04/02/2011 07:11

She wont though I will bet all she will then know is it bothers you.

Its facebook its what people do and spiteful people are spiteful on the net and in real life - id be tempted to say 'oh u have a collection of xxxxx photos,was it a schoolgirl crush??

thumbdabwitch · 04/02/2011 07:14

Hmmmmm. The Curse of Facebook.
Let's see - you were never really friends; she is posting some terrible photos of you, she's not really trying to score friendly points here, is she. She may be doing it deliberately to wind you up, in which case showing that you are wound up would be a "score" for her - can you not just Hide her and at some point in the future defriend her when you're having a general clear out?

ReformedCharacter · 04/02/2011 07:14

She sounds like a dick!

YANBU at all!

Megatron · 04/02/2011 07:24

Delete her, she's loving this.

Original poster

Canella · 04/02/2011 07:28

Thanks for not telling me i was being ridiculous!! If they were my photos i'd have binned them a long time ago - they were that bad!!
She messaged me back saying she hadnt meant to offend me - the rest of the message was proper gushingly creepy!! But one photo - the worst one- is gone!!
Thumbdabwitch - think your right - i might need to do a cull soon!!

OP posts:

Lulabel27 · 04/02/2011 07:32

Can you just untag yourself so they don't show up on your profile?

Stac2011 · 04/02/2011 07:36

YANBU especially as she seems to be singling you out, but I agree with op that she may keep it up as she knows it bothers you. As you said fashion was crap, ignore her the pics they will be forgotten soon enough, but if you say more she may keep adding them. Fwiw she sounds a complete bitch, defriend her

RailwayChild · 04/02/2011 07:36

You can untag yourself

A friend of mine did this. No malice or spite intended and we have all had a laugh. Just untag yourself and forget it

Original poster

Canella · 04/02/2011 07:58

Oh i didnt realise i could untag myself!! On my ipod just now but will have a look when i'm on the laptop later!!
Dont remember her being nutty but to be honest i dont remember her very much at all - just recognised her face!! I never add people from school if i've no recollection of them even if we share friends but think i need to tighten my own rules!!

OP posts:

tuggy · 04/02/2011 08:21

Just untag and forget about it? no big deal?

AstronomyDomine · 04/02/2011 08:25

Yes, untag then maybe just take her off your friends list?

52Girls · 04/02/2011 08:26

Not only can you untag but no tagged photo will see the light of day again on your page if you adjust your settings accordingly.

ValiumSandwichTime · 04/02/2011 08:28

I wouldn't ask this. Any photo of you, not to upload it because you're in it?!

I understand how you feel, but from her pov, she will think that's unreasonable I bet.

Weather it, say nothing, she'll run out of old photos very soon.

Everybody knows we all looked worse at school. Have yet to run into anybody who looked gorgeous at school and now looks terrible. Always the other way around!!

Original poster

Canella · 04/02/2011 08:28

i went to the photos but couldnt find anywhere to untag myself cause they're not my photos! how do i do this?

OP posts:

Blacksand · 04/02/2011 08:32

My friends SIL - the epitome of passive aggressive - only ever posts pics of my friend that are unflattering. At parties etc. even when my friend knows there are better pics of her in SILs camera.

Canella - i think you look at the list of people below the picture and hover over your name - there will be an option to remove / untag.

belgo · 04/02/2011 08:35

I would just remove the tag.

shinyblackgrape · 04/02/2011 08:35

Agree with untagging!

For what it is worth, I accepted a friend request from a girl whom I went to school with.

She posted something on my wall which I wasn't happy with (some friend question thing asking if I was a liar?! Wtf?!). It might have been randomly generated from an app but I wasn't very happy. I just deleted it straight away and unfriended her.
I just couldn't be bothered with it and couldn't care less about keeping up with her. I also couldn't care less what she thinks or says about me either for unfriending her.

I would consider unfriending (without saying anything to her) if it happens again. Don't give her the satisfaction of showing you're bothered though.

Firawla · 04/02/2011 08:58

you can set it so that people can tag you but it never shows up on your profile, only the stuff you add to your own profile.

Deciduousblonde · 04/02/2011 09:01

The photos should have your name underneath and (remove tag) next to it.

zikes · 04/02/2011 09:10

Shinyblackgrape, some of those applications randomly generate questions & answers & profiles, and your 'friend' might not have answered a question on it at all. It's like those 'who's looking at my profile' applications - randomly generated garbage.

OP, another one for the untagging. Plus, ime, we often hate photos of ourselves that other people genuinely think are quite nice! But untag.

Original poster

Canella · 04/02/2011 12:32

i found the untag thing!! thanks!

zikes - there was no chance there was anything nice about some of these photos - it was the 80's!!

If there had been an odd one or 2 photos i'd not have bothered but think there was no end to them!!

Shinyblackgrape - think we need to realise if we havent thought about these people for 20 years then there was a reason for it!! going to have a bit of a FB cull later!

OP posts:

mutznutz · 04/02/2011 12:34

Change your settings to 'only me' when it asks who can see the photos you're tagged in. It wont stop her friends from seeing them in her album though.

bethelbeth · 04/02/2011 12:45

I dunno, even if they are old embarrassing pictures I quite like seeing them because that IS what I was like after all...

She does sound a bit malicious though with the sheer number of them.

Everyone looked silly in the 80's... take a copy for yourself and untag. It's only facebook!

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