to be pissed off with my sister about her wedding plans

[sonicthesardine]

My sister and her DP have just announced their engagement. They plan to get married late spring this year. They're going to go to the Registry office, grab a couple of witnesses off the street and get married. They will then have lunch/ hotel etc. No guests.

I have only been told about it because they have asked me to look after their DS(5) and DD(2) for the day.

I'm pleased they're getting married,have no particular problem with their wedding, their way and I'm happy to look after niece and nephew.

However, they're also all emigrating in September to Seattle where my sister's DP is from. My DH is disabled and can't travel for long distances, parents aren't in great health and will have difficulty affording the airfare more than once in at least every 5 years.

I'm a bit pissed off with my sister and think she is being very selfish by not having a party to celebrate her wedding or letting my parents organise one (which they and we would like to do). AIBU?

Perhaps they're going to have a party in September before they go?

YABU , its her life and her choices.. and who is to say she wont be coming back to visit regularly.

YABabitU
September is a long way away. Have a big fat family do in the summer and let that be a celebration of lots of things.

Sorry, but people can't make their wedding day something that they don't want it to be and be resentful and unhappy about it just to please their family.

She wants to have a leaving party in September and do it then. I think it should be as well so we can celebrate something happy before she buggers off.

She won't be able to afford to come back to visit regularly. She's suggested she comes back every 5 years and someone goes out each year in between [not going to happen].

You can celebrate something happy in september...her marriage and the new life she's about to start.

YABU - they don't have to have a party if they don't want one.

I don't mind not going to the wedding, perfectly fine for it to be the two of them. I'm not bothered about seeing them the same weekend.

I just really do think it is a shame that there is nothing celebrating their wedding with her family sometime near the date.

Am I the only one who finds it strange that they don't even want their children @ their wedding??

I guess they are getting married for legal purposes, so its not very interesting for the children

Surely its not your decision to make? Its nothing to do with you what she chooses to do. Yes you are being unreasonable and in my opinion selfish. Why should she do anything other than what her and her DP want?

NOT

Their lives but other people are also effected by their decisions, they do not live on a desert island as illustrated by their need for child care

I have a sister like that, it is her and DH and DC, until she needs something.

They're having a quiet wedding because it is her DP's second marriage and he didn't want a lot of fuss.

I know it isn't my decision to make. I'm not saying anything about it to her other than 'oh right'. I do feel a bit sorry for my parents that they won't actually get to celebrate her wedding except for a few months later when they are also saying goodbye.

I just think it is a bit of shame that she and her new DH aren't planning to go to my parent's house soon after the wedding and have us, my parents and grandparents (so about 10 people) say 'congratulations, have some champagne, did you have a lovely day, here's a little present'.

It will be much harder doing that for the goodbye party because it will be 3/4 months later, all their stuff will have been shipped so no point giving anything and everyone will be a bit down about the move.

It is OK to have a quiet wedding but so self centred to exclude these close to them.

People off the street as witnesses, weird!

In my opinion