to talk to ex dp about this?

[curlymama]

Slightly trivial, not much of a problem, but I'd like to know if you would bother talking moaning to the dc's Dad about this.

We get on really well, co parent in nearly every way we can, chat about most things and are generally on very good terms. It hasn't always been like that, but is has been for the last few years and I feel very lucky that we have managed to maintain such a good relationship, and that my dc's have a fantastic Dad.

But, on the weekends that he has the dc's, he only does the easy homework with ds1 who is 11. By that, I mean he either gets him to do the maths or spellings sheet, and leaves the big research thing that involves lots of googling and writing down to me to help with. I have usually got him to do one of the sheets done during the week, but we do tend to save homework for the weekends just because week nights are usually busy with ferrying around to the various clubs or lessons, friends coming back after school and instrument practice. It works for us most of the time.

So the dc's go off with their Dad on a Saturday morning, come back on Sunday evening, and all ex has gone is get ds1 to sit down with whatever sheet needs doing, and left him to it. Ds1 doesn't need any help at all with those types of things, but when it comes to actually writing a few paragraphs, he really struggles. He has AS, zero imagination and truly doesn't understand why he can't just copy and paste. In his mind, he has provided a piece of paper with the required information, and that should be that! So as you can imagine, getting him to write anything in his own words can be like pulling teeth.

AIBU to make ex do these types of homework with ds, even if he has to go to his sisters to use the printer, and take up around an hour of his time with ds? I know the weekends ex has the dc's are precious to him, and he doesn't want to spend that time nagging at ds to do homework that he hates having to do. But then I spend half my time getting them to do things thay don't want to do as well.

Sorry, longer than I intended it to be!

Erm. I might be a bit dense here. But if your DS goes to school during the week, then the only bit of real quality time you have with him is at the weekend when he doesn't se his dad. Yes? So even though you see your DS more than your ex does, it's not all fun time as you presumably have to rush around getting ready to go to school in the morning, cooking, cleaning etc. Therefore homework eats into your time with DS just as much as it does for his dad.

In addition, he's his dad. Dads are for helping with homework just as much as mums are.

In conclusion, YANBU!

Is your ex generally quite reasonable? If he is, he shouldn't have a problem with this. It's really good that you're prepared to make it easier for him by e.g. doing the printing, but they'd need to make sure the work is definitely saved/emailed before DS leaves his dad's house.