A boy in DS's class. They are all 5.
Since September, I've seen 3 occasions in which it has been automatically (as far as I could see) assumed that Boy A is in the wrong, when actually it was at least 50/50 on all occasions. I've never seen it happen the other way. Once was in the classroom (person in charge: TA), once was at a party (person in charge: adult host of party) and this morning his carer from Out of School Club was (imho) really harsh on the boy.
I know the perils of making assumptions and of course I'm not at all keen on involving myself in the care of someone else's child, but it seems unfair. He IS a boisterous child, but he's also funny, clever and seems to be pretty open. The three times I've seen him come off worse have all involved some underhand stuff from the other child.
This morning, the children were lining up outside the classroom. I was chatting to DS and his chums (including this boy - I will call him Boy A), when another boy (Push In Boy) zoomed up on his scooter and jumped in between DS and Boy A. Boy A was upset (he had been deep in discussion about some plastic tat or other) and tried to get his place back (shoving a bit etc). The carer from Out of School club was immediately right in his face, raising her voice and wagging her finger - "DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT!" - and entirely ignoring his protestations that the Push In Boy had pushed in (he was saying nothing and was quite happy to let Boy A take the flak). Boy A was really sobbing by this time and it was just AWFUL.
We are good friends with Push In Boy's family, so I felt able to say, "Er, [Push In Boy], you actually did push in - do you think you should go back to where you were?" - he shrugged, grinned it and went straight back. The woman stopped shouting at Boy A and he slowly cheered up.
Push In Boy's Dad had caught up by this time, so I quickly explained it (more to check he wasn't going to be pissed off that I'd asked his son to move back) and he quietly commented that he thought Boy A copped a lot of flak. I didn't make much of it, but it is exactly how I feel.
The complication here, for me, is that he is the only black child in school. He is the only black child at the Out of School club. His family come from outside the immediate locality of the school (it is in an unusually self contained little hub, cut off on one side by a river and on the other side by a major A road) and he is the only child from his family to come to this school.
I think, from talking to his Mum previously, he is the youngest of 4, but she was disappointed with their local school. But because he is geographically distanced from the other children, he has to attend Out of School Club whilst his Mum collects the others.
It is really playing on my mind that he is being singled out. My DS tried the Out of School Club and hated the woman that was shouting today. He refused to go back, in fact.
There's nothing I can do, is there? I know it's not my business, I've only seen a very small number of incidents and of course I can't go around throwing out accusations of racism or maltreatment. However, I always feel that adults DO have an obligation to speak up if they feel a child is being unfairly treated.
We are going to ask him for tea, anyway, because DS is nuts keen on it and, for me, that means one less evening for him with the Shouty Woman.
I really need to get this out of my system because I feel really shitty about it.