to think adulterers should be made to pay compensation

[kepler10b]

there is so much 'no win no fee' compensation for things that are not even malicious, just negligent (e.g. spillages on floor that you slip on, whiplash from someone driving into your car etc).

why isn't there compensation from adulterers when they have an affair?

I've been divorced for adultery, commited long after I left the relationship. It's a legal term, doesn't necessarily mean you cheated. It's also quicker than waiting for legal separation. That's all.

I can understand what you're getting at OP, the emotional distress was unbearable for me when I found out that my ex was having an affair. I divorced him quick smart, but he had nothing for me to 'take him to the cleaners' for, so I didn't get compensated in any way for the pain he put me through. It's been 9 years now and I'm happy, but I will never forget the pain I felt at that time, it really did hurt me physically, my insides felt like they were being ripped out and I was mentally unstable for a long time afterwards.

We didn't have the best relationship, but I was coping with a lot, both my in laws had died, I had my awful sister in law living in my house trying to dominate everyone's attention while I was trying to manage a grieving husband and two kids, including dd who is disabled and very hard work. He chose to withdraw from us as a family and preferred to spend all his time drinking with his mates, during which time he met this other woman. So our sex life was almost non existent, and that was all he seemed to ever want when he was home, so that was his justification for looking elsewhere. He's married to her now and they are well suited...

"some people deserve to be cheated on" - who's the judge and jury on that one then?? and what if the don't deserve to be cheated on.

as for divorce being the compensation, what if your partner is not only the cheater but ends up taking you to the cleaners in the divorce? the 'wronged' party does not always benefit financially afaik. if the adultery was taken into account in terms of financially benefitting or protecting the assets of the faithful party then fair enough.

as for extenuating circumstances...well these don't hold in other cases of compensation, do they? if you drive into someone it doesn't matter if you were feeling upset that day. if you libel someone it doesn't matter if they are actually an arsehole. having an affair is breaking a vow and can lead to total suffering and devastation. i don't know any equally horrible action a human being can do to another human being where there is no legal comeback at all.

most affairs are not started by battered women though.

i was in an abusive relationship. the infidelities of my partner added to the abuse. i never considered having an affair myself.

you could say the same of murder / manslaughter...some people feel they are driven to it. that doesn't mean murder / manslaughter should not be seen as criminal acts.

who would make the definition of an affair

some things i read on here are called affairs, yet I wouldnt consider them to be affairs in the way that I understand it

If we start paying compensation for hurt feelings in personal relationships, it'll soon get to the point where we can't even argue with anyone in case they sue us.

Madness!

what a useless idea,you cant be serious.but if you are go start a make the shaggers pay campaign.

hire no win no fees lawyers advertise inbetween kyle show to all the shaggers that watch that

Practically, what exactly would you be claiming for in legal terms? Presumably damages for emotional distress

This is something which the courts have always been reluctant to do for pretty good reason, i.e. quantification is very difficult, the distress needs to be exceptional and the condust in causing it needs to be extreme or severe.

Otherwise you'd have an absolute flood of claims ranging from "my ex-partner was so nasty in an argument a week ago that I've been unable to work since" to "my neighbour negligently ran over my cat a month ago and I've been depressed since".

Do divorce settlements take infidelity into account? I'm not saying they should or shouldn't I'm just curious as I thought they didn't, that's what MIL was told anyway.

Let's stone them all.
What a load of twaddle.
Some people seem to think it's OK to have a spouse who belittles or humiliates you, but if they sleep with someone else it deserves the death sentence.
It's just sex.
If you end up getting divorced then the higher earner pays compensation in the form of divorce payments anyway, plus they often see alot less of their kids.
If my husband chose to start sleeping with someone else I'd be upset and angry, but no more so than if he drank heavily or gambled. In any of these cases I'd probably get divorced, although I'd see him sleeping with someone else as potentially less damaging than the other 2.

In Scotland infidelity and fault makes no difference to divorce settlements.