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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said that I see going to work on Monday as a bit of a rest?

45 replies

LittleOneMum · 01/02/2011 16:21

I have two children, DS (3) and DD (9 months). They are both pretty exhausting, I don't need to preach to you lot, you know what 2 energetic tinies are like. This weekend, they were particularly exhausting as we all had nasty colds and DD decided to wake several times in the night and as DH had important football to go to play AND watch Grin I basically was alone with them all weekend.
So on Monday I went back to work (I work P/T) and was accosted my a female colleague in the corridor. The conversation went like this:
Her: "Oh hello LittleOne, you've recently come back from maternity leave, haven't you? It must be such a wrench leaving your two!"

Me: "Not really, no, frankly on Mondays I love coming to work for a bit of a rest".

Her (shocked silence): "I've never heard a woman say that before".

Me: "Er, just being honest. I do love and miss them, it's just nice to have a break sometimes, especially as I love the job".

Her: "Hm. I think it is odd".

I had a cry in the toilets, I am ashamed to say. Because I do love them. AIBU to really like being away from them sometimes?

I do get home every night for bath and bed, on case you think I'm mental career woman. Sad

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 01/02/2011 16:22

Some people are martyrs.

Some people think women should be martyrs.

Some peple think mothers especially should be martyrs.

Ignore them, they are twats.

yogididabooboo · 01/02/2011 16:25

nah fuck that.

I was once told i was out of order for looking forward to the weekends my DC went to their dads as it meant i had 2 days off.

i told her as i would tell you to tell this old hag "fuck off"

loving your child doesn't mean you have to love being with them constantly.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 01/02/2011 16:25

YANBU
I love going to work - a change is as good as a rest. I am actually somewhat disquieted by being on maternity leave at the moment, and feel a bit hemmed in.

compo · 01/02/2011 16:26

yanbu
insensitive twunt!

Bensmum76 · 01/02/2011 16:28

You are def not bring unreasonable! She is! I have a three year old and have just started mat leave and couldn't wait to take him to nursery this morning. Also I adore going to work, being with other adults and not having to deal with little ones for a bit. There is nothing wrong with enjoying time away from your children.

frgr · 01/02/2011 16:31

Your colleague is odd.

So it's ok for a man to have no qualms about leaving his children at home, enjoy outside interaction, keeping his career and using his training/expertise in the field... but you are odd because you also want that?

What a strange colleague you have - does she have an awful Dh or something, and she's convinced herself men find it easier to emotionally detach from offspring?

eastegg · 01/02/2011 16:34

YANBU at all. I feel the same about my job,and it's in no way restful as I'm sure yours isn't really.

This reminds me of my mum telling me about looking after my very collicky brother - she used to watch my dad going to work and be desperate to swap places. Nothing to feel bad about.

magnolia74 · 01/02/2011 16:34

I look forward to Mondays all weekend Grin

reluctanthomosapien · 01/02/2011 16:34

I'm a SAHM, and when DH is around I volunteer to do all the housework and chores just to get some space - even just mental space - between my DCs and me. Doing the weekly shop on my own, free of the constant mummeeeeeeing feels like Nirvana. I can't wait to go back to work. I love mine to bits, but they push my mental, and sometimes physical, resources to breaking point most days. YANBU and your colleague is an idiot. And I'm a little bit jealous of your Mondays.

Original poster
LittleOneMum · 01/02/2011 16:37

Oh, bless you, you lovely lot.

reluctant I'm sure you will work again soon. Or you can come and share my Mondays!

magnolia - how deeply reassuring.

eastegg I also felt like your Mum a bit when DD was tiny; she was really miserable for the best part of 4 months when she was born and I really did envy DH as he joyfully went off to work...

OK, so it's unanimous really - you can love your time off as well as your time with your children. Hurray.

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 01/02/2011 16:39

I've heard that sentiment expressed a lot, so yanbu.

KikiJane · 01/02/2011 16:41

YANBU. I only look forward to the weekends properly now that my children go to their dad's every other weekend are 11 and almost-10.

getoffme · 01/02/2011 16:51

hi, i just got back to work last week from maternity, my mil said it will do wonders for my sanity, my boss, a man, said it will do me good to have a break from the baby.
it is actually nice to leave the house without nappies, bottles, complete change of clothes,etc... and to walk unaided, by a pram.

DarciesmumandTTC2 · 01/02/2011 16:53

Hi, I've said the same to DP I love my job anyway but go for a break, as sometimes its needed.

orangemarzipan · 01/02/2011 16:57

Very odd. It's a rest when I go to work and I've only got one to look after three days a week! So yes, I think you'd definitely find it a rest from having two.

Not saying I don't like being at home, I love it, but do like the balance with a part time job.

onehotmomma · 01/02/2011 16:57

YANBU sometimes it's nice to be 'onehotmomma' rather then mummy. Everyone needs a little time to themselves just to stay sane lol

CharityBeginsHere · 01/02/2011 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trixie123 · 01/02/2011 19:20

Yep, me too. I love my two days a week and am hoping to up it to three. People did keep asking me at first about the "wrench" of leaving DS with the childminder but really I felt fine, even though he was howling. DP has more of a problem than I do when its his turn to drop him off.

littlebylittle · 01/02/2011 19:23

Course yanbu. Someone said similar to me when I was on first day back from maternity leave. Really sensitive!

HotGiggity · 01/02/2011 19:24

Whenever anyone asks me if I'm looking forward to going back to work, my standard response is 'I can't wait!'

Only 6 weeks to go!

dementedma · 01/02/2011 19:26

God no. I look forward to Mondays most of the weekends when I'm doing all the cleaning/shopping/ironing/mindless grunt work. I yearn for a day alone. DH's days off are during the week (he works weekends) and i envy him that so much. my "days off" are weekends with DCs. My job is my sanity and YANBU at all. Your colleague is insane!

itsalarf · 01/02/2011 19:27

I find my work exhausting but it is a change. Honestly I wasted years feeling guilty about work and it's just not worth it. As long as your kids are happy (and they almost certainly are) enjoy!

macdoodle · 01/02/2011 19:28

Dear god you are DEFINITELY NBU!
I love going to work, I work part time which is perfect :) I get to have adult conversation, mental stimulation, I love my job, with the added bonus of having a shit in peace, a coffee before it goes cold, and popping for a sandwhich at lucnh time :)

Panzee · 01/02/2011 19:29

I was so ready to go back to work. Full time mum is so not me.:)

girliefriend · 01/02/2011 19:32

YANBU at all, has your colleague had children?!! I adore my dd but love the fact that at work (most of the time) I know what I'm doing!!!