To be totally exasperated because my son won't eat anything savoury?

[joannita]

My son is 13 months old and until he turned one he was eating fine. I'd give him a savoury dish then a pudding, like yoghurt, custard or rice pudding. Now he is refusing most of the savoury food I cook and fills up on fruit, yoghurt bread with cream cheese etc. I try not to give him loads of sweet stuff and expand what he will eat, so he will eat sweetcorn or a bit of brocolli but the problem is that the food he will eat changes from one day to the next. eg he'll have mashed sweet potato one day and then two days later completely refuse it, same with pasta and sauce, chopped up ham etc. I don't want him to get into bad habits so he only accepts sweet tasting food, but I'm also starting to feel like a complete mug, because I'll prepare him stuff and he will clamp his mouth shut and refuse to even try it.

It's not easy to find the time to cook because my husband doesn't get home till 6.30 or 7, sometimes later and I find it impossible to cook whilst caring for my son because he's so inquisitive and gets bored sitting in his highchair, but if I let him roam around he is pulling everything out of the cupboards and getting into scrapes and I can't get anything done. My husband works 6 days a week and Sundays are our only family day so I don't want to spend all day cooking and we often have other stuff to do anyway. I basically end up cooking after my son has gone to bed (he also doesn't have reliable naps and has only just started sleeping through the night, getting up anytime between 5.00 and 7.00am)and it's an effort which has no reward because he just won't eat stuff. My friends' babies shove handfulls of homemade lasagne in their mouths and my son just shakes his head at it. I know you shouldn't compare your kids to other peoples but why is mine the one who keeps me awake every night for a year, then starts sleeping but stops eating? According to the health visitor I can either carry on as I am or stop letting him have the yoghurt/rice pudding etc. If I don't let him have the sweet stuff I know he'll start waking in the night again. She says just give him water but that means hours of screaming and I can't face it because I've fought for a year to get him to sleep through.

I'm fed up and don't know what to do. Should I just give in to him or is that creating a rod for my own back later on? It seems to me like I've just got a choice of different rods!

Stick the bookshelf higher up the wall if you must keep them on a shelf?

These things really are only has hard as you make them...and kids are tougher than we think.

The lady nextdoor to me literally follows her toddler into the garden, round the fishpond, on to the decking and then back in and around the house...holding his bowl of food and spooning the odd mouthful in whenever her little Prince allows her to.

Why? Because he cries when she puts him in a highchair and she can't 'handle' the tears

Get rid of the shelf unit and pile the books in the loo if you have to.

Most baby-proofing stuff is just temporary, you don't need to drill walls etc.

He needs to be able to roam a bit on his own. Put the bookshelf on it's side with a few of his toys in it, if you can't move it from the room.

give him one cupboard in the kitchen where he can safely pull things out - put some pretend toy food and toy cans etc in there and say he can 'help cooking' with his cupboard.

also, at this age, he should be eating what you eat - so cook for you and DH and then do a bit extra and save for DS the next day?

Also, if you cant cook during the day - what do you eat?!

I'm not being paranoid about the dangers of leaving him on his own. He is so unpredictable and does new dangerous stuff all the time. I don't know what he's going to get up to next. Like learning to climb on tables. I leave him for five minutes at a time and go to check on him when I think he's too quiet. I am always right. He is always doing something he shouldn't. Eg eating paper or a stone he's found on the floor brought in on someone's shoe, or pushing the dvd player though the back of the unit.

I have a lot of books and limited space to keep them in. My toilet already has an ironingboard, mop, mopbucket and brush in it that he used to pull over on his head , knocking stuff off the kitchen units in the process. The loft is filthy and has a very small opening and our ladder's a bit short so I can't really see what's up there. Besides, the books he can reach are his and he likes looking at them, but if I don't watch him he'll rip the pages.

I eat a quick sandwich or something in the day

Its the perils of having kids... wait til you have another and the oldest pushes on the youngest soft spot / feeds them sweets / feeds them woodlice when you walk out the room - it happens!

Put a stair gate on the kitchen door frame if you are worried about him hurting himself whilst you cook. Or drag the high chair into the kitchen and give him some dried pasta, a bowl and a spoon as get him to 'help'

I like your suggestions even though I don't think they will work with him! Thanks!

It is really worthwhile getting at least one room of the house as safe as it can be. I've always had a room with a gate on that just has age appropriate toys in there I would invest in some units with doors on or drawers that can have safety locks put on them if you can afford it to put hazardous things out of the way. you can also get brackets to secure them to the wall for a few pounds. You could even leave a few cupboards open with interesting and safe things to explore - a colander, some pans, a wooden spoon etc.
As for the eating I think you are doing fine as you are. Your friends kids will go through similar stages when they are older and your child will be eating fine. I've personally never witheld pudding if the main isn't eaten because I think it just reinforces that the pudding is a treat for eating the horrible main! I've always just made sure that the pudding is healthy. I've always done what you are doing and build on what they will eat so if pasta and cheese sauce is a favourite try it with some meat/veg, if cream cheese sarnies are a favourite try it with some ham/salmon. Kids that age do chop and change what they are willing to eat day by day - it's perfectly normal. Just carry on as you were and you'll be fine.

Im sorry but he's far too young for you to conclude 'he wont eat this'. When they get to three plus they eat/dislike a whole different set of foods all over again. And ive never 'got' why people offer children who are so young 'pudding'? Why?

I offer children pudding because I give them fruit and it's a healthy part of a balanced diet! Why do you not give yours pudding? I only give it after tea though as the adults in the house rarely have pudding and never twice a day.

I gave mine pudding because they would eat it without a battle, enjoyed it and I couldn't see anything wrong with that. Rice pudding was a favourite for most of them and filling.

Hi, my DD is 14 months old. She went through a terrible phase for 2 months and is out the other side and is a good eater now, so it might not last that long?

Do you eat with your DS? It makes a huge difference - DD is far more interested in my food than hers, particularly if I'm going 'Mm, MMM this is DELICIOUS!'.

Also try the old 'two things on one fork' trick, a yummy thing and a less yummy thing - we used to mix rice pudding and mashed potato (yes yuck I know). It only works for about 4 bites but it's a great way to get carbs in!

I either let her scream for a bit if I'm in the middle of something and I know she can't get hurt, or I do the raisin run. This is when I leave a trail of raisins along the side table, into a clear pot (so she has to open it) under her stacking cups etc etc, it's educational and nutritious! It gives me enough time to fiddle with the oven, go for a long loo break etc etc DD is a raisin nut so she loves this game but you can vary it.

OOh yes, and exploit your high chair more - you can entertain them in it while cooking - with water-play, stacking cups, dried pasta, more raisins.....

I agree about the power struggle. I found ignoring mine while they ate sometimes helped..leaving them with a few things rather than watching over them..(embrace the mess though). And they always ate better with other people than with me. But then I find they went (and still go through) so many different phases food remains a continual frustration. But I have seen friends get really over stressed and think it made the childs food problem worse, as the parent got stressed at every meal time so the kid did. Messy play with food?

can you just keep a little bit of your tea and give it to him the following night? that way he will be eating what you eat - but a day late. it's the best way to help him be less fussy. mine eat wonderfully with this approach.

just stop giving him anything sweet full stop also. don't offer him alternatives if he doesn't eat your food. you can reintroduce puddings in a few months time but only one he has eaten all his savory. Puds are just extras really. I'd go through the night waking - he will learn quickly enough that it's just savories on offer.

yes and i agree - don't get cross or make an issue of it. act uninterested and be relaxed about how much he eats.

sometimes i give mine raw veg or salad to eat as they are waiting while i cook in the high chair.

my DD is just 14 months and has ssame problem with eating savoury food ( she has always slept though) she went from eating everything butternut squash feta cheese chicken etc ( never keen on beef though) then just blank refusing any savoury would spit it out eats her porridge without sugar etc but just not into any protein.

I don't really divide it as dinner and pudding just healthy food with some treats rice pudding with stewed apple is nutritional and healthy so is yogurt if not a kids one with added sugar better to use natural or greek but not low/0% fat and add fruit

but she eats better with me so we have meals together, eat cereal together in morning let him eat sandwiches or whatever you do for lunch or eat a small dinner with him at 1pm then tea later, then supper with your husband
this often co-incides with starting to feed themselves but if eating lots of fruit in different colours it will pass.

my DD has just tried smoky bacon as I was having it in my baked potato, she has tried odd things and liked them liked smoked almon pate and pheasant but she wont be getting that often. She eats better if just left with her food while I and Dh talk or read paper and talk to her too so it seems fun and also no big deal, my DD is only small 19lbs at 14 months and can not eat much so no filling up on just juice and water as then can not eat, she will not eat even cake if full.

I don't know how heavy your son is but every baby neds so much food so not hungry overnight a hungry baby will not sleep but if only eating non savoury you could try making it neutral toast porridge rice pudding egg custard perhaps cheese scones so its hiden inside

regarding babyproofing house I don't believe it is possible and apart from the obvious ( stairs, bleach, hot fires etc) should not be attempted, though I might get flamed for that!
we live in very old listed house so you can't go screwing things in anywhere,
I would only move exceptionally precios valuable things that you would be devasted if broken or ruined out of reach, its not realistic to put everything above 5' especially if he climbs.

but don't beat yourself up I don't think you can make a 13 month old eat anything its different when 2-3 when it may be being about control and just saying no as mummy has said yes then i think the no alternatives and no pudding is good

good luck joannita

Wrt the eating, just don't stress it. if you are relaxed about the whole thing then I think that's the most important thing forhaving a healthy relationship with food. I know its hard!

And for the not being able to cook thing - have you tried sitting him on the kitchen floor and taking out different sizes of bowls, pans, spoons etc and letting him bang about with that while you cook?

Get a funpod and stick him in it either at the sink with some water or at a drawer with safe stuff he can look at and throw about. This has stopped my son swinging about my ankles and I know he is safe and he can also see what I am cooking. As for food just relax. Some days my son won't eat something then a few days later he'll eat the same thing and try and get mine off my plate. He also doesn't eat when he is teething but I don't stress about ti as it isn't going to kill him. Do you eat the same food with him? He will eat better if he sees you eat the same stuff.