to want to accept an invitation for a free holiday?

[wonderwooman]

an old friend (bachelor) of ours (me & dh) has invited us (me, dh plus our 3 dcs) for the third time to join him on holiday (in a self-catering property in the UK) at Easter time. Third time because he's already asked us last summer and then at Christmas. We made excuses then because dh didn't want to go.

dh and i have just had almighty row over the latest invite - i would happily go but dh is dead against it. apparently i'm willing to disrespect his wishes for a free holiday.

our friend is godfather to one of our dcs, and comes to stay with us for the weekend every few months. he has been single for as long as i've known him (nearly 10 years). i feel he's trying to repay the hospitality he's received from us over the years and as he can't put us up in his tiny one bed flat, he's offering to pay for somewhere that will cater for us all.

am i being unreasonable to want to accept the invite?

Why does you DH not want to accept?

why is your husband so against it?

Not at all. Why is your DH dead against it though?

YANBU and I too am interested as to why DH doesn't want to go.

I'd be inclined to hand the DC over to him and go alone if that's how he felt!

I'm guessing this is either about you (he's straight and DH thinks he fancies you), DH (he's gay and DH thinks he fancies him) or the DCs (DH thinks he's creepy). Or maybe I just have a warped mind...

as Mrs Doyle in Father Ted said..'go on go on go on go on!'

he thinks it's 'weird' that our friend would invite us in the first place - that we understand he can't repay our hospitality.

i think it's more a pride thing and that he wont go on a paid-for holiday - especially by a friend. he's been on holiday when it's been paid for by, for example, my dm.

he also said he didn't want to spend a whole week with our friend as he can be quite intense, and that i can understand, but my suggestion that we went only for a long weekend was also poo-pooed by this stage of the 'discussion'...

Is he anti-social (she says from bitter experience)? Would he avoid being with people generally.

You chose this man as godfather to your child, so surely your husband thought enough of him to bestow that honour on him.

Why not suggest a compromise that you accept the holiday so long as you provide the food.

Has this friend spoken directly to your husband or is all the dialogue going through you at the moment? Maybe if they talk to each other it would have more success.

katey - not anti-social, but he likes us to be a private family unit. we went on holiday with friends and their dcs last summer which worked fairly well, but he hates being beholden to anyone else. he likes doing his own thing and is often unwilling to compromise (another bugbear!!) i find it very frustrating. as for your earlier comment, there may be an element of dh thinking df may fancy me... but tbh, it wouldn't normally worry him.

bubble - that's a v good idea about the food compromise...and no, the discussions have never taken place between dh and df, it's always me. i think you're right that they need to talk about it themselves. it's just annoying that it's always been me that has answered the phone on those occasions.

katie - what was your experience of an anti-social OH?

I would put him on the spot then.. say oh hang on, talk to DH about it.. pass him the phone and scarper..

Every time we are going to visit my friends or family, he gets 'ill'. He feels tired or has a cold and each time I think he is convinced it is true. It is only after me pointing it out repeatedly that when it happens now I just raise an eyebrow and he either gets defensive or admits it. I moved to be near him so he has many more friends here. It means that the compromise is that he doesn't have to spend as much time with my people but he now is not allowed to complain when he does. I am going back to visit on my own this time which means lots of time with friends and family and he doesn't have to come!

BTW, he likes his own friends and talks to his family a lot.