to think that a couple will share at least some similar qualities

[renlovesyou]

DP and I were discussing this this weekend.

It came up as a girl that was seeing one of his close circle has broken up with that friend and started seeing another close friend of his and her old boyfriends. She has generated quite a bit of sympathy despite this, because the old boyfriend was quite pretentious and know it all, and on the surface, totally undeserving of her.

Now this girl has been cold and dismissive to my DP on more than one occasion and he wont say, but I know hes hurt and I feel hurt for him. Shes been ultra friendly at other times.

I have said to DP that she probably shares some qualities with the pretentious guy she was with before, and that may explain her weird behaviour from time to time. They were, after all, together for many years and I cant help but feel that couples have to have at least SOME quality in common (not activity, hobby or interest, but some nuance that is the same)

This has got me thinking about couples in general. I know I share some annoying qualities with my DP. Does everyone? Or is that just my experience/feeling?

I should add that the Jeremy Kyle scenario that lead to the conversation is just me setting the scene!

I would imagine people do or why else would they fit so well together and stay together.

DP suggested that he knew lots of couples who were totally different and didnt really fit together. But I could still see 'something' in them that was similar!

I've found this to be true, some core attitudes and perhaps standards at least.

You're going to be arguing about what to do else.

But at the same time it's good to have some differences in perhaps the skills you have, so you compliment each other.

I would say that the same core values are needed, as agentzigszg says.

Definitely agree on it being good to have some different skills - my husband is a brilliant cook while I handle all the finances as he is not so hot at that.

My h and I are totally different, we share absolutely nothing in common at all. Polar opposites but we have been. Married 24 hrs so sometimes it works!